Spilt Ink

S2. W22 Closure

2011-09-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

I must have beensitting there for while. However long I cannot tell. The street was silent andall I could hear was the wind. My thoughts were silent. Nothing. My phone rang.It was Suni.

"Well doneMr Johnson. Clap for yourself."

I was too tired toeven argue. "You found her?"

"Of courseI found her. I'm her best friend."

"Oh.... yea.Thanks..." I was fumbling. All of asudden, this wasn't as important. Guilt stabbed my heart at this realization.

"Thanks?What the..."

"I'm happy...she's OK right?" I tried to addsome emotion and excitement to my voice.

"ShafaJohnson! What the hell is wrong with you. 5 mins ago you were disturbing mylife to find Yale now you're giving me this... nonchalant attitude?"

"Suni, I'mjust tired... I'm happy Yale is OK. I assume you won't tell me where sheis."

"Well..."

"Yea Ifigured. It's OK. So far she's fine, I'm happy. I'll give her some breathingspace..."

The heavy sigh Iheard from Suni was very... understandable.

"You guysare just something else. I don tiya. I'm going home. Please don't call me forANYTHING.. before you fast track my babies arrival. Abegi. Carry your familywoes FAR from me... " she kepton raving about premature births, heart problems, funny toes, I didn't evenhear. My mind was trying to figure out my mode of action with this thing. A lotof things started to come into perspective with Ronke.

"I'mgoing. Bye" Suni didn't evenwait for my reply. She hung up.

I folded the papersin my hand, stood up, locked my door and headed to the car.

Ronke hassome...Well.. WE have some talking to do.

***********************************************************************************

I want to ignore thecall. I mean... I KNOW why he is calling...but I'm not sure I'm ready for this.I knew this moment was going to eventually come.. but argh... I pick up.

"Yea...?"

"Ronke...."he paused. I wasn't going toencourage him to talk. After a bit I think he realized this.

"Ronke I'moutside..."

Aw man.... Deepbreaths Ronke. Deep breaths. "Oh...OK."

I walked to thewindow "Erm... do you want me to come out or......"

I know he's veryuncomfortable around me.

"Nah..I'll come in.........................." he paused for a brief moment then added "Orrather... can I come in?"

Wow..Mr Nice guy. "Yea...the doors open." I had walked to the door and unlocked it. I didn'topen it however. I really wanted EVERYTHING to be his call this time. I walkedto the living room ans sat down. And I waited. No turning back now.

He entered the houseand walked to the couch adjacent to mine. I didn't move. I just watchedhim. It's all you babe.

He sat down...and wejust looked at each other. Could've been a minute could've been five.

"So...that's why you terrorized my life."

I laughed before Icould stop myself. Great intro Mr Johnson. I just laughed and shook my head. "Iguess."

He sighedreally loud and adjusted his seating position so he was leaning forward with bothhis hands, which were supported by knees, covering his mouth. His eyes neverleft me. I can't remember the last time Shafa looked at me for this long, withthis much... interest. I was tempted to savour the moment.

"Whydidn't you say anything Ronke?"

Why didn't I? Wellsince its I've got his undivided attention. Might as well seize this rare andprobably last opportunity.

"What did youwant me to say Shafa? Abi what do you want me to say?."

My heart was beating faster because I was about to bare it. No censors, no holding back.. Iwould be nervous too.

"I went crazyI know. I mean, I didn't know how else to handle myself. I fell hard for youShafa. I fell hard... but obviously you didn't care.. and why should you. Afterall you were head over heels in love with my cousin. I was just... an inbetween, you know. In the mean time. And you know what that's fine. It'snot like I didn't know what I was getting myself into. But common, you mean notone ounce of emotion was felt for me? I find that hard tobelieve..."

I looked at him, butI wasn't expecting an answer... So I continued.

"Whenyou finally showed some interest in me, I really wanted to make youhappy. Hell I was ecstatic myself. Shafa Johnson found me attractive. You don'teven know what that did to my ego! And you fed it well! I don't know what itwas, but the way you looked at me, the way you spoke to me, you made me laughand then when we finally..."

I didn't want to haveto spell out our relations, but what the hell I need him to KNOW.

"You took myheart Shafa. You probably don't remember because it was nothing for you but...I remember EVERY single moment. I remember what you wore. I remember what yousaid right before you kissed me and I KNEW..." I laughed at the vivid memory.

"I knew I wasgetting some that night. I was ready anyways. I remember how you even smelled.As in... Shafa that was when I KNEW I was going to go crazy if I lost you. Eventhough I knew I never really had you. But you slept with me Shafa... and youwere NOT faking. Everything I felt from you was not a sham. I know this.. and..I know you know it too."

He hadn't taken hiseyes off me. I still had his attention.

"I had topreserve or recreate that moment... I was in love with you and you know what...I wasn't ready to face the fact that you didn't love me... and what we had was...nothing. So when I found out I was pregnant. I was ecstatic before I wasanything else. I thought at least now you know... maybe... but of course...that wasn't the case. You had already started to brush me off. Treat me likedirt. At first I thought you were just being moody but it got worse. You werejust detached. It was obvious you didn't even like my face. and that confusedthe hell out of me. How does one bare so much of their emotions on onenight and then be all of a sudden repulsed at my very presence the next. Itbroke me. So in one of my random spontaneous depressive moments right before Ileft Miami to come back. I aborted the baby and decided you weren't worth mytime or emotions."

He flinched a little.I saw it.

"Well itwasn't like I was ready for a kid anyways." I adjusted my sitting positions because somehow thatadmission made me embarrassed.

"So when Ileft, I shut the door on everything I felt about you. But then you moved backfrom Miami and all of a sudden everything just went in full circle. I was backto where I was. But this time. We are all present. Yale is here, you are here,and I am here. I know I have no chance against Yale. She has everything. But Ijust wished.. I just hoped that maybe... you know..............."

All of a sudden, justas soon as I started, I was soon out of words. I didn't know what else to say.

"Wow." Shafa sighed it. With a lot of energy.

"Ya."

He sat back in hischair and used his fingers to pinch his nose. Obviously he was tensed.

"I...I'm...I'm speechless."

"Iunderstand." I felt restlesssitting down waiting for a verdict so I stood up. "Want a drink?"

He nodded. Idecided to give me a moment alone with his thoughts.

I needed a moment alone with mine anyways.

***********************************************************************************

I had answered all my emails. Given they weren'tlengthy responses, but they answered the questions and addressed all thepurposes of the emails My work was done. My fingers hurt but my body wasrelaxed. I leaned back in my chair and looked at my screen. I closed the windowfor the emails and opened a new browser. I typed in the Google search box."Cheating Boyfriend".

I know... I know. Googling advice is NEVER a goodidea... but somehow I felt I might find some good points in there. Only 2 pagesYale. NO MORE...

I clicked the first result. Signs of a cheatingboyfriend...

This should be enlightening.

***********************************************************************************

He had had gulped hisglass of water. It was finished before I had settled back into my seat.

"I'm verysorry Ronke.."

I sipped my water. I didn'twant apologies. "Thanks.... I guess?"

"No forreal, I'm sorry. I should NEVER have..-"

"Let me juststop you there. Before you commence in crushing the pieces of my already brokenheart. I know... I wasn't your greatest decision I get that no need toemphasize it..."

"No you'regetting me wrong...."

"Am I?Shafa you want to apologize for ever being with me.. but you KNOW you arenot sorry for that moment..."

He stared at me...and I knew I had made a point.

"You stillthink of that night... whether or not my crazy side has turned you off in therecent months, you still think of what happened between us."

"Ronke....."

"Tell mehonestly that it was nothing."

He stared at me. Iwaited.

"Wasit?" I wanted an answer at least tosilence my own demons.

"No."

I was confused... "No...as in...?"

"No it wasnot nothing Ronke...you hear?"He ran his hands over his face..."Are you happy?"

Yes. I was happy. Atleast I know I wasn't and am not crazy.

"But...you KNOW I love Yale. I love Yale more than anything in this world. I've alwaysloved her. What we had...." hepaused. " It was a mistake"

.............Aaaannndddthe happy moment is over.

"It was aterrible mistake. And the consequences are .. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ropeyou in, I didn't mean for this to happen. It was really selfish of me. I'msorry you had to do what you do and I really wished you had told me,....."

"And whatwill you have done? Swooped me into loving arms? C'mon... you wouldn't havewanted that baby either. I did what benefitted both of us." I felt the bitterness coming back up. The one that I hadused to protect myself all this time. I hated being this vulnerable and thisone moment I have decided to bar my emotions I'm getting ripped apart. Reflexbitterness was coming back to protect me.

"See Shafa...the point is I want closure that's why I wanted to tell you about everything. I'mnot expecting you to all of a sudden want to be with me, I know it won't work.And quite frankly I'm tired of exhausting my emotions on trying to relive thatone moment in Miami. I just want closure. Now you know. I'm good. "

I stood up. I wantedto get away. He grabbed my hand...

"Ronke..." he stood up. He was really close. I wasn't with heels. Iforgot how tall he was standing right next to me. "Pleasesit"

"I can'tShafa..."

He took my otherhand.. "Please" he turned me to face him. I had to lookat him.

"Let'sfinish talking...we need to."

No turning backRonke. I sat back down.

"HonestlyRonke. No bullshit, be real with me...... What do you want?"

I don't know!!! Iwanted to shout. I thought I knew all this time. But recently I've realizedwanting something that isn't yours is just really time and energy consuming. Iguess I just want answers

"Do you haveANY feelings for me? As in ANYTHING... or is it just... hate?"

"Ronke I don'thate you...I mean you irritate the hell out of me... but.. I don't hateyou."

"Ok.....?"

"If youare asking if I'm still attracted to you... the answer is No. I not. I DOremember the night we spent together... I can't forget it.. but for me it wasonly physical....I...I'm sorry...."

He was still holdingmy hands... I looked at them.

The weird thing is...I knew he was telling the truth. See, with Shafa, everything is sincere.

I guess that's fine.I mean... what was I expecting? A proposal?

"That's OKShafa... "

"I canmanage my attraction Ronke, but you GOTTA manage your emotions too. I love Yaleand I really don't want to fuck whatever else we have left even further. I wantto marry her. I want HER to have my kids....."

They all cut deep.All his words.. but it was bitter sweet.

Because for the firsttime in a while, I had closure. No more wishful thinking, no morefighting...just understanding.

"You'reright... I understand...."

S2. W21 Where do we go from here?

2011-05-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

Life is the number one entertainer of all times. I have to give it a round of applause. I don't know how long I have been lying down here. Probably day 3 now I estimate. I haven't looked at my phone but I know its been ringing. Shafa....probably Suni... I wont be surprised to see Ronke's name on that list. Bitch. I turned my face away from the ceiling back to the wall. I had deduced a pattern sequence in my red wall. I could find it again. My phone vibrated again.

What I can't really understand is....why this is breaking my heart so much. I mean. Shafa doesn't have iron running through his veins. His a human being. And like a human being... he's wired to mess up. I'm laying here. I've cried out all my insides. Ive not eaten. I've not showered. I'm putting my life on pause because of something that was....is...inevitable.

But man....it hurts. It really does.

Life MUST go on. Its getting back up that matter right? OK now. I'll get up. And get on. But I'll be damned if I don't learn my lesson this time. First it was to beg him to be serious with me, instead he dashed me rejection and insult. Now he has decided to top that act with fooling around with my cousin. Let it not be said my mother raised an idiot.

It was like drinking cold water after going days without it in the hot sun. Refreshing, energizing.

I rolled out of bed... and went to put myself together.

Work tomorrow is going to be horrendous.

***********************************************************************************

"Suni, please tell me she's called you?"

"Ah Ahn. Shafa she's not picking my calls, but come o. What exactly did you do? Yale is not one to ignore me. This is definitely code red...."

"I fucked up.... I messed up REALLY bad Suni... "

"I quite sure of this fact you've just stated... if it wasn't BAD, Yale would have picked up my call and cried, hell she would've called me first. So this story of you guys are seriously arguing and yada yada yada....its not joining. Speak to me... "

"I'm sure she'll get around to it eventually. But please Suni seriously... you have to try and call her again. I haven't heard from her.... "

"Ohh-hh... I hate to meddle in couple stuff....I have other problems to atte-"

"Suni its been 3 days.... please"

"WHAT?" I could hear her sputter and adjust in her seat "Shafa! And your calling me NOW?? What if something has happened to her... OHHHHH YOU IDIOT... WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOO??" She must've gotten up cause her ranting and raving was clouded by moving furniture and noise.

"Suni... please calm down....the babies..." She was saying something about castration "Suni...? SUNI!"?

"What?? Look I'm going to find Yale. And God save you that she's not OK. Because if shes not.... Haaaaaaaa..."

And she hung up.

Wow.

Well the bright side is, she's definitely going to be calling me back and letting me know Yale's status.

I'm gonna wait.

My phone rang. I picked with the quickness.

"Suni...?"

"No fool, its Ronke."

Shit. I shouldve looked at my phone. "What?"

"Na wa o... so violent. Hello would've been sufficient sha"

"Eff off seems more appropriate"

"Stop being rude, it doesn't suit you."

"Keep being a bitch, it works for you"

Her giggle annoyed me. "Feisty.....anyways, please come and open the door"

"Excuse me?"

"The door... open it."

No way this girl came to my door. "You must be crazy."

"May be... now.. open the door...I need somewhere to put all this food" I had walked to the peep hole. Lo and behold this girl was at my door with a huge tray of food.

"And my house seemed like the best place?"

"Erm I can hear you eh? Open the door jo and stop being a pussy"

"I wont repeat myself. Since you can hear me clearly...." I hung up the phone and decided to speak. "Fuck. OFF!"

I walked back to room. I had to call Suni anyways or text her or something. If Ronke wanted, she could sleep outside. That demon is not entering my house.

***********************************************************************************

Why am I doing this? Yes I'm mad at Shafa....but I have no other reason other than I'm mad at myself...I was obsessed with Shafa. I remember the first day we kissed. He hadn't wanted to. He'd kept on saying it was weird until I kissed him. That had shut him up nicely. I didn't need anyone to tell me that He was into me. I had seen the way he looked at me.And God knows I had been looking at him for a LONG time. He was the perfect guy.... well sort of. Well put together, easy on the eyes.... and adventurous. The whole "affair" was just blood sizzling. I mean, he wasn't dating Yale. They had broken up! So it wasn't like I stole her man. I will never feel guilty for that.

I slumped down on the steps in front of the door. I had come here for a sole purpose today. To sleep with ShafaShafa, because if you knew the REAL truth you'd probably die. This small truth that you're running away from, the sweet truth o. Its not even the bitter one. Me I've had to swallow BOTH. I chose to deal with it in a way that worked for me. I didn't need no one to hold my hand or anything.

It's not that I thought me and Shafa will marry or anything? No! But things got complicated during our... time. I handled business and tried to get back into things but he preferred to be left alone. He realized all of a sudden he loved Yale. He was coming back. All the weekend visits to Miami or rendevouz in differernt cities in between was all of a sudden too costly for him. He wanted Yale. Yale Yale! Ronke was useless now, no need for her anymore. What was I meant to do with my heart? And all the feelings? I knowwwww it was just meant to be ONLY physical but when you have a ba-

My phone rang.
It was Suni.

"Yea?"

"Where is Yale?"

"I dunno..."

"Where are you?"

Ah Ah... 21 questions? "Er... out. Why?"

"You're not home?"

"Suni, What is the problem?"

"I'm looking for Yale. I wanted to come and pick you so we could find her togther"

I've now become detective. Ha! If only she knew.

"That won't be possible, wont be home till much later...I'll call her though?"

"UUUGGHHHH! Fine. Please call her as many times until she picks up. We can't find her. I'm going to her office to check now sha..."

"Ok will do... call me when you find her k."

"K... bye!"

Sto-ory.

I looked at myself.
Here I was sitting down on the steps in front of a man's house. A man who loathed me. I had food, and a lot of.......loving to share. But of course, I will be rejected here too.

Pride is a bastard. But you know what. Love is an even BIGGER bastard.

I reached in my bag and brought out an envelope. This was my plan B. It wasn't really much of a plan, but what the hell. I dropped it in his mailbox. Sooner or later. He'll call me.

I packed my kaya and started heading out. Hopefully I can find a cab.

***********************************************************************************

I had 57 missed calls. Most from Shafa. Suni was obviously looking for me. Her text wasn't very nice. All that stress. With the babies again? I dialed her number.

"Yale. "

"Hey Suni... before you start shouting. Sorry."

"I can't even shout. Shafa has collected that one for you... Yale where are you?"

"At home."

"No you're not. Where's you're car?"

"In the parking lot two streets down."

"What the... why??"

"Cause I don't want anyone to know I'm home."

"You're a first class bofun. Why didn't you call meee???"

"Again I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I'm driving to your place now...open the door."

"Suni, don't bother. I'm terrible company now and ... I really don't want be around anyone but myself. I have TONS of work to catch up on before tomorrow morning."

"Story. Open that door before I get there."

"Suni I'm serious." She must've heard the seriousness in my voice.

"What happened Yale....?"

"I promise I'll tell you. Right now. I just need to work and get back on track."

"Shafa-"

"Please. Don't mention Shafa to me. I don't want to know how he feels, what he's doing or whether or not he is worried. Please."

"Wow....."

"Yes. Now I've got tons of work to do. I promise I'm fine Suni.And I promise I'll be at your house this weekend to talk over ice cream or whatever it is you pregnant women eat."

"I'm worried Yale...."

"I'm not."

"What did he do?"

"Everything."

She sighed deeply. I was hoping she'll get the hint to stop and let it be.
She did.

"I love you."

"Thanks Suni. Love you too. and I promise I'm fine.... or will be sha."

"Ok..."

"Bye"

"Bye"

I hung up and sat staring at my desktop. 75 unopened emails. It's going to be a long night.

A very long one.

***********************************************************************************

I looked through the peep hole. Seemed empty. So I took a step of boldness and opened the door.
She was gone. Thank God.
That girl is crazy I swear. Bringing me food and acting like we are best buddies.
I stepped back in to close the door, but I saw the envelope sticking out of my mailbox.
So I took it.

I looked around one more time before I closed the door. Just in case she was in the bushes.
I swear its possible o!

I opened the envelope. The first was....

"WHAT??" The word burst through my lips.My heart was in my mouth. And it was beating at ridiculously fast.

It was a pregnancy test result. It had Ronke's name.... and it was...positive.

"What the fuck is this??" I turned the paper around because... It was confusing me.

"Nooo It can't be. Ahn ahn...I haven't touched Ronke sinceeee.."

I scrambled looking for the date on this damn thing.

09/03/26.......Nooo....No....No way.... NO WAY.

Ronke and I were doing runs at that time... Nahhhh... I slumped to the floor...the paper and envelope fell from my hand... and another peice of paper.

I picked it up. I was a smaller slip. Looked like a receipt.
Indeed it was. From St. Josephs Health care center, in Miami.....It was a receipt for $400.25.

She had had an abortion.

Shit.

NO.

S2. W20. Somehow they knew

2011-04-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

"I've decided to consider adoption."

He looked at me like i was speaking another language. I kind of felt the same way. I had given myself the same bewildered look when I had said my thoughts out loud to my reflection. I didn't want to but somehow I felt I HAD to. At least think of all options. Whats going to be best for the babies.... Oh yea I hadn't even told Arinze about baby number 2. Should I? Or should I wait for this shock of this conversation to pass?

I'll wait.

"You have to be kidding me Suni." He fell back on the counter like the force of news all of a sudden made his knees weak. "Why?"

I walked around the counter, dropped my bag on it and opened the fridge. A yogurt topped with honey would be divine right now. I started fixing my snack. "I went for the appointment yesterday..." I brought out the yogurt...Arinze seemed to have stocked up on the strawberry and banana flavors. My favorite. Aww...tears stung my eyes. I brought out 4. I know he was waiting for me to continue. I felt his eyes. I started searching for the honey. "Wheres the honey?"

"The one beside the dishes..." He pointed. I followed his fore finger and spotted the cabinet. Viola. I got excited looking at the honey. "So yes...the doctors... was a good visit by the way. Things are great..." I opened the top and started pouring.

"OK...What happened Suni?" He was waiting.

Ah, he wont even give me the opportunity to run a couple rounds around this bushel. Kill Joy. The top of my cup was now a beautiful glassy golden brown. Hmm... granola crumbs? Ahhhhh next time. I dug around for a spoon. OK..I change my mind. Maybe I SHOULD tell him about the babies first, then this adoption talk will make more sense. Yes... Mhmn...

I took a deep breath. "Arinze. The babies are good."

I allowed my sentence to marinate as I stuffed my face with frozen cold yogurt and honey. The taste was orgasmic. A beautiful distraction from the now downloading shock in Arinze's beautiful grey eyes.

"Babies?"

I nodded. Mommy says its bad manners to talk with your mouth full. Hear that kiddos? No talking and eating...

"No way......" I swallowed. The concoction went down slow.

"Yes Arinze, I am having twins." His eyebrows shot up, as if it REALLY now dawned on him what i meant. Since he didn't acknowledge my revelation verbally. I decided to continue speaking. "Hence why I am adoption consideration. I don't know if I can handle two Arinze. I barely could overcome the shock of one and now two..... " I shook my head and inhaled another bite of my goo. It was weirdly comforting.

"Wow...I....I don't even know what to say."

"Say it makes sense and I'm not being selfish."

He shook his head slowly like I was asking for Platinum on a bed of Moon-sand. "Then just say Im crazy and I shouldn't do it." I needed him to support me and reprimand me. I needed him to give me the logic to make a decision that would be the best for babies and I. I needed him to really just take this burden off of me. I was tired, confused and just....hungry. They really should package this ish. Damn.

"Come lets sit and talk...." He stood up and guided me. His hand barely touched my elbow as we walked to the living room. It was as if he was scared to touch me.

We sat down and i took another bite of my food. He watched me.... I ingested and quickly put my mouth to work again.

"Why are you so quick to give them up?" The question was so blatant and so... blunt. It stung. I was rushing to give up my own flesh and blood and the confusion and ....disappointment I saw in Arinze's eyes just killed me. Tears fell into my cup.

"I'm not giving them up.... " He didn't didn't say anything he just kept on staring at me. "I'm not sure Arinze. I'm confused. I'm scared. I can't take care of two kids! I cant...TWINS Arinze. TWO! not one... TWO! What am I meant to do? How am I meant to take care of them. Even if I get a great job day care alone will be horrible. God knows what my parents stance on this will be... I'm just in a ... its the best option I could come up with... I need clarity. Please...." I was choking and shaking by now. My words barely came out but they did and I know he heard them all. He held me close and let me dry it out. I would have given all my money to hear his thoughts.

His silence was calming me but making me so nervous. it hurt. "Please say something..."

He rubbed my back for a moment...."A friend kissed me today."

"What?" the question popped out before the statement was fully processed. "Huh??" How random. What?? I was truly confused. I turned to look at him. "I don't get..."

"A friend of mine.. close friend..kissed me." He was still holding me...I was still confused.

"As in..... like a .... guy?"

He laughed..." I beg o..." his pidgin made me smile a little...

"No...?"

"Nah.. a girl. My best friend slash ex.....times a while..." He took his hands away...and sat forward...then rubbed his face in his palms.

"OK...." I was a bit... what is this? "So.... did you kiss her back? Was it a ...mutual thing?"

He looked me "No.. its was not..its not...Me and Q have been over for years... shes moved on.. I've moved on.. she shocked me today with the stunt and yea... I just wanted to tell you."

"Why....?" was I angry? No.. I wasn't.. I was... just confused! No other way to explain this feeling.

"Because. I want you to know. You're my best friend now. You're closer to me than anyone else in the entire world right now. I want to tell you everything even though you still don't know everything about me. Suni you must know by now that I'm falling in love you. And I want to see this go far... twins, triplets whatever. So I figured maybe I should start telling you everything. Good bad and ugly... I don't know"

My mind had taken break after "love you".

********************************************************************

"Ronke..."

"Oh guilty co-co is eating you right."

"Sure whatever. I need this BS to stop OK. I'm tired. Yea we screwed around but that's done. Its NEVER going to happen again. Geddit?"

Her laughter was insulting. "Ohhhhhh your a boss now. You call shots." She broke into giggles again. "See.... when I am done with YOU.. then we will be done"

I made sure my hiss didn't go unnoticed. "I won't repeat myself."

I hung up before I even got to hear her reply. Not that I gave a shit what it was. I was already dialing.

"Hey babe..."

"Hey baby.... was just thinking about you now. How far?"

"Are you home now...?"

"Before nko..."

I laughed..."K coming over. Don't pick if Ronke calls you.."

"What? Why? What's happening?"

"And don't open the door wither if she shows up randomly...."

"What the hell.. Shafa, whats going on?"

"I'm going to tell you in a bit. See you..."

"Shaf-"

"In a moment o!!! Love you..."

I grabbed my keys and headed out. Time to rip off the band aid.

********************************************************************

This SON OF A DONKEY just hung up the phone on me.

What an idiot. I was so irritated now. I wonder if the dunce is going to tell Yale right now. Or maybe I should? Nahh... let me wait for the fool to put his foot in his mouth. Either ways. I have an upper hand here.

This guy wants to fuck with me. Don't mess with me o. It not I even want the stupid guy....... OK that's a lie. But whatever jo.

I paced my room. One of two things are going to happen.Tonight, tomorrow or in the near future. Shafa is going to call me back. Or Yale is going to call me. I need a game plan for both scenarios.

I got to scheming. Human Resources readings can perch for a moment.

********************************************************************

"Suni... don't give the babies up. I'll take care of you and the babies. I'll marry you."

My mouth went lax. He had my hands in hands now. And he then he went on his knees.

"Arghhh I'm not doing this right but whatever. Marry me Suni...."

This was moving too fast. too quick and it was confusing me. I need to stand....so I stood.

"Arinze...."

"Suni... what do you want me to do."

"No." I would regret this later, but this wasn't right. "No...I won't"

He had stood with me but now he just sat back down... "Oh..."

"I wont marry you now Arinze, but if you're still around after I pop these monsters and we are still cool maybe Ill consider it... so rain check."

Arinze loved me. Yes I was still on that... all this marriage gibberish was just secondary. Marriage ni... covenant ko. Abeg leave those things. Its not like that people marry. It shocked me how clearly I was thinking now. Considering two minutes ago my life was a black cloud with no clear direction. Right now it was clear. This beautiful man in front of me just told me he loves me. All is well in the world.

I felt a weird bump in my tummy. My hand flew to my tummy..."Oh"

"What?" Arinze was by my side... "Come and sit down... what happened?"

bump bump! My baby or babies are kicking... or punching tears stung my eyes. "Arinze they aare kicking!! Or something!!!" I grabbed his hand. And placed it over the place where I felt the kick.

Of course nothing happened.

"They just kicked or punched me twice! Wait....." Nothing.. "Ahhh babiess don't fall my hand... do it again now..."

Arinze was laughing. "I guess they are shy now."

"No!" He wanted to remove his hand but I kept it there. Sitting very still.

And then BUMP! We both saw the little bump on the other side of my tummy!

"Ehennn!!!"

We laughed and waited for another one but I think that was all the entertainment the two were going to give us for the day.

********************************************************************

"Ok tell me whats going on now." Yale didn't even hug or kiss me. I took off my shoes and walked to the fridge. Water.

"Sit." I gestured to the chair in the kitchen. I sat down on the other.

"What is this...."

"Sorry babe. I'm sorry."

"I don't like this kind of nonsense. What happened?"

Band aid Shafa. Band aid. I took a gulp of water. Yale's hands reached for me "I slept with Ronke" her hands froze. I didn't bother looking up to see her face. I wasn't ready for that. Band aid Shafa. I kept going "Not recently though...a long time ago. When we broke up. Ronke and I had a fling. She has been after me for years. And I guess at that time things were just so... fucked up. So yea.. we hooked up. But her crazy's too much for me. It didn't take too long for me to realize that I couldn't handle her wahala. So I called it quits... and weird enough soon after we got back together. I have never believed wholly in nemesis until now. She's been on my case for a while now. And It's been hell Yale." I sucked it up and looked up at her. She was crying.... call me a coward but I looked back down. It was easier to talk that way anyways. "Remember when we at the hospital a while back.. and Ronke came by... ? She took a ride with me...?" I didn't look up to see if she remembered. I'm sure she did..."Well.. things got odd. Bottom line is we fooled around and it was just awkward. I stopped it before it got fatal and got out of there."

"You asked me on a date that night" her voice was cracked. I really didn't need to see her to know she was broken. I could hear it already. Band aid Shafa.

"I needed to prove to myself I was right. Ronke is the fucking devil I swear. I promise you Yale, that has been the last time I've let her come near me!" I reached for her...she pulled back so fast. She was holding her her mouth with one hand and the other held herself. She was crying and I was the cause. I made the love of my life cry. AGAIN. "I'm tired of keeping this. It was eating me up and Ronke wasn't making it better. She was threatening to tell you and she was... I couldn't do that shit anymore. You're going to be my wife Yale... I couldn't have that skeleton hanging in my closet." I could hear her sobs now... and it took everything in me not to try and hold her. I felt like a fool. But this is the band aid feeling. It can only get better from here. No more secrets. "Yale I'm sorry. From the deepest part of my heart. I should NEVER have gotten with Ronke. split up or not. I'm hoping and... using all of my credit with God.... that you'll forgive me. I... Please...."

I reached for her again... this time she stood up...."I-I-ll....I'll like to g-g-o go to bed n-n-now. P-P-Please see yours-s-self o-out." She walked to her room and shut the door.

I'll be damned if I was going anywhere.

I put my head down on the table and prayed.

God... you GATS help me.

********************************************************************

My legs felt like ice blocks. I was numb. I don't even know which blow hurt more. Shafa being with Ronke or Ronke being with Shafa. Either ways I was fatally injured. All this time... Ronke had been following Shafa. And all this time Shafa had been accepting? covering.. what ever the hell he was doing with Ronke.My fiance. Love of my life. And with my cousin. MY COUSIN O! My BABY cousin. Chai.

I should've known though. The way Ronke always was around Shafa and she did all of a sudden become closer to me when Shafa came back to town. My God.... I'm sooo stupid. So this is what betrayal feels like. Shit........ Ronke .... you BITCH!!!! YOU EVIL SLUT!!! My God.... How could Shafa even resist her though. Ronke has always been a stunner and her body.... But man... I trusted you Shafa... so much it never even OCCURED to me... but man I should've known....I remember how quickly he had picked up a random girl before he left for Miami... why wouldn't he have quickly found the next main squeeze? But RONKE?? Like my cousin... that's like my sister... that's my blood....Shafa....kai....

I laid on the bed and cried because for now I couldn't do anything else.

S2. W19 - We need to Talk

2010-11-22T20:44:00.000-08:00

I had booked marked 1 page so far. And that was because I felt I was being too picky. It was called Adonai. I almost didn't find it as it wasn't on the first few pages of the google search term, but somehow for some odd reason I had clicked through 5 ages of google results and somehow Adonai had jumped at me. I loved their slogan. "When there's no where else to go" It was simple but strong. Their website was very simple but I could tell it was professionally done. It wasn't a random person with no experience whatsoever in web design that decided to piece together a site, this was well thought out. Their choice of words, their images...Very marketable.

So far with everything I had read, I was impressed. Felt almost as though there were talking to me specifically. So I had bookmarked it. I was going to marinate on this a bit longer. I needed to anyways.

My bladder started complaining again. These two creatures wont kill me o! Every time they wan wee wee.

I put my laptop to sleep and went to address mother nature.

**********************************************************************************

They wrapped up their conversation with impressive speed. The hug he gave her was cold.
Bros, no need to do like notin dey pop, I see youuu bruh! She kept looking in my direction as he got out of the car. I kept smiling. Then I waved, just so no be say she no see me. She waved back weakly then drove off. Guess she'll be giving me some explanation that I wont be asking for later. Arinze walked towards me.

"AH RIN ZAY! Walahi this boy your something else sha....."

"Hey Shafa..." he looked distraught. I mean I know its rough under the circumstances but the boy is a bloke. I'm sure he can handle himself. I wanted to laugh, but I knew it would come out weird. So I held it in.

"My guy....I dont even know how to address you." He looked pained.

"Nah man its not like th-"

"No no no... no o... I'm not even trying to judge you here. As in, I'm kinda shocked though, you didn't strike me as the playa type."

"I'm not a playa."

I nodded. I guess my disbelief might have been too strong to mask.

"Fuck Shafa, that came out of no where..." Annnnnd the unrequested explanations, part 1 begin. "Q and I are past this..-"

"Q..." my mouth curled down as my eye brows almost touched my scalp in awe. He even has nickname for her...Shuo.

"We're past this , I have NO CLUE why she'll spring this on me now....." he paced up and down and ran his hands over his face before they finally settled on top of his head. The boy was distressed. I walked over to him and hooked my arm around his neck.

"See Arinze, let me share something with you.... cause I like you... your a good guy..." His head remained pointed to the heavens, "These things happen. Lets just thank God in heaven it was me who walked through this door and not Yale... or even worse Suni...So just calllmmm"

"Arrrgghhh!!! FAAAKKK!!!" He ran his hands over his face again. I wondered if he was overreacting. I mean, would he have been this.... dramatic if I didn't catch his playa ass? "Yo I'm so confused right now."

I gave him a minute. Me too, I had my questions so I allowed him time to settle down before I started asking.
He sat down on the curb.

"So.....how do you know..."Q""? I animated my quotation marks because this nickname was worth it mennnn.

"Man we go wayyy back.. known her for almost 7 years now... we dated for a while back when I was in school....shes like family now... THIS IS WHY THIS SHIT IS SO WEIRD.... Like I knew somehow she still had feelings but I thought it was just... one of those things... Like a... a ... soft spot you know..." He looked at me for understanding. I had none to share with him. "We are really close, best of friends....this was... this wasn't meant to happen."

"I see...." More questions brewing, which one to ask... I went straight for the most important. No need to waste time here. "So... you still feeling her?"

"No...." well he didn't waste time answering that. "I mean... I care for her.." Ah..thought too soon. "Like shes always going to be my girl we have a really strong bond, but No... we cant be together.... not the way she wants."

"Arinze, do you like this babe? Straight answer no BS"

"No...." He paused for a moment. "Not that way..."

"Toh then that's its now." There was no point breaking things further down. I mean I was curious to know more about this relationship because somehow it kind of concerned me. I wonder if he knew "Q" was on my jock every second.

"Should I tell Suni..."

"Fuck No. Are you crazy?? Or 18? Dude... Suni is VERY pregnant. If you would like her to give birth to her kid prematurely, sure, give her a heads up that you are lip locking with pretty girls in cars at the back of the building...." I observed the area again..."near garbage dumps"

"Ok Ok... yea for real huh.. I'm just... disoriented ... "

I was 90% convinced with this guys story but.....hmm... "Thats one helluva babe to be immune to though. Shes stunning!" I watched his reaction closely. Choose your next words wisely Arinze...

"Yea....shes smoking, but I know that fire and I know its one I don't wanna dance around. Shes trouble. I love her but damn shes major trouble...."

No Kidding.

His pager beeped. He looked at it. "Shit... I have to go now..."

"Ya yea, for sure...." He started bustling towards the door....then stopped and turned back to me...

"Damn I didn't even ask, Why were you here?"

"Wanted to just holla o, didn't know I'd be walking in on soft porn..."

He cracked a smile... "Abeg Shafa.... " I laughed at his pidgin. "See why don't you drop by my place at around 10 tonight...Ill text you my address..."

"Cool...please no rape all the nurse for inside dia o, I know say you be fine boy but chill small,... allow odas!"

He laughed and went in.

"Q".... I actually laughed OUT loud this time for that one.

**********************************************************************************

"I dont know about that hun... you kind of sprung that on me this afternoon..."

"I'm sooorrrryyy I don't know what I was thinking..."

"Me neither! Plus my boy saw us....that was just freaking awkward it took a miracle to explain to him..."

"Yea.... about that..."

"About what?"

"Your boy....."

"Yea..."

"Ok Ok... I know him. Shafa right? Shafa Johnson...."

"Ya whatever..."

"I'm serious I know him... quite well too...."

My jaw dropped and my had was mid air, frozen with my tea spoon. Shafa had just left and I was getting ready to wind down.

"Please expatiate!"

"Welllllllll, hes ....."

The anticipation was killing me. "Hes ????"

"Ugh... Z .. Ok.. Hes the guy Ive been trying to get."

"Nooo...." I actually had to sit down now. Shafa was the guy Q was chasing like a mad man???? Shittt!

"Yea... I know.. EXTRA awkwardness on this messed up situation please."

"Your shitting me Q, are you serious?"

"I'm so serious............"

The whole series of events replayed in my mind. Shafa coming out of no where, him smiling like a clown, then his weird questions and expressions the whole time he was talking... And then he reallyyy tried to avoid the discussion of this afternoon when he came over no matter how many times I tried to bring it up. No wonder!

"Wooow... Now I get it..."

"Get what?"

"He was very.... understanding?"

"Was he now..."

"Man...this is sumn. You........ and Shafa? Damn...."

"I know right...." We sat in silence for a bit. I was thinking about how webby this situation was....I'm sure Q was thinking the same.

"You know he's madly in love with Yale right? Like those two are like bread and butter....Like you cant..."

"Oh shush. Tell me something I DON'T know... or rather something I WANT to hear...."

"Well...."

"I'm in love with him Arinze what can I do... I'm helpless..."

"Love? Babe, you don't love him...."

"I'm so serious... I mean... I'm so into him right now its crazy. Until I kissed you today, I didn't even know it was this bad."

"My lips reminded you that you were in love with someone else...?"

"Basically..."

We laughed.

"Let him go babe... I'm telling you..." She didnt answer me. "You're better than second hand. You don't deserve to be a side chick."

I heard her voice crack. "I don't get you, I don't get him, I get nothing."

My heart dropped. I hated it when she cried.

"Hun, please don't cry...."

"Yea easy for you to say. Well fuck you all. I'm the looser here anyways. You can go find your pregnant girlfriend and he can go to his whatever girlfriend and I'm just going to go find a fine looking gentleman and get myself laid."

"Jacki-"

"We'll talk later Arinze. Bye."

She clicked off. I was about to call her back when my phone beeped. It was Suni.

"Can you buzz me in please." Ill have to call Jackie later on tonight to make sure she wasn't getting STD's somewhere. I went into the room to get some decent clothes.

**********************************

She looked so adorable. It was almost midnight yet she was in a sunny yellow Big Shirt dress thingy.

"Well hello gorgeous." I stooped to kiss her lips. She smelled so good. I pulled her even closer. "Mmm...."

She giggled. "Arinzee...."

"hmmm?" I had my nose buried in her neck. I nibbled.

"Oh my...." she let me have my fun for a bit before I felt her palms push on my chest. Time up. "Arinze...."

"Ok ok.. Ill stop. Its taking A LOT of strength though"

She giggled then stepped back. She took a deep breath. She had a folder in her hand. and a weird look on her face "We need to talk..."

It has to have been guilt that made my heart drop like someone just caught me cheating.
Someone like Suni...

Shit.

**********************************************************************************

New Message *Ronke: I see you have succeeded in ignoring all my texts Mr Johnson. Its OK, shebi I'm the nuisance now. OK. I wont disturb you again. Me sef I'm tired.

This girl had messaged me non stop since when I told her I'd call her back to reschedule. Me too I don tiya. Like is it by force? Ahn Ahn...

I messaged back. "Whatever Ronke."

This nonsense had to stop. The girl was a dyme but wow...all this "loose change" wasn't worth it !

"You're an asshole Shafa."

Hiiisssss. "Stale gist."

I was fed up of this particular skeleton in my closet that wanted to do pull some Lazarus stunts. She wanted me to sleep with her and God help me I wouldn't mind hitting that but I prefer a peaceful life. Ronke is NOT a hit and run babe. If shes not the one running you better be prepared to become a ho for her. She was a first class nympho. High maintenance one too. I toyed with my phone for a bit. The idea was creeping. I know it was long overdue for me to tell Yale, but man.... this could potentially ruin everything. But its better now than after the wedding right? I mean she KNOWS I love her... Ronke is just..the girl is just the devil. Jesus got my back for that babe....He has to!

Man, I wasn't ready for this yo.
I dropped the phone.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Or maybe I was.....I picked it up and called.

God, Please.

S2. W18 - Sticky.

2010-11-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

So we stood outside the door. Photo in hand... and shock on our faces. I was numb. No.. no... not numb...I was feeling very besides myself. Yale put her arm around me..

"We are blocking the entrance...lets go the car.." Seems she had come through... well then again it would be easy for her to snap back. She doesn't have two human beings growing inside of her. She led me to the car.

"So....." Suni sat there like a statue her hands limp on her laps. "Suni?" I smacked her hand. "SUNI!"

"Yea...?" her response was so slow. She turned to me... "What?"

"Well....?" My eyes asked the rest of the million questions I had in my head. What was she going to do? How was this going to work out? One is overwhelming but two? like two babies..? Ah.

"Yale... you're asking the wrong person"

"Should we call your mom?"

She looked at me like I had just suggested I run her over with the car. "For what?"

"I don't know... she might have some good advice maybe.. maybe.. she'd say bring them to Naija? or I don't know maybe she can come here? I don't know Suni mothers are very... she might have good ideas?" She was just staring at my mouth moving but I knew she heard nothing.

"Nah.. not yet..."

She looked back away. it was obvious she wast going to be doing any thinking anytime soon... my gears starting churning. I guess all those number we played around with that day at Suni's house for how much she'd need to earn yearly to support the kid... well that might just have doubled. I remember how we gisted for hours on food, health, education budgets for baby..(babies?...damn) for the next 3 years. She was very adamant on being married to a rich man by then. I had laughed at her determination. Instead of her to be plotting baby's future she was figuring out gym schedule to get her body back in shape. She proposed that if she managed to keep Arinze through pregnancy, she will lock him down well after. So long he didn't turn out to be a cult member too. She actually hadn't laughed like I did when she said that.We had figured she would need to get a second job. Maybe something online? Or in house? Just so baby could be around her always and she could save money on baby sitting.... We had a plan. I was going to be helping out...and I know Shafa would wanna help out too...........The plan could still work? I would just definitely need to put in more time? But kai.. there's a reason why I'm on all kinds of birth control. Child now? duude...I still think she should tell De' Hadiza. It might just make sense that she take the kids to Naija. The thought didn't sit too comfortably with me. I knew if it was my own kid I probably wont consider it but damn... two kids though?

"Can you please drop my at home..."

Suni's cracked voice broke into my thoughts. She looked tired. I held her hand. "See Suni, I can imagine how your're feeling, but look at it this way..." I paused and waited for her to actually look at me. She did. "What ever your final decision, it will not kill you. You're a very bright woman, you got me... you got Shafa... you got a FOINE ass looking DOCTOR at your beck and call... its not ALL bad. We'd figure something out k...you'll be fine. All of you and your octoplets in there..." I hoped my little joke would make her laugh. She smiled.... that was enough. I started the car and headed to her house. I guess I have to schedule that meeting with my financial adviser.. I had put it off for so long but alas I couldn't avoid it forever. I was going to open a savings account tomorrow... and deposit some comfortable cash in there. Rainy days were in the forecast.

Immediately her car backed out of the drive way. I walked back to my room. The shadows of those quilts were calling my name. I felt so...weak. I could barely handle the thought of one, but No... God is missing me too much in heaven. He is trying to hasten my return journey. TWINS? Like two. Like two diapers, two cries in the night, breast feeding synonymous! Ah! No...I cant.

The journey from the hospital home proved to be a good thinking start on "Whats Suni going to do now". I know Yale was plotting. She was awfully quiet the ride home. But yea, shes going to come back with one outrageous idea of how she expects me to mooch off her till the kids are 20.
The Kids....hew! I am finished.

I sat down on my bed. My phone buzzed. It was probably Arinze. I didn't bother reaching for my bag to get the phone. I laid down...covered my head...and day dreamed on the different times Toba and I frolicked without protection...without cares.... I mean it wasn't a big deal then. I was sure I was going to marry him and all...eventually and...I WAS on birth control...was I? Yea I was...

If I coullddd tuurrnnn... turrnn backkk the hands of timeee....

********************************************************************

She wore red. I remember telling her a couple of years back that red was her "knock em dead" color. She looked like a goddess in anything red. I hopped into the car.

"Did you have a presentation today? Male clients perhaps?" I eyed her outfit. Probably. I answered my own question.

"Sometimes a woman's gotta use more than her brain..."

"Mhmnnn." She had on red heels...which looked painfully high...black skirt suit...red blouse.
She looked good though I wont even lie. "You look good still..."
She smiled at my approval.

"Lunch is on me... I am now a permanent employee.. Probation is OVER."

"Owweee, congratulations... " Q could be flaky sometimes but shes a go getter. "Proud of you"

"Thank you thank you" she did a mini bow with one arm...her eyes still steady on the road."So whats been up lover boy? Hows the 2nd wife..."

I smiled "You? Oh you seem fine....." the slap she landed on my lap, I felt it in my back.

"You got jokes I see..HAR HAR!"We pulled up int Marcel's. Nice classy lounge. Expensive.

"Ahh don't spend all your first official paycheck on me o..."

"Baller's don't know nuffin bout checks..." she stuffed her nose in the air and put on a gangsta face. The girl was a first class clown. For some odd reason it reminded me of Suni, I sent her a quick text. She had an appointment today which I couldn't make. I wonder how that went.

30mins went by fast, but that's how it always is. It took me a year and some but eventually Q and I got to a point of stability. Our conversations could last days and we'd think we were only there for a couple of minutes. We talked about my love life, she talked about hers. Her mind was still entirely set on getting a man she very well knew was taken. Her theory, he aint married? Hes a free man. Times like this I recall why I and her just didn't work out. She was an amazing girl and everything but we didn't see eye to eye on key issues. Commitment, children...Yeah.
We talked about family...work...we caught up for real. I felt relaxed. The girl talks a lot so I don't have to do much. When she notices shes talked for a while, she asks me questions which forces me to talk... she could really hold up a good conversation. So yes our 30minutes went by fast.

"I gotta get back....unlike you, peoples lives depend on my availability..."

She pouted... "I didn't hear a beep" she eyed my beeper on the table

"I cant wait for an emergency to occur sweety..." She waved for the bill.

"So pregnant girlfriend....and you ain' the baby daddy..." She shook her head in unbelief "You ARE something else...."

I laughed ...I had asked my self too why it didn't bother me that Suni was pregnant. I never came up with a solid answer. There's just something about the petite woman that kept me very interested. Q paid for the meal and we packed up to leave...She held my hand. I hugged her...I checked my phone to see if Suni had replied.
...That would be a negative.Hmm...

We rolled up to the back of the clinic and parked.
"Thanks for the lunch.. I now have energy to face those without energy..."

"Aww...." she smiled... then frowned..

"Wassup?"

"Good times are over.... I kinda miss..." she hesitated..."u..us?" My eyebrows rose. "No no.. its...its weird.. like we work you know and I really cant seem to find that ....compatibility again..." I cocked an eyebrow. Hmm.. when she got like this......."I doing all these... " she waved her hand "James Bond like kinda relationships cause, I cant find you again...so I want to be entertained..."

"Q-"

"Arinze, its cool...I'm just talking.. " she gave an uncomfortable laugh.."you're the only one I can tell this too without feeling.. weird."

This is true. She gave a deep sigh.. and held out her hand to me. I took it. "Babe...we...it didnt work. We tried...."

"I know...but a lot of the most successful marriages out there "didnt work"" she gestured the quoatation marks.

"Q-"

"I know...I know.." she cut me off again. "Well gotta get back to the J.o.b." she gave a sad smile. I felt bad that my relationship now was breaking her... still. I pulled her to me for a hug...

We held each other for a couple of minutes. "Ok, dying patients Q...lemme go before you send me to ER with this killer choke-hold." she didnt let up, but i heard her giggle.

"You smell good..." she mumbled into my neck.

"Thank you.. gotta keep it fresh..." I rubbed her back impatiently but she must have thought it to be intimate because she rubbed mine back slowly and squeezed harder. "Your cho....king me."

She let up just a bit and pulled her head back. She smiled. "I miss us....and now more than ever I wish we never gave up." She didn't even let me process the sentence before she kissed me.

Shit.

********************************************************************

Well Well Well...See this fucking guy fa.....

I had come out the back because the hot blond had told me this dude should be back from lunch any minute. I was in the area and thought to holla, seeing as hes going to be part of the clan but this right here... Wow.

I waited for them to finish. He broke off the lip lock with Jazabel.

That girlllll.... and the way she talked to me you'd think I was her soul mate.
I wont even lie, my ego was bruised. Only a little bit though.

And Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why hoe's don't get no love.

He was holding her back now and telling her something. Even from here I could see she wasn't listening. She waved her hand and shrugged. Arinze ran his hand over his head. He looked around...I stepped further into the light so he didn't miss me when he scanned the vicinity. He saw me. I smiled.

Her eyes followed his.

And my smile grew even wider.

S2. W17 - Alternative Options

2010-10-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

I swear I feel my tummy grew overnight. I'm barely over 3 months and I feel like I'm 6 months far along. I struggled to fit into my mini-maternity pants. They were so cute. They were meant to be for mothers between 1 - 3 months. But no not me. I already started missing my pre-preggo frame. My ultrasound appointment was at 9:30 and it was 9:12. I had ONLY just finished putting on these freaking pants. I looked like a pregnant goat. I was SOO showing. Like.. forget XXL sweaters or hobo shirts... my FACE alone was a dead giveaway. Porky.

*Sigh* No time to sulk. I grabbed my keys and dipped. Yale was linking up with me there and we all know how she gets when shes made to wait. We were going to see baby today! She was excited, I was cranky. Tired maybe. But yes... no going late.

*******************************************************

"Arinze!"

"What have I done now?"

"You owe me TIME... we haven't seen since plus I need someone to talk to."

*Sigh*.... "This is true."

"So...I'm coming to your place of work and you are going to take a half hour break and FEED ME!"

"Yes ma'am"

"Oh...." she paused for a minute. "That was easy....?"

"Was it?"

"Hmm.... Ok I'm on my way... Sick person wont die if you leave for 30mins"

I wondered about the sanity of this girl sometimes. "I'll meet you up front"

"Meagan?" I called for my assistant who was meant to be getting some paper work for me...She strutted in. She was very pretty. Sharp kind of beauty. Typical blonde hair and blue eyes. She was very well put together. Never a strand out of place and her makeup was always so...sharp. I won't lie I found it hard to believe she was the owner of the outstanding resume I had reviewed and decided on when she came in for her interview. I remember asking her for her name again and she straight out said "I know hard to believe. Its not the first time." I was embarrassed to say the least, but once I was done with the interview I knew right away she was right for the job. She hasn't disappointed me ever since.

"Mind taking over for about an hour I'm just going to grab a bite. I need you to run my Paul Mitchman, he's in Ward 23. Make sure his pills are NOT under his pillow. Also Mrs. Adelaide would need another requisition put in for an MRI. Please hold off an walk ins till I get back in... either ways my beeper is on so..."

"Ok gotchya...." she jotted down a few more notes and gave me smile. "All under control. boss.. Have fun and be good" She turned around and started walking away. Always on the move. She was also a very private kind of girl which again was opposite to what she looked liked. She kept to herself most of the time and did things n such an orderly fashion a lot of the other nurses didn't have the nerves to disrupt her schedule with idle gossip. For one she didn't oogle me like I was a gift basket. This was very comforting.

I laughed cause she had to be AT LEAST 6 years younger than me...but she had that "motherly" nature about her. "I'll try..."

She paused at the door "Is it with the cutie? Tiny pregnant one?" Well.. I guess she WAS onto the gossip.

"Er... No... " I took off my coat...."Another... friend of mine."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Friend."

"Yes Meagan, friend..." I chuckled at her suspicion and shooed her out. "Now leave. before Paul decides to all in all throw his pills out the window."

She shook her head and left silently. I felt.... guilty? Like I just got caught doing something bad and had disappointed. What the hell?? Ugh. I grabbed my keys as my phone vibrated. I didnt have to look at it to know who was calling me. I left through the back.

*******************************************************

"I'd like to have dinner today..." Ronke. Ronke. Ronke. God deliver me? Kai. Should I just carry the babe to dinner? As much as it might seemingly be the easy solution I KNOW that girl has another trick up her sleeve. Shes going to tie me into another thing. Maybe I should just tell Yale. I mean... Nahhh.. we just got over the telephone issue. Let that one settle first no? I messaged her back.

"I'm kind of busy tonight though...." I played with my phone as I waited for her reply. With Ronke you should expect anything.

"I see....so when would you be free?" Never? *Sigh*.. I see what shes doing. Now shes more or less putting me in the hot seat so whatever happens its almost like it was my call. Such a snake.

"How about lunch tomorrow?" Lets keep it neutral. Daylight....open space.

"Lunch? lol.. er no. I have classes all day. I see your posting me. Tsall good. Whatever"

Ah man... this babe was going to put me on a guilt trip. I am VERY tempted to just delete the message like it never came through. So shes going to tell Yale that I and her screwed a couple of times....but the bottom line is we arent now. we are Over. then Yale can turn on me and call me a coniving decietful nonsense of a man and she'd probably stone me with a ring we dont have yet and tell me to take my proposal to the river and drown with it. Shit.

"Calm down jo...who's posting who? Ok..lets do it this way. I'll call you tomorrow evening and we'd work things out?" I could feel her smile.This girl was evil.

":) Ok....Sounds cool. Have a lovely day. <3"

I have to find a way to tell Yale. I cant live like this. No sir. and the longer I wait the worse its going to get cause Ronke....shes going to infect this so bad. So bad........

*******************************************************

Yale and I stepped out of the ultrasound room. Picture in hand. Lead in our feet. Shock on our faces. Ok... lets rewind. There's a reason we looked like someone just slapped us then handed us $1000 dollars.

I walked into the hospital and yes. Yale was waiting. I was 3 minutes late.

"Sun-"

"EH EH EH. Please....I'm sorry. It OK jo. its only 3mins. Calm down." I sat down beside her. Kicked out my legs and relaxed.

"Fine." She stared at me. "You look pretty today. What happened?"

I stared blankly at her. "Pretty?" then I burst out laughing. "Yale if it is you woke up today to mock me.....abeg..."

"Ok...? Odd way to take a compliment." She gave me an odd look then picked up her blackberry and started typing. We sat in silence for a bit. She was probably talking to Shafa. Us too, we go love now. I adjusted my sitting position because my back started to hurt. She glanced at me. "You ok?"

"Yea, just uncomfortable." I adjusted again until my back was straight up against the back rest.

"You look constipated." I smirked.

"Yale......" she was typing again.

"Mmmnn?" She didnt even look up.

"Am I fa-..." I rephrased "Do I look bigger than the average 3month preggo woman?" I had her attention.

"Suniii....of course not. I can barely see your tummy. Holy your getting preggo woes already? Cammaann....."

I already felt better. "No its just... I feel.... so... HUGE." I pulled up my sweater and exposed my pot belly. "Seeeee"

"Sunniii" she covered my tummy before anyone in the waiting room with us noticed. "You're mad o." She ensured my belly was covered. "And no... you're not huge. However...."

"I AMM huggee right????" Man.. it was all in her eyes. She was surprised by my potbelly.

"Well... I dont see your naked stomach often forgive my awe." I guess that was more of awe than surprise in her eyes. "Soooo cool.. how does it feel?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yale this is not the time. Am I fat or am i fat?"

"You're fine Suni..." she rolled her eyes like I was being ridiculous. I wasnt.

"Er... Aku..Akusuni? Bello?" the nurse called my name. Well appointment time.

"Yay, time to see baby!" We got up and walked.

The ultrasound technician got us prepped all the while chit chatting about nothing. She was a funny small lady. Maybe in her 50's? She asked if we were partners. Yale and I had a good laugh.

"No... shes my best friend..."

"Aww thats so sweet...So excited to see how big your baby's grown?"

"Yup!" sometimes I wondered if Yale was the one having a child. See how she shouted too.

Tech lady squirted the nasty cold jelly. Gross....

As soon as she put the gadget thingy on my tummy. We all gasped. I mean it wasn't like we hadn't seen baby before.... but....erm...ya... er.. there were two heads.

We all peered closer, squinting.

Yup. Two.

"Oh looky here. Twins!"

I must've blacked out.

S2. W16 - Making amends...

2010-07-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

It was 9pm and neither Yale nor Ronke had texted. I kept having weird daymare that they were having some in depth cousin bonding time and Ronke decided to spill her guts to Yale. I had let my curiosity get the best of me. I was in front of Ronke's place. I texted before walking to the door.

"Wassup, what are you girls up to?" I waited.

*grrr* "Yale is sleeping...I'm doing some homework, wassup ditcher?"

I felt some form of relief. "its not even like that now...have you girls eaten?"

"We are not useless, I'm sure we can organize food if we are hungry. What do you want? Time is Grades..chap chap..."

"Can I talk to Yale please?"

"I doubt she wants to speak to you.. and besides, I'm sure I mentioned shes sleeping...?"

"Ronke stop being an ass and hand the phone to my fiance."

She gave a very loud mocking laugh. "Fiance?" she laughed again. "Sorry o.. Mr. Fee-ance!" I heard movement of furniture so I assumed she was standing up to hand over the phone. "You know, Shafa...."

Freaaak what was WRONG with this nutcase?? Why cant she just .... disappear? Ahn Ahn? Dem send you?

"...I think its only healthy that you ensure your path is straight before going as far as shouting to the world about your fee-anceship." I heard a door creak " I'm just saying...." She mustve dropped the phone for a bit because her voice became a bit distant. I'm glad she didn't wait for an answer. Heifer. "Yale...." tap. tap. "Yale...." tap.tap.tap. "Its Shafa..." I heard some grumbling....

"Hey...." Yup. She was STILL mad and NOT ready to talk to me.

"Hey babe" Pause.

"Hey...." I knew how her lips we're curled now. She had that face when she was trying not to hide her irritation. Sucked big time that I was the cause of the stank face now.

"Are we going to talk?"

"Annnndddd we are singing to each other now?" her retort was so fast I had to smile. That's my girl.

"Nah... I ... I'm coming to get you? K?"

"Dont waste your gas, I'm very comfortable where I'm at..."

"Yale-"

"Shafa... please I was sleeping, annndd you woke me up... there had better be an emergency."

"There is..."

"Ok?" I KNOW that was a little concern I heard in her voice. A break through?

"I'm coming to get you..."

"Shafa.. whats the emergency?"

"Us."

**********************************************************************************

We had fallen into a routine. Arinze and I. Every day at 2pm we'd go for lunch. On Thursday nights we'd talk about what we'd do for the weekend, sometimes we'd leave it up in the air. Come Friday, depending on where we land after doing said plans, I might be cooking for him in my kitchen, or in his kitchen. Oh and this man was an AMAZING masseuse. Like.. I don't know if he got them magic hands from med school or it was a natural God given talent, but Gaddaam! I remember a couple of days ago, we had gone to museum? Or somewhere sha and my feet were aching and swollen a bit. I am into my second trimester and the swelling process had begun, the feet cramps which started during our Las Vegas trip had become more frequent. Anyways, I whined like a little girl all the way home feeding MAJORLY off his pampering. When we got to his house, he had come to my side of the car and CARRIED me out... like...lifted me out and CARRIED me... to the door, through the door, to the room, to the bed and placed me down like I had a FRAGILE label plastered across my forehead. He had then went ahead to strip me down... and not even in a sexual way, but in a a very.....tender way...till I was in only underwear. (I was turned on sha, let me not even lie to myself here! But seriously, who wouldn't be... shoot) Then he proceeded to send my feet to HEAVEN...Of course, where my feet go my body must follow. The nostalgic feeling of that massage came rushing back in WAVES over my body. I relaxed.

I remember, after he was done his magic on my body and I was so relaxed, I could barely speak. He'd come around to the side of the bed and snuggled in beside me. He'd put his arms around me, placed his palms on my slightly visible little bump and started talking...about nothing and everything....to me. (And baby sometimes) And that's how we ...or rather I....fell asleep. His voice in my ear, his arms cocooning me, his palms on my belly.. and my spine to his heart...Our chemistry should be in Mills & Boons I swear. The connection I felt with him that day went beyond physical. We haven't been physical just yet...(Hmm, someone needs to give me an award. With my hormones on rampage I strongly believe its a miracle I haven't raped the man...but that's a thought for another day... my blood is already getting hot just thinking about it.)... anyways, I digress...where was I? Ya... I feel Arinze and I, we've kinda gone past that physical stage already.

My leg started to cramp and and I realized I had been standing by the window for too long. I walked or rather limped back to the living room to sit down and wait instead. I had even forgotten about the Naija movie that I had put in... I'll restart it when she comes. Yale was coming by for the weekend. I still felt a bit disappointed I won't lie. I wanted to spend ALL my time with Arinze. , but he was on call all weekend . And he mentioned I hadn't spent time with Yale in a minute, cause he knew I wanted to cancel on her badly. So we compromised on Yale time for Friday & Sat, but I made him promise to take me out on Sunday. I smiled in anticipation. The doorbell intercepted my thoughts. Guess Miss Dairo's here. I took my sweet time before I stood up to open the door. Before I could enjoy my laziness though, she started calling my phone. Such an impatient human being. Hiss. My child better not adopt this stupid trait....

"Suni oh" She was always wasting time, the way she walked to the door you would think she was 9 months preggers.

"Free me abeg jo. Patience is a virtue"

"Oh whatever as if you're a fan of waiting yourself...." I had bought sparkling juice to celebrate our 2 weeks 'no-see'. Since she had come back from Vegas we had only talked on the phone. Arinze had without remorse stolen my best friend. I wasn't pissed, but I was....I guess things change. See, Suni and I have never been in very engulfing relationships at the same time. When I was with Shafa... at first...she was kind of single, causally dating... nothing serious. Then Shafa and I fell off, he moved, I was bitter, I was single the she now hooked up with Toba....then Shafa and I got back together... and then Toba and Suni fell apart....but now.. Shafa and I are quite serious and she's getting equally as serious with Arinze. Bottom line, us both being in very serious relationships at the same time.....with no foreseeable future of one of us coming out...Our own friendship was beginning to dwindle. I wasn't too thrilled about it. And if I know Suni, this hadn't occurred to her yet. She was still in the honeymoon phase with Arinze so I'm sure she was happy to spend all her time with him, but she should not forget that before him, hell before Shafa, it was two of us first.

"I brought wine" I gave a cheesy smile as I held it in the air.

"Is that sparkling juice Ozimeyale?" She took it from my hands and gave it a closer look. I dont blame her the bottle was so dope even I was fooled at first."See this tout fa."

"We be bahd guyz now, Uss ma we gatz pop..." She laughed at my razzness which may I outline was gotten from her. Dont be fooled by Suni's surface tushness. All that ajebo behaviour is a front. The girl is market woman.

We walked back to the living room she went to put our "shacks" in the fridge. I flopped down in front of the TV. Omotola Ojelade was shouting something on the screen and slapping the house girl, or someone like that. Omotola, always slapping someone. Suni said something from the kitchen I didn't quite hear.

"What??" She walked back and came to sit beside me. She had Chips Ahoy on a plate. See why this babe is my bestos? My face lit up!

"I said, today we must to catch up on our Naija movie stash. I have a play list ready to go!" As I reached for a cookie she pulled the plate back. "My friend. Whair har your manners?" (See? Razzobian)

"Suni if I boxxx ur stomach ehnnnn!"

"This biskit will be your demise. See how your body is shaking." I laughed because my hand WAS shaking small.

"Dunce..." I leaned back like I wasn't interested anymore. At that point the girl in the movie, the house girl. Started running. Like seriously bailing and then the action music came on. You know the one where the drums start beating really fast? Yea that one. Omotola was shouting abuses at the girl and chasing her. The girl now fell down. The kind of fall that you can only deem as "Devil's work". Suni and I shouted "Yeeee" at the same time.

We settled into the movie Chip Ahoy in hand. Idle talk in between. We had just finished Part 3 when Suni's phone rang. By her facial expression I knew it was Arinze.

"Hey hottie..." He must've called her something as 'endearing' because she blushed. "Yaa rigghhhhtt, you know Im only trying to catch up" I tuned out their mushy conversation and thought about Shafa. I rubbed my hand over my temporary ring. It was a rubber band, that was knotted (my temporary diamond). Things had been so rough...but they were better now. After Shafa came to get me that day...we had talked....and talked. He apologized for his behaviour, he started telling me about what him and Toba were talking about but I insisted on not knowing. Me sef why do I like headache. We made up and all well.. but something mightveSuni. She was giggling as if I wasn't there. What rudeness!

"Oya its enough nowwww... this is my time."

Suni rolled her eye. I flicked her cheek. "Owwwww"

"Next time you wont roll your eyes at me..." I plucked the phone from her hand.

"Stoppppp-" she was struggling with me... but who's the preggo tired lady amongst us?? Not me... I sprang up and sprinted to the kitchen

"Yo Arinze... you're cool and all but biko can I have some time with my bestos? As in... this your lovage sha..."

He laughed... "Ma bad... ma bad.. Ok I'll talk to you later.. lemme say bye..." Suni had caught up... "Give me the phone..."

"So you can both start another history lesson? Not on my time..." I spoke to both of them... loud enough for Arinze to hear,

"Ok Arinze WE... as in Suni and I...are going to GO now... like OFF the phone? Ya dig?" I heard laughter so I figured he did. "Suni say bye." she was pouting and giving me death looks... "SAY BYE OR I'LL CLICK OFF O"

"Bye babe.. Ill call you after this bug is out of my house."

"Ya ya whatever.. bye Arinze."

We both heard him say bye...I clicked off.

Now we could resume our bonding.

S2. W15. Ignorance is Bliss II

2010-06-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

I didn't call her. Should I have texted? Hopefully she wasn't busy. I rang her bell. What time was it sef? 1 am. Eh she was awake jo. I rang the bell again. My phone also rang at that point. I knew it was Shafa, so I didn't pick. I ignored the call and proceeded to call Ronke. It was creepy standing outside someone's house in the dark at like freaking 1am in the morning. She picked on the 5th ring.

"He-llo?" I guess she was asleep. Not shagging or something gross like that.

"Ronke its Yale, abeg can open your door, I'm outside..."

"Why...?" She must have been fumbling around for a clock because she ranted off..."Dude its flipping 1am!"

"Ehen? Please I'm creeping out here, can you hurry"

"Oh-h-h-h" through her grumbling I heard rustling of sheets. Thank God, she was coming out.

"Sorry... sorry...."

********************************************************************************

My phone rang immediately I hung up. It was Shafa.

"Ronke,Yale is coming to your crib."

"Stale gist."

"See .....don't be..." he trailed off. Oh.... HAHA! he was worried I was going to tattle tale. Expose him.

"Don't be what sweety?" I batted my eyelids, not that he could see how sweet I meant to be.

"I'm serious Ronke, she's mad, and she .... she can do without the extra drama."

"Shafa baby, I might be a trouble maker but I'm not stupid. Contrary to what you might believe, I am not...." I tried to think of the right phrase..."I am not looking to ruin your relationship. I actually want you guys to get together or whatever. What I want from you is very ...different."
I heard a beep coming in. Yale was calling back. "See, I have to go. I wont burn your cable cause that would automatically burn mine. So you can calm down. We'll talk later I hope. Stay sexy" I had reached the door as I clicked off. I opened it. "Spoil my doorbell o"

She bundled inside like something was chasing her. "It sooo scary out there, why don't you guys have street lights or something??" We hugged briefly after she had settled down and I had locked the door again. "Hey.."

"Hiya" I noticed she had an overnight bag. She dropped it on the floor and went to straight the kitchen. Opened the fridge. I trailed lazily after her turning on the lights.

"I see you haven't gone grocery shopping yet." her head was in the fridge, she was moving things around.

"The effects of rats in the house" I thought about Robert and absentmindedly touched my healing eye.

"Ah Ah! Did you fall or something?" Yale was in front of me peering into my face and scrutinizing the eye. It was still a little bit swollen and tender.

"Er.. Kinda..." I moved away from her staring and went to see what I could get for her. "I walked into the wall."

"Genius." The eye wasn't that bad, so when I knew my excuse wasn't too left field because she believed it. I yawned and scratched my butt. "Ew Ronke! Manners....??"

"Is it not my house.. abeg jo...Theres some bread, want scrambled?"

"Eh.. no I guess." She walked to the living room. I shut the fridge and followed her.

"So what's with the late night random visit?" I leaned against the wall of the entrance to the living room. "The random OVERNIGHT planned visit?" I eyed her bag.

She had flopped down on the couch. " Nothing, I just miss you."

I actually burst out laughing. "And Beyonce is my blood sister." She smiled sheepishly.

"I just needed to not be in my house.. and I swear I did miss you. Haven't chilled full out with you in a while and yea..."

"Right Yale.." I walked to her and sat down beside her. "Are you ok at least?" She seemed relieved I didn't ask for details. I wonder how she'd feel that I already knew what she wasn't trying to share.. Eya.

"Yes... thanks... I know you're tired, I'll just crash on the couch.."

"So that your mommy will come and say I'm suffering her child, and then tell me mommy and then I get shit? Hell no.. come and sleep in the room." I hugged her "Whatever it is that's making you run from your house, It'll cool down. They always do..."

She hugged me back, quite tightly. "Thanks so much jo."

"Anytime cuz...Oya... I'm off to bed, wake me if you need anything and PLEASE do not sleep on the couch." I walked back to the room. I knew she wasn't going to come to sleep for a while. I opened my phone to send a text.

"She's fine, cause I know you'd want to know. So.. we can do dinner tomorrow?"

This wasn't black mail I promise.

********************************************************************************

I had to wake up to pee. I must've slept walked, because by the time I thought to act on the urge I was already on the toilet. I didn't notice Arinze was up until I sluggishly walked back to my bed.

"Oh! You're awake..." He was on his laptop in his bed. He smiled.

"Morning."

Why was he awake?? I looked for the night stand clock. It read 6:30am. "Why?" He laughed out loud at my disbelief.

"Work, Routine, Habit"

I walked around to him. Sat on the far end of the bed, near his feet. "That sucks." An unstoppable yawn came through. "Cause sleep, to me, seems so...necesarry for me these days." He was still staring and smiling at me.

"You look pretty" He cocked his head to the side as if to look further. "Adorable."

I blush-laughed. "Ya right" Instinctively I touched my head. My high ponytail was loose. I ran my hand over my face. Wiped mouth just incase I had some sleep drip.

"I'm serious...." He put his laptop down. Moved towards me. I didn't go anywhere. "Your face is stunning." He paused for a second before he touched me. When I didn't move he touched me. "Some serious heart breaking asset you have here hottie." He was close now.

"Thanks" I know I mumbled. It wasn't because I was shy. But because, I know my morning breath IS stunning.

He laughed . "Morning again?" And this time he leaned in MEGA close. Noooo! I slapped my hand to my mouth and mumbled. "Morning" He laughed really hard this time. I loved the way his featured lit up when he laughed hard. Like his eyes crinkled to almost slits and he had these veins that popped out on his neck on the right side......... I smacked him and ran to my bed. Safe distance was needed. He slipped out of his bed absolutely unashamed of his boxer briefs which fit sinfully well. Dark Blue.....mmm.

"Still want to catch some zzz's?"

I still felt groggy even though parts of my body were wide awake now. "Maybe I should...."

"I'll wake you in 2 hours?"

I had already crawled back under the sheets. "Sounds groovy..."

"Alright ...I think I'll go to the gym then." He was digging through his bag.

"K..." I watched him as he got dressed. It wasn't awkward. It was just... comfortable ...appealing. I watched him get ready and he watched me watch him. He kept smiling, like he knew what I was thinking. If this man knew what I was thinking ehn? I smiled back. "I probably should exercise too right?"

"Would be good to start, keep yourself healthy" He was ready in no time. He walked to the side of my bed and sat down. "I'm really happy you came. Even though you're sleeping all the time away!"

"Oh!" I felt hurt, it wasn't my fault I was always tired. "No fair!" He smiled at my petulant grumble.

"Just pulling your legs." He got up and adjusted his joggers "I do hope we get to go out today though."

"We will... " He leaned down and kissed my forehead quickly.

"Rest well hun...Call me if anything" He strolled away before I could think anything of it. I nodded back.

"Please lock the door...." I smiled shyly, we have to safe though!

He laughed.. "Yes madam"

When he left I didn't fall asleep immediately as I thought I would. My mind drifted off though, so I was...kind of sleeping I guess. I remembered the moment when I walked out of the bathroom and noticed Arinze looking at me. I mean Suni this isn't neuroscience. You want the guy, the guy wants you. It is a very black and white situation here. Its not like I'm still attached to Toba or anything. I remembered Toba. I wondered how he was. As much as I tried to hate him, I still felt a pang of worry. I had called him before I left for vegas. Kept the conversation brief, but his attitude was even abrupt. He promised to call me back when I got back in town. He made it clear I should not call him. I had given him major attitude and was like "Why the hell would I be calling YOU?" but I guess he already knew I really would get worried and want to call. Like now....

When baby is born I wonder if he's actually WANT to see her...or if he'd be too scared that his "cult fathers" would know and find me and kidnap me and kill my baby and share my body parts. Like seriously!! What a load of horse doo doo!!

I got restless and turned on my side. I felt a dull pain in my lower abdomen. It felt better when I laid on my side.

I wont collect child support or anything. I'm not a charity case abeg. I thought about if he would want visitation rights. I'd let him see baby as much as he wants. My mind drifted to Arinze. I wonder if he would stick around. The physical tension was growing thicker my second. I bet you it'd be worse when he came back! He seemed to genuinely like me.. and he just got to me. Apart from his "take me now" looks, he was pretty cool. Focused...He was financially comfortable...At least I know I wont starve under his clock....And he's really.... supportive in regards to baby. I don't know.. I really don't want to give it all up and then he'd all of a sudden dip set. But wont that make him really perverted, if he was really only looking to chyke a pregnant woman? No string attached? Just to know that in his life he's done a pregnant woman. Sicko!!! The possibility made me mad! I took a deep breath. Only time will tell. I'll wait it out. See how things go after Vegas. I really need to try and control my hormones. I'm almost at the end of my first trimester and I am all over the place. The simplest things turn me on. Oh God help me o!

My mind drifted to baby as I felt another slight cramp. My hand was already on my belly.My doctors appointment was as soon as we got back. And the need to shop. I was naturally small but yes I was getting the "bump" now. It was a bit more pronounced. I thought about the designs I had been working on in my spare time. I had to pass them off to the tailor soon, before I had no clothes to wear, but in the mean time. Shopping Alert! Which reminded me of Yale... I missed her. I was used to talking to her everyday. I picked up my phone and called.

"God Mother how far?"

"Suni?" Rustling of sheets or whatever. Yes I woke her up. Why should I suffer being awake early alone?
"Heyyy.. are you ok?" He voice changed. Typical Yale, always worrying.

"Yea I'm fine. just lying in bed, craving a man I'm not sure I should have, thinking of my baby daddy's whereabouts, and wanting to shop cause I'm becoming a fat so. Story of my life."

She laughed... "Aww.. pele. How's baby?"

"Fine.. I'm having slight cramps, but I read that's normal."

"Hmm... better let dokita know o..."

"Abeg jo... Its not that serious. How are you?"

"Men... Suni..."

"Ahhh I sense gist. You never fail me...ok spill what happened?"

She laughed again but I could now hear the weirdness..."Shafa and I had a... small argument.."

"Arguments are healthy.."

"I know.. but this one..like ok... Toba called him and they were having whisper talks and I kind of eavesdropped on their convo and I was like all... what's that about-"

"What's what about?"

"Like he said something about helping him settle stuff if he had known before and I was like.. ah ah... caules I wont like Suni I'm a bit uncomfortable...Like what if Shafa is like part of this cult stuff..."

"Oh please...."

"No for real....hes just so dodgy then he got all defensive when I confronted him turning it on me talking smack about eavesdropping, why wont I? Am I stranger that he now has to to take called privately. Like seriously this is my supposed fiance. Any ways... I got mad and left... but you're not here to run to so I'm at Ronkes..."

"Ronke??" I couldn't hide my disbelief. That girl rubbed me the wrong way. I only tolerated her because of Yale... she was just so...wrong.

"Yea... anyway's.... I'm just sad. Abeg hurry and come back so we can do therapy shopping."

I laughed, but I was kind of.. I guess its nothing. "For sure.. We'll be on our way back tomorrow night."

"Mhmmnmmnn.."

I felt a leg cramp..."Yale let me go, I need to walk around, legs cramping from too much sleeping. Abeg before I paralyze finish"

"Ok.. kiss my baby and run your hands over Arinze's chest for me.."

"Ewo! See this adulterer!" We both laughed..."Yale ...we'll talk when I get back but don't sweat it and don't be stubborn k...Shafa's a good guy...."

"Maybe..."

"He is..."

"We'll see...kk bye. Love ya"

"Love ya.."

I sat up and wiggled my toes... my leg cramp started to ease.

********************************************************************************
So that's why she ran to my house? See me thinking she had found my text messages or something. Me sef I can worry sometimes. I walked into the room

"You're awake."

"Yesso, slept like a dog men"

"Mhmnm kicked like one too!'

"Oh shuttup! You kicked me tooo!"

"I made omlettes if your hungry."

"I hope you won't poison me...."

"Haba I can cook now!!"

She started laughing "I know I know...k I'll be out in a bit let me brush at least"

My phone buzzed. Text message from my baby. "Hey ill treat you to dinner another time for real, Today's not a good day." Ha! see this joker.

I sped texted him back "Why?"

"Tied up with many things and if Yale comes back today, I'll be spending the rest of the evening groveling..."

Hmn. This guy wan try me sha. If not because I have Jesus in my life.

"Ok...we'll do it another time."

Patience is a virtue I'm lucky to have.

********************************************************************************

S2. W14. Ex-Factor

2010-05-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

It was a double bed suite. So we weren't FORCED to sleep in the same bed. Which is good you know. Cause you know...ya would've been a bad idea. "That was an amazing evening Arinze!" I know I had already told him that, but just to break the silence, I repeated it.

"Ya it was a good night." He had loosened his bow-tie so he was busy untying his left shoe on one foot. He kicked if off to the side. The other one came shortly after. Well it was safe to say he wasn't the neatest person on earth because he took off the bow-tie and just dropped it on love-seat. He grabbed the remote and plopped down on a bed that I assumed was his since his suitcase was on it and ... ya it was his bed. He patted the space beside him. "Come..." I sat down beside him and he draped his hand over me and continued flipping through guide. "Wanna do a movie?"

"Well if its one to lull me to sleep finally then yes. But then again why pay for something I wont even watch"

"True true. Soccer it is." I laughed because I'm sure he expected a protest or something little did he know I was a little soccer head myself. The game excited me, and even more hot men that got excited by the game so heyy... When I didn't protest he picked up "Oh you like soccer???"

"D'uhh....." He nodded in approval.

I stood up to go find my stuff to get ready to pass out. I could already feel the blanket of fatigue looming over my head. If i didn't prep now I would just fall asleep as is. I had packed VERY normal clothing. T-shirt, sweatpants simple. No bum shorts or extra big tee. I wasn't trying to be sexy here, before they come and say Suni did.... Abeg o! I found my traveling bag and pj's and I headed to the bathroom. You know when you know someone is watching you with the corner of their eye? And the back of your head starts scratching you? E hen? That's how I felt as I entered the bathroom. I wonder if he thinks Ill come out with lingerie or something movie-ish like that. I giggled at the thought of me coming out in red hot lingerie and fluffy cuffs and saying "Ready for me baby!".

"Share the joke?"

My hand flew to my mouth. Was the laugh loud? Oops "Errr nothing..."

**********************************************************************************

My blackberry buzzed. Before I even checked I knew it was Q.

"Dnt. hurt. my. phone."

"Answerr mee!! How.was.it.?.?.?.?.?"

"A.m.a.z.i.n.g.! You shud've been."

"But you refused to take me, ur chasing all the ladies. Im the only that can mke you happyy!! lol"

"Lol! Im sure you are. At least Im not trying to shag my fellow doctor!"

"Ohh low blow..."
"Anyways.....tell me everything!"

"Mannn...Q Im tiyuuurrddd... My hands can barely type"

"Are you busy??? Ewww OMG.. you guys are doing it!!!"

"LMAO! ...if I were doing it, I wouldn't be texting you...."

"Not if shes as skilled as me in holding your attention and I highly doubt that."

"Lol, she seems to have skills..." The tap shut off in the washroom.

"Oh no! You've kissed her?"

"Well...."

"Z!!!"

"HAHA! Relax....... I'm still working my way..."

The door opened and Suni came out. Damn she was fine. She had her hair up in a very high bun.. almost like a unicorn. Her shirt was loose. But I could see the imprint of her nipples. I looked back at her face. She looked so cute. My phone vibrated.

"I think I'm sleep walking." She collapsed face first into her bed. "When would this never ending fatigue sto-oop?" her words were muffled into the bed cause her face was buried in it.

"You'll get used to it.." she raised her head at that point. My phone vibrated again. Her eyes darted to the phone for a split second.

"Used to it. Meaning technically its never going away."

I smiled sheepishly. She dropped her head back into the bed. My phone vibrated again.

"Might be an emergency."

"What?"

She sluggishly sat up and pulled the covers back. "Your BB, it might be an emergency." She crawled under.

"Oh no!" I fiddled with it and clicked a few buttons so the red light would stop blinking. I switched it to silent. I didn't even bother reading Q's rant. "Its just my peoples checking on me. They wanna know how the event went etc..."

She was tucked in with the covers up to her chin. "Awww... how cute. All you crackberriens. Always in touch."

"haha, Its not even like that."

"Mhmmmnn...."

We smiled at each other. The silence crept in again. Its weird. I hated AND liked it.

"What are you thinking?" We were still looking at each other.

"How the silence is weird but nice." She smiled.

"Odd... me too..."

"I guess we are soul mates then. Lets get married."

We both burst out laughing.

She must've fallen asleep when I was in the washroom. Cause when I came out, she was passed out. She hadn't moved an inch from the position she crashed in. Blanket was still at her chin. I tiptoed to my bed, not that I thought the sound of my feet on the carpeted floor would wake her. I saw my phone blinking again. I finally decided to read what drama queen was saying.

"Don't work on anything. Make sure shes clean."

"I cant believe I haven't met this girl!"

"What does she look like? Is she as cute as moi? ;)"

"You're ignoring me right?"

"Stop ignoring meeeeeeee"

"Z!!"

"Z!!!"

"ARINZE CHUKWUEMEKA THOMAS NDANI!"

"Fine don't answer me :("

"I'm going to bed!"

"DON'T MSG ME! I'M BUSY!"

I just had to smile. What in the world...

"Relax tho! I'm here....;)"

"Was in the washroom."

I knew she had seen my msg. It had the little "r" beside it. I crawled into bed and waited for her to answer me. She will. She always does.

"Stupid boy. I said I'm busy."

"Right...."

"I'm serious..."

"I'm sure you can squeeze 5mins to talk to your favorite boy"

"Ya right, but you cant find 1 minuted to answer me. Z, I'm going to bed now."

"Ok ok ok, sorrryyyyyy..."

"Get losttt."

"Honey...Sugar....Tulip.....Sexxyyy mami....smile for meeeee"

"Lol...shhh your messing up my front"

"K im sorry for real. Wassup with you tho?"

"Now u wanna kno.Oh by the way ur mom, she said call her asap."

"Oh you talked to her? Shoot I should call her... whats happening?"

"You not calling her is wats happening. Her car broke down again."

"Man, I told her to get that car to the garage."

"Z, shes not gonna be running to any garage you kno this. She wants you to help her. and you should.. anyways that aside, call her. Oh guess who I ran into at your moms?"

"Please don't tell me Aunty Felicia was there again??"

"Yupppppp and she was DRUNNKKKKK! Beyond words... gosh I wish you were there to see it. Tooo funny."

"She needs help!"

"No kidding....."

"Hows your lover boy?"

"*rolls eyes* Hes not mine ......yet Lol!"

"Q I have told you to leave the boy alone.He's got a girl."

"I know... but hes sooo finneee...."

"And so are you...Look, I have a couple of friends..."

"Dude.. the last time you tried to hook me up with one of your "Doctor" friends things didnt jump off!"

"Soo Tony was a bad idea..."

"VERY BAD! Ewww.. The thought alone..."

"He's rich...."

"Money cant buy my love."

"Mhmn..."

"How about Shane, the pediatrician?"

"Fire head?"

"Lol...yea the red head. Hes cute no?"

"LOL... Thank God you are not a female. I would've committed suicide from your taste. ER NO! Next!"

"Brandon? Jamaican Nurse?"

"HAHAH your killing me. Me no wan no dread"

"Lol.. you got jokes...."

"Lol"

"Ill find someone. Whos SINGLE."

"Sure buddy. Lol, but until then Im going to get my man."

"Hes not urs Q"

"Oh, just gimme time."

It frustrated me she was trying to break a relationship for selfish reasons. I mean, shes an amazing girl. With exceptional features.She really didn't have to resort to stealing another woman's man.I stifled a yawn. I looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 2:30am. Man I really need to sleep. I wonder what Suni would wanna do tomorrow. I had a couple of phone meetings in the morning, but we were free right after. I should take her to a movie or something. Hell I haven't been in a theater myself for a while. Last time I went was with Q.

"K Im gonna go to bed..."

"Hope its a different one from heifer."

"Dont call her that."

"Wateva!! *sulk*"

"Why cant I move on like you? I cant find another guy that's better than you. They all fall short. MISERABLY"

Damn. I hated it when she got like this. "You will....I promise."

"Dont make promises you cant keep." I had nothing to say to that.

"Sweet dreams babe. Love you."

"Love u too hun, would call you soon."

"Right. "
"Call your moms."

"For sure."

"Nite. xx"

"xx"

**********************************************************************************

My phone rang. Jackie's name showed up.

"Hey wassup?"

"Im bored wanna go grab a drink?"

"Er.....not really."

"Please I'll buy"

I looked at my watch it was 12:30. Yale wasnt back from "grabbing her stuff". I hadn't called her yet cause I know she was pissed off. But so was I. I was going to wait till 1 to call her and find out if she was coming back.

"Nah I cant tonight Jackie. I'm kinda tied up here. Rain check?"

"Poowee....." she paused for a bit. "Hows Yale?"

"Shes fine....shes fine."

"Ok, see you at work tomorrow then."

"Ok...Nite.. I owe you."

"Mhmmn.."

Where was Yale ? I called her. She picked on the first ring. "You coming back?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't wanna" She sounded detached. I hated when she did that.

"Look Im sorry for snapping at you."

"Its cool, I eavesdropped, I shouldn't have. My bad."

"Can you come back?"

"Shafa, I don't want to. I wont be good company anyways. My moods already left field. I'll come by tomorrow."

"Where are you?"

"Er....on my way to Ronke's"

"For what?" My voice rose a bit. I don't know why.

"Cause I don't wanna stay home alone. Suni's not here."

"Then come here... babe I'm sorry for real."

She sighed. Normally that meant she was coming around. I guess not this time.

"Tomorrow. K I'm there. Would holla later. Love you."

Shit. "Babe..." but she had already dropped.

God knows what trouble Ronke is gonna start this night.

S2 W13. Moving On...

2010-05-11T01:42:00.000-07:00

He had fallen asleep on my shoulder. His head was quiet heavy sha.... I peered out the window and tried to make sense of the abstract jumble of clouds. I could see....a pointing hand. Towards... VEGAS! Ha!! I laughed... it must have been out loud because Arinze stirred. Oops. I swear it was before I realized it, but I had reached to stroke his head...Immediately I realized... I stopped. My hand fell back down to my belly. It was hard and I swear bigger than it was...before. It still shocked me sometimes that I was a mother to be. Sometimes I would wake up forgetting that I was pregnant. I really wonder what she would look like. I'm so sure baby's a she. Call it "mother intuition". The air hostess walked down our aisle, I had noticed her preying eyes when we entered the plane ...2-3 hours ago? But I ensured that burning feeling of jealousy was repressed because Arinze was NOT my man. But it does make me burst with pride that he hadn't even given her a second glance. Haha.

A pang of hunger hit me. I stared down at the tray in front of me which already held about 3 packets of nuts. I hated nuts. But gaddamit these ones were divine. and they were keeping my growling tummy in check. I waved to the wanton hostess.

Did this heifer just ignore me? She walked in the opposite direction. What a trick! hiss.... I dipped my finger into the empty packet and swiped for the salty residue on the inside of the wrapper. Mmmmnn..so sweet.

Arinze stirred and woke up. "Hungry?" He stretched....and I mean, its not like I was watching for it or anything but the crisp white shirt and the whole muscle pushing against. It was quite... sexy. I looked back at his face as I licked the rest of the salt off my fore finger.

"Your hostess groupie won't answer me." I faked a baby pout. "I'm reaaaallllllyyyyy hungry"

He laughed..."My groupie eh..."

"No kidding ... I'm sure if you just breathe in her direction she would come"

"Is everything ok Sir? Would you like a drink?" Ah ah... I didn't even know when she crept up behind us. Arinze laughed again.

He put on a charming smile. "Yes please and can you get us a couple more of the peanuts?"

"Yes sir" She pasted her "come hither" smile. She had really nice teeth though. I got to give her that one.

I spoke up "Thanks" as she walked to attend to our request. She didn't even acknowledge me. "I really should carry you around if I want swift service." I nudged him with my elbow and dropped the cleaned out packet back on the tray.

"I'll be happy to oblige" he was still smiling to himself as he rubbed his eyes off sleep. He squinted and looked at me sideways. Cause his eyes are gray it was almost as if he had no eyes... "Are you OK though?"

"Me?" I looked away and adjusted my seating position. "Im great...! While you were in dreamland I was relaxing and watching a movie..."

"Oh which one?" He looked at my screen but it was showing the flight route. I looked too. Seems like we had another hour to go.

"Princess and the Frog"

"Are you kidding me?" He seemed amused.

"What's wrong? Its an AWESOME movie thoughh" Cartoons are the business, Disney cartoons for that matter.

He laughed again "Your a character..."

For the rest of the flight we sat and had idle talk. We tuned in to transformers 2 on his screen and sort of kind of watched. He let me eat most of the peanuts but I tried to share. I noticed very little things about him. How his ears shifted back a bit when he laughed or opened his eyes real hard. Or that he had a vein that popped out, only a bit though, not in a freakishly gross manner. A vein popped out on his temple when he cocked his eyebrow. Which he did often, which every time he did, I just wanted to......sigh.

He spoke so highly of his family too. He had a younger brother,by only 11 months. They were practically twins. Everything he spoke about somehow tied back to Ike. He called him Ike. Like.. Aike Not... EYE-Kay, Not...E-Kay. It made me wonder how long he had been away from Nigeria.

"We moved here when I was 2years old. Went back home a couple of times... but haven't been back home for years now.........."

"No kidding, you call your brother Aike."

"But that's his name ...."

"EYE Kay.... E Kay!! You're saying Aike. Oyinbo pepe!" I grabbed the last peanut from the last bag.

"Abeg leave me joo" I cracked up even harder cause the way he said it just sounded wrong!

Arinze was very likable. Charming is the word actually. So the brother isn't African to the core, but it would be fun hearing him try. He told me about the conference we were heading too, he let me know I wasn't obligated to follow him to all the boring talks and if I wanted to just chill in the hotel or go shopping or whatever I was free too. He seemed excited about speaking at the congress. He was going to be the youngest doctor to speak this year and he was focusing his speech on the importance of continuing research on final thesis'. Basically encouraging doctors to further their final thesis and not just leave it hanging. I didn't care one bit for all this medical jargon. I just enjoyed the way he spoke. Enjoyed the excitement on his face when he spoke about what he ...spoke about. So I just... listened? I think he was smart enough to know not to ask me any quizzing questions about what he just said.

"It's going to be fun... and we get to go out on Friday night..." I saw he seemed to watch me closer to see if I would be excited for going out in Vegas, maybe he was trying to understand my personality.

"Hmmm... Dokita... I don't know if it's responsible for you to go out in Vegas.. cause you know.... What happens in Vegas..."

"Sooooo you're not the going out kind?"

"I go out every now and then, but Ive heard gory stories of nights in Vegas... dude haven't you watched Hangover?" I was gauging him too, was he the kind of guy who wanted to go out but never did, or was he asking only because he thought I'd be interested?

"Haha, I'm responsible, but I think we can both have some fun... So...We'll see though... Just make sure you have a great time!"

The pilot announced our decent into McCarran International.

Ugh, I hate this part. I held on tight to handle and closed my eyes.

I felt Arinze's hand cover mine. And I smiled, without opening my eyes... I already felt better.

***********************************************************************************

"Have you spoken to Toba lately?" I was flipping through a bridal magazine. Shafa was on his laptop. TV was on CNN, but it was on mute. I hate watching CNN with sound. I think the images are loud enough most times.

"Nah... why?"

"I dunno, you guys seemed to be a lot closer before"

"Yea man...." he stopped typing for a bit. "Hard to believe this Suni drama thing paused things."

"For real? That was the cause eh?"

"Ya.... he's recluse now I swear, doesn't talk to nobody."

"Messed up situation I find, the guy was always... I dunno... "

"Man he's my boy no doubt, but kai.... bro needs to get his shit together. I hope he pulls through though....I should call him" He had already pulled out his phone. I smiled... men had weird relationships. I bookmarked the page of this gown I saw. Not the best Ive seen so far, but it was cheaper.......

"Toba how far now... na Shafa." he stretched and put his hand behind his head. "My guy I never hear from you, 2 months almost reach, hope say they never kidnap you sha?" He laughed at whatever it was Toba said. "No now... I been tink say you too busy for boys now..." He laughed again. They chit chatted for another five minutes about nothing. I had actually started to tune out.

"Wetin?" Shafa sat up a bit. "Get the fuckoutta here... You're lying?" He looked a t me for a split second then stood up..."Yo, are you sure?" He gave me the "gimme a minute" finger and walked towards the bedroom saying "Mhmm...mhmm". What was THAT about? I was tempted to walk after him and eaves drop when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Guess who's soaking in a scented bubble bath?"

I laughed "You're not serious, is it nonsense soapy water you want to use to make me jealous?"

"We landed safely o, just wanted to let you know...."

"Thanks.....Hope the doctor is TREATING you well." I put well known emphasis on the treating.

"Ya, I'm feeling HEALED already!" we both laughed at our corniness. "Hows the fiance?"

Believe it or not, I blushed. "Hes fine... talking to-" I paused before finishing. For some reason, I didn't think divulging that information was necessary "-someone on the phone"

"Eya greet him o, and tell him to ensure that you don't make me wear an ugly dress as chief's bridesmaid. Its one thing that I'll be heavily pregnant, its another that you'd make me look schupid!"

"Habbbaa Suni.... I gatchur back men!"

She mentioned she had to round up and start getting ready for the conference thingy they were there for. We said our goodbyes and I clicked off. Shafa was still in the room. I could hear his voice. Whispering, but still audible. I tiptoed to the door.

"...fit say na before you talk this thing, we for settle am." He paused to listen. I did the same. "Well just keep me posted for real. Yo let me dip...the wifey would start looking for me." Pause. Laugh. "Thanks men... Thanks...Aii... take care. Aii.. Bye".

I folded my hand and waited for him to open the door. He did and was startled. Good.

"Hows he?" I pasted on a smile on my face.

"He's fine.... were you standing here the whole time?"

"Why? Secret talks?"

"Nah, its just.. why would you be eavesdropping?"

"Why would you be having private conversations...."

"Ok, we are answering questions with questions now ba..." He slipped his phone back in his pocket and walked around me back into the living room. I followed him.

"So what's to settle?"

"What?"

"What. Is. To. Settle?" Maybe enunciating each word would bring clarity to the question. He stared back at me. I could tell he was getting mad cause his upper lip twitched.

"Yale... for real. Its one thing that you're creeping to listen to my conversations like a freaking spy its another to start hustling me over it." He glared at me then turned to the TV.

I didn't say anymore for a bit. I sat back down and stared at him until he got uncomfortable.
"When your eye starts to pain you will look away" He got up and walked to the kitchen. I followed him.
"Yale what?"

"What are you hiding from me Shafa?"

"Nothing...Toba and I were just catching up."

"Then whats there to settle? I heard you."

"Next time you want to eavesdrop do it well and not half assed then start making a whole drama out of the whole thing. He says he's trying to lock down some deals with some marketing firms and his creative lead messed up. He's in a bind. Ok?"

I didn't believe him. And I know he knew this. "Ok." I walked back to the living room to pack my magazine and my keys.

"Need to run by my house to grab my stuff, would be back soon. Need anything?"

"No."

"Later then..."

***********************************************************************************

"You were amazinggg!!" I hugged him again as we got into the cab.

"Eh...." he joking brushed imaginary dirt off his shoulder. we both laughed. He told the driver the address of the hotel and we started making our way back.

"I had fun!"

"Really? It wasn't too .....doctory for you?"

"What cause I'm a designer you think I'm too dumb to grasp medical concepts." In my case, that WAS the case, but that was not the case now.

"Noooo... alright, I'm glad you had fun for real. What do you want to do now though?"

"SLEEP!" I was soooo tired. I really hoped he hadn't want to go out.."Did you want to go out?"

"No no... Im pretty tired myself... Kinda hungry though, would you mind if I order take out? nothing puts you off yet right?" He meant appetite wise. I hadn't encountered anything yet. I was just a gredger now. I remember the peanuts from the plane. Ugh... should have packed some when we left.

"Nahhh...."

He draped his arm around me and we enjoyed the strip. we were quiet for a while then he asked.

"You never really talk about the father...." I tensed a bit and he must have felt it...he squeezed my shoulder "I'm just wondering why?"

"He's nothing to talk about."

He didn't reply for a bit. "You guys dated?"

I know he didn't mean it in a rude way, but I was insulted. "You think I would just sleep with a random man?"

"No....." he squeezed my shoulder again "Sorry."

We said nothing for the rest of the ride to the hotel. When the driver dropped us I turned to Arinze. "Can we walk a bit?"

He looked tired..."Sure...are you ok to walk though?"

"Yes Doctor." I smiled. We started. People around were either drunk or...getting there. There were a bunch of adolescents yelling on the other side of the streets. The streets were alive and bright. I slipped my hands into his."We dated for 6 months. He proposed...I got pregnant...he told me to get rid of it...we ended." I wanted this short version to be enough information for him. I knew it wouldn't but ....I just wished anyways.

"Why did he want you to get rid of it..."

"You wouldn't believe.. hell I didn't myself."

"Try me..."

"He was a part of a cult... secret society... said my baby was for the,"

"No wayyyyyy"

"Yes way.....freaky huh?"

"He was for real?"

"Yup."

"Wow..............." He pulled me closer and we walked a bit more...after a while we decided to start making our way back "Did you love him?" another question thrown out at a random time.

"I love my baby more."

"So Yes."

"I'm beginning to realize that wasn't love Arinze."

He didn't say anything to that...and I didn't feel the need to...keep on talking. So for the rest of the walk back to the hotel. We just... walked.

It was beautiful out here.

***********************************************************************************

"So you want to marry you wont tell me?" Ronke sounded hurt.

"What in the world, how did you know??"

"Am I not a professional gist finder. Abegi....that's not the point!"

"Wow... you never cease to amaze me sha.. but for real, Who told you?"

"Look forget that one.. Am I going to be on the train? I better be o, if not I wont feature your wedding on my blog."

"Ohhh blogger queen do not deny me off that privilege" Sarcasm always worked with Ronke.

"Ediiiaatt! So Shafa finally stopped deceiving himself and decided to propose. Wondersssss...."

"Ill take that as a congratulations. Thanks?"

"You are welcome sha. Anyways I'm happy for you."

"Thanks...and eya you'll be on the train for sure..."

"Cool...."

"Ronke...?"

"Yea?"

"Can you wait for me to tell the fam before you start spreading the news.. cause you know how you are now..." I could literally HEAR her roll her eyes.

"Yea yea... so you're sure Shafa is the one...?"

"Ah ahn what kind of question is that of course I'm sure...."

"I'm just wondering now... cause remember how he did before now... leaving like that. God knows if he'll get cold feet again."

O...k? "Im sure about him.. and I believe he's sure about me if not he shouldn't have asked."

"True True... anyways you've caught a good one o... yaaayy!!! One of us is getting HOOKED! Cant wait for preparations to start.. have you chosen colors?"

I laughed cause her excitement was contagious. Mine kicked in automatically. "Nooo.. shit is the hardest thing! Will be doing soo soon enough."

"When's the date sef?"

"Er.... we haven't picked a date, but probably in a couple of months... 4 - 6?"

"Ok o.. sha Im coming by your place later this weekend we shall gist and prep well. Make sure of my connections!"

"Sure sure... kk take care ."

That. That was awkward ....what? Anyways sha....

***********************************************************************************

Well Ronkus baby. You heard your cousin. 4 to 6 months. I'm sure you can clear your head by then. I dialed Shafa's number.

"Hello?"

"Shafa....? Oh sorry meant to dial someone else. How far?"

"Ronke?" I mhmned back. "Oh...ok that's cool. I'm fine..."

"Alrighty, later."

I clicked off. I just needed to hear his voice.

***********************************************************************************

It went bad. Bad in the sense good results weren't going to come out of this visit. if ti wasn't cut short. They wanted Suni, I claimed we had ended it SINCE. They didn't believe. Dad managed however to convince them that if Suni was the one then he would have known. He mentioned to me later this would be thoroughly questioned and might drag on. He suggested we make our way back home where things were better controlled. That was the decision.. Dad and I were going go back to Nigeria. Besides, he said, He never wanted to die or get buried in this foreign land. And he was sure his time was near.

For safety reasons I can't contact Suni, or Yale, as those two are inseparable. Shafa is a no no too as his mind has been turned by Yale...Ah wells. It was all for the best anyways. This was for the best. I'm so sorry Suni baby. I'm........I wish this wasn't the case with us. You deserved better. I hope you get better.

I thought of how my unborn child would look. If it would have any of my features. I hoped not.

I wondered if Suni would miss me. If she would even notice I was gone. I hoped even harder that that won't be the case.

This is for the best Toba, this is THE best solution. Dad and I would leave this weekend.

S2 W12. Guilty Pleasures

2010-04-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Excerpt via BetaBabe author of "Scribes from underneath the Sheets"

".............What you guys don't seem to understand is that me and BetaButta's relationship cant ever really just.. go away. We literally have to NOT see each other for that to happen. We are forever bound in our physical attraction. That being said... Not seeing each other is quite impossible. The situation is tres sticky.

The thing about undercover loving is that it has to stay underneath the covers... sometimes it gets too explosive to remain there you know.. *giggle*.I know he loves his girl and hell I'll love my man when I find him, but we both know what we got going on beneath those silk sheets can NEVER be replaced... everything that comes after would be...... second to this.

He knows this. I know this. We're good. ..............."

***************************************************************************

"Suni....." I know It was late, she was pregnant, I was excited, she was tired, but WHO CARES! I had to share. "Akusuni Bello Wake the HELL Up!!"

"Yale I swear to God...."

"Sure sure... Guess whatttttt??"

"You're about to jump into the river for waking me up?" a hint of glee laced her groggy voice.

"You wish... Shafa proposed." I hear her sit up.

"Shut. Up!"

"Ne.Ver.!" I broke into giggles. I was giddy with love men.

"When howw????"

"Yo Suni... Shafa is just.. toooo maaaddd. He like coooked forrr meee " I went on my air head relation of how his proposal went.

"Wow.... that's mega cuteee..." I could hear her sigh..."So-ooo how big is the rock?"

"Rock ke? He proposed with MOUTH.. "

"Ah see error..."

"No now..." I laughed again relaying my reaction when I realized I was ring-less "He wants me to pick my ring"

"Awwwwwwwwwww" Suni was silent for a bit....I took that as her being too tired to be as happy and excited as I wanted her to be...

"Ok I know you're tired so Ill come and scream at you in the morning besides we have to like get to work on plans for wedding.... oh wait..." I was really jumping the gun. "We haven't picked a date... ah wells we can still fantasize and get a head start!'

"Yale....."

"Yeah...?"

"Im soo happy for you!" I voice cracked.. like she was about to cry. Uh-oh....

"Wo... are you going to go emotional on me?"

"Its just..." yeaup...! She was!! the sniffle came in...

"Suni... seriously?"

"No no... its just... you're doing this right...."

"Oh God..." I felt a guilt trip speech coming up.

"No really.... I'm really glad this is how its going you and Shafa are perfect together....and its just... right... Im happy...."

I waited cause I knew this spiel wasn't over.... I didn't want her getting mushy and all emotional over this and I know with what had happened... maybe I shouldn't have told her.. not like this anyways...

"I ..." she must have reached for a Kleenex or something cause she blew her nose. "Im off to Vegas with Arinze for a conference"

"Oh..." It was a question.

"Ya.... he asked me.. I said ya...Toba also wants me out of town this weekend... says its unsafe. I guess I'm killing two birds with one stone.... "

"Suni... are you sure?" Cause I felt like she wasn't and she was just..

"No not really... but I'm scared for baby I wont lie. I don't entirely believe him but I somehow don't wanna take risks and I WOULD like to spend some time away and if it happens to be around a certain good looking doctor.... this is win-win for me...."

"Aww Suni..."

"Yea..." she stifled a yawn... and that seemed to snap her out of something."Well. That's that... so can I sleep now and you can bore my life with wedding details in the morning?"

"Of course of course...." I was concerned... I reached for my laptop anyways...

"And Yale?"

"Huuuh...?" I opened Google and started typing "w.e.d.d.i.n.g-

"Please don't spend the next 3 hours googling details for wedding and wedding dresses. Do sleep..."

She said it so... nonchalantly I laughed... the girl knew me quite well...I continued " _.c.o.l.o.r.s"

"Fineeee.. just 1 hour...."

"Eh na you sabi.. night ... love you. And... congrats!"

"Thanks girl....Love ya... Byee" The search results that come up made me giddy. I was already loving coral.

**********************************************************************************

I drove her back home. Because as much as I wasn't her biggest fan I still had a heart. It was 3am in the morning and I'm a nice guy. I pulled to a stop in front of her house. She didn't get out.

"I'm sorry I'm being weirdly obsessed with getting back with-"

"Ronke its cool... "

"I just that I think-"

"-you should let sleeping dogs lie." I turned to look at her. "Ronke, I'm getting married. We wont ever work. Ever. Don't think too much on ....what happened."

She stared at me for a minute as if trying to figure out if I was joking or something. I held her gaze and ensured what she saw in my eyes was not uncertainty.

She make a "cluck" sound with her throat. People do that when they don't want to say you're wrong or when they're going to prove you wrong."Thanks for the ride... and the support" she opened the door. Then paused again. "Are you going to tell Yale about us?" she didn't wait for me to answer "I mean..about everything...." She wasn't looking at me when she asked, she just had her head turned back a bit while her foot was out the door. As though my answer wasn't relevant but just to satisfy her curiosity she waited.

"She already knows..." I lied.

Again she didn't answer immediately. Then she said "Interesting." and stepped out of the car. She shut the door. It wasn't a slam but it was just as effective. I watched her walk to her door. She was barefoot with her shes in her right hand. I didn't however miss the brief look around she had. She was still scared. I got out of the car and jogged to her side. "Just in case douche-bag is still around"

She smiled. "You don't have to. I'll be fine. I think he's gone anyways... He knows I'll castrate him if he hangs around."

"Sure.." but I still walked with her. She dug in her purse for the keys while her shoes barely balanced under her armpits. once she found them she opened the door and paused for a bit before entering. She looked at me.

"Thanks, He's gone... I'm fine...Really"

I peered into the dark house. I wasn't.... convinced. "Where's your phone?"

I walked into the house anyways and turned on the lights scanning the place. Yea it was empty.

"Here..." she waved it in my face as if I was blind.

"And your house mate?"

"Went to her boyfriends..." She was staring at me checking out the place. She had a smirk on her face. The swelling on her eye was already down.. but it was still bruised.

"You're gonna have to do something with your eye. " She nodded but still watched me. I guess I better cut before what transpired at my spot repeats itself. "Ok...." I walked back to the door... "Lock it after me ..."

"Yes tDaddy" she said in a mock "ho to Pimp" tone.

"You're not serious..." I laughed..."K later..."

"Bye..." It was a whisper. She shut the door after me and I waited to hear the click.

Click.

**********************************************************************************
**********************************************************************************

I sat across from my father. He looked worse. The cancer, that he only just let me in on how far along it was, was reducing him to bones . The chemo was obviously failing.

"You don't look healthy" I had to smile cause this was a case of pot calling kettle black.

"Dadi, they are around"

"I know. Shode called." Shode was my fathers best friend. They both held prestigious positions in the group. One of the few pairs of friends that actually remained friends and hadn't killed themselves from jealousy or greed. He adjusted in his wheel chair then attempted to swivel around so he wasn't facing me directly. He seemed weak. I wanted to get up and help him but I know my father. He detests being treated like an invalid. So I watched him. "Jo, help me turn this chair?" he said very gruffly. I complied.

I went back to my seat across the table. "They must know about Suni's pregnancy."

My father laughed. "And you think this because?" He was watching me closely.

"Well... they always know these things right?"

He had agreed to sit and talk with me. I wanted to find out if he would advice me on how to solve this issue. I however didn't trust him enough to let him know how deep my feelings for Suni ran. Even though I had the inkling that he already knew.

"My son... you need to relax yourself."

"Any why is that?" my voice rose a bit out of irritation. I relaxed. "I dont understand"

"You overestimate the knowledge of Olode. Wait for them to ask you about the situation.If they now ask. Lie." This sounded like bad advice. Father smiled as though he knew I wasn't a hundred percent behind him with this mode of action. He explained further. "When I ensured you came over here, I was ensuring your safety..." I was puzzled by that statement and it must have shown on my face. "Toba, don't disturb yourself ehn... Just relax.."

Sometimes telling one not to worry didn't actually eliminate the feeling. I stood up and paced. I wanted to break something. I felt.....claustrophobic.

"Haven't you ever questioned your existence based on the Olode?" I turned to look at my father. I hated when the conversation took this tone. "After all, you ARE my first son." I walked back to my seat and sat down. No I had never given it a second thought, up until now. This I wanted to hear.

Dadi wheeled closer to the table and reached for the glass of water that had laid untouched since I had come in. He took a sip and dropped it back. "Olode for the most part deals in the supernatural. But there are loop holes. Myself and Shode" he tapped his chest with pride." discovered some." He waved his hand as though it was a topic he didn't want to go into detail in now. "See you only need to satisfy what they require. If they want a woman, you give them A woman." the emphasis he put on the "a" drove his message home already. " Awon obirin yen... all these your ladies. Pick one."

"Dad I don't have ladies....."

"Find one." He cut me short. "Toba you FIND one...." He paused for a moment. "This Akusuni....Its like you ...have strong feelings for her?"

"Dad I love this girl and she is carrying my ba-"

"Heehh!" He startled me into silence. I stopped mid sentence What was it?? "Don't you know the more you admit to these things openly the less likely it is to come out of it!" he glared at me like I was stupid for making such a statement.

"Dad I don't believe in this an-"

"Toba. Hold your tongue. Before it holds you hostage with the words you utter" I had nothing to reply to that. "What was I asking again?"

"Yes Dad, I have feelings."

"Then leave her. Find another girl, one you don't even like. And make her your woman. That would be who you point to when and IF Olode ask questions. So gbo?" This was preposterous. "Do you hear me Toba?"

I nodded. As much as it was far fetched. I was a man in a dessert and my father just handed me a glass of water. It made sense. In a freakish manner.

"I suggest you find this girl and get acquainted before they show up. After all, there's a reason they called you Casanova." The name stung. I actually flinched. "Ah Ah...This shouldn't be hard for you." I guess this conversation was over for him because he gave an empty laugh and swiveled his chair back to face the TV.

We sat in silence for sometime, I'm unsure of how long. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind. Was I to just pick a random girl off the streets? How could I simple take a random person and literally use them as a possible sacrificial lamb. Like....how was this going to work out? I hated that I had to go back to the primitive cultist ways. But if this was a way out of this mess then I'd take it. I needed to plot my game plan. I started making a mental lists of females I could bag. My dad didn't notice when I stood up and slipped out the back. Or he noticed and just didn't bother to acknowledge me.

:::: INTERMISSION ::::

2010-04-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

Hey Inkers,

This is the first time I'll make a non Ink post.. but hey. Maybe it might be the last.

I just wanted to update y'all on whats happening and yea... bond with all 35 of you and the many Anonym(i)? lol.

Sooo... I know some of you already want to chop my head because of my lack of timely updates. Well things have been a bit up and down for me. But is it not God? I'm gonna be alllllrraaiighhh!!!!

That being said...Oya! Let us sit down and talk.

Ok...how about we decide a REASONABLE schedule for deliverance. Let us ease Neefemi and Ene them of thier anxiety attacks hahaha (I love u guyss!! Thanks soo much). Please refer to the poll on the side and if you have extra comments just drop em off here... Im also thinking in the event a websiode is not delivered timely. we can just have a "Teaser" session.....I would do an example of a teaser session so you can see what I mean. Basically it wont be REALLY part of the story... but it would still be connected. Its a mini webisode.

Other than that hope you guys are all doing great in blogville so far. Thank you all for the support over the last season and for most of this one. I really appreciate it.

Ok vote o.. let us know how we can get this ball rolling. Arinze them are waiting. *wink wink*

PS: I just finished reading half a yellow Sun guys! MMMEEENNNN see book! It was sooo entertaining. Like I wanna go to Nsukka now and stroke Richards hair. LMAO! (For those who have read it) But yeas... My next stop is 'Say you're one of them' Anyone read this book yet? Personal review.. but please no.. exposing of details.. Help a sister enjoy the book ko.

Alrighty.. Thanks soooo much again. I love you guys you give me reason to live and enjoy this alternate world I created with these characters.... its a comfortable get away... :) especially when drama is lacking in this one hahah...

Ok OK OK.. Im going.. Byee!

S2 W11. ...And the rains would come.

2010-03-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Yale....?"

I couldn't answer. Couldn't find my voice.It was lost somewhere in the ruckus that was set off in my system. I was staring at Shafa like he had a third eye.

"Yale?" He gave an uncomfortable short laugh. "Are you going to answer me?"

"Baby....." I took his face in my hands and started laughing. I couldn't stop it. It came right from the pit of my belly and uncontrollably spilled out of my lips. I hugged him so tight!

"I'm assuming you're happy..... and...." I continued laughing hysterically "Yes Yale? You would right?"

I looked at him still in stitches...."Yes babe...Of course!"

"Hahahah! Mhhhmmmnn!!!" He whooped and lifted me into the air in one swoop.

He wants me to be his wife. Im going to be a wife. a WIFE like not a babe o. A woman that is ONE with a man. A man she loves. A freaking lick your lips and have your panties in a bunch looking kinda a man. A that loves ME back. Enough to ask me to be his forever. Meeennnnnnnnnnnnn........I can't even being to comprehend my luck. I did NOT see this coming I mean. Ive always thought subconsciously that it would be nice to be married to Shafa... but It was one of those... LATER dreams. Like it wasnt even a.... I didnt think of it urgently like that. But.... OMG!!! OMG!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Im going to marry Shafa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes bitches... you are now free to HATE! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

We had been hugging each other tightly all this time....

"Thank you so much Yale..."

"Whatever!!!"

We broke apart and just sat and looked at each other.

"Wo-"

"-ow"

We said it at the same time. then laughed.

"Soooo... you deemed it fit to ask me to marry you without a ring. Abi the rice and meat was my ring?

"Hahaha can that work?"

"Oh shush!"

He came and shoved me with his butt so he could share my chair "Well I wanted you to choose your ring."

"You know I ain' cheap when it comes to these things, hope the credit card is ready!"

"Don't broke us before we marry o!"

I just had to smile....We were getting married. I was going to be Mrs.Yale Johnson.....ohhh that sounded sexy already. Yale Dairo-Johnson....hmmn...Yale D Johnson...?

"Yale? snap out of it...."

"I leaned in to kiss my 'fiancee'..."So when are we going to get my rock?"

**********************************************************************************************************************************

That had to be Arinze. I walked back to the door when the doorbell rang not too long after Toba left.

"Hey...." he had a look of concern when I opened the door.

"Hey you... please come in...." I opened the door wider to let him inside. but quickly rushed onwards to wards the living room. "Sorry for the inconvenience had an impromptu visitor..." I trailed off and turned to look at him. He was still standing at the door. "Wassup?"

"Nothing..." he had a weird expression on his face. Something like....indecision. "Er...Are you ok?"

"I will be..."

He looked deeper at me for a split second then... sighed and switched to a visibly lighter mood. Maybe to make me feel better....."Hows .....the little hommie?"

I laughed... "Hommie???"

"Yes now..." he gave a sly smile like he was pleased..

"What if its a girl?"

"Him?? A babe? Dont let him hear you o, he'd be insulted."

I laughed out loud. This guy was not even serious... "You're not serious Arinze. Please stop standing at my door like that come and sit... can I offer you a drink or something?"

"Well I have to be back at the hospital in a bit.. I however did mention I had a lil something something for you..............." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip. "Come sit..." he patted the couch space beside him.

I went and sat. "What is it?" I curiously tried to peer into his hands...

"Well its a special invitation to the annual Young doctors congress... its in Vegas this year. And Im a guest speaker"

"O....k??"

"Its 1 day really, on a Thursday...butttt its in Vegas annnddd I was offered the entire weekend at the 'Venetian. and this package is plus one." He smiled suspiciously at me. "I've been working like a dog for.... a long time....I need a break. And I utterly REFUSE to take my cousin Ugo again."

I laughed... "Ugo huh..."

"Yes. Anyways, Suni....I want you to come with me" He beamed.

"To Vegas?" He nodded then sat back watching my reaction.

"Oh... and..." He smiled devilishly again "its THIS Thursday..." He sat back again.

How convinient. Should I take it...? I would LOVE to spend the weekend with Arinze, and see him in his element. I would LOVE to go to Vegas... have some nice pampering time. But I would HATE to comply with Tobas useless suggestion and....be gone.

"Suni, its going to be great I promise... or you have something else planned? "

"Not even... tis just....." Take it Suni. This is a win win anyways... Take it. "Ok...."

"Ok?"

"Ok Ill go......" I smiled.

"Wow that was easier than I thought....."

"I'm unpredictable like that...." He smiled a satisfied smile. This was going to be ok Suni. Like I said.. win-win situation.

**********************************************************************************************************************************

Me and Yale had talked rings for the rest of the night. I had brought out my MacBook and we had googled ourselves to exhaustion. She insisted on sleeping at her place that night claming that my seductive effort were futile. She already knew my ulterior motive. The girl had issues sha. But I am happy. I feel like I just made a killer deal and only I know that its a cash cow. I laughed to myself as I pulled back into my driveway but my laughter was cut short. I noticed someone sitting on my steps. A someone who looked a hell lot like Ronke.

Oh Lordy Lord....

I took my time in parking and getting out of the car. Trying to sharply think of a splendid excuse to get her away fast. I wonder what the issue was this time. Maybe she needed a ride... if it was to Far Away I'd gladly assist her.

"Hey Ronke...." She was sobbing. I couldnt help my self. I rolled my eyes. "Whats wrong?" Because I didnt want her in the house I dropped beside her on the porch.

She kept on sniffling. Her head in her hands she didn't even answer me. She started crying a bit harder. Something gripped in my chest. I moved closer. "Ronke whats the problem?" I waited... more sobs. "Im not a mind reader........." This babe really needs to get her shit together I thought to myself. "Should I call Yale?" She whipped her head up. Ehen... I knew that would get her -

"Whoaa!" My thoughts were cut short by her black eye. I immediately reached for her.

"N-no... don't" she hiccuped and winced. "She'll f-f-freak out-t-t"

"What in the hell happened to you Ronke???" I touched her face she gave a loud yelp.

"Its painful pleasee....." she scooted away and continued sobbing... I jumped up adn puller her with me.

"Come inside... put some ice on that...." I fumbled for my keys and found them and quickly opened the door. "You have to tell me what happened. An emotion.. it felt like anger... was rumbling in my belly.

She timidly walked into the house and straight to the couch. Her sobbing was siltent but loud.

"Ronke. Tell me now." I had shut and locked the door and now stood over her. I wanted an explanation if I had to offer help. And she needed it.

"I always get the douche bag Shaffy... thats what happened. I got the douche."

I needed a bit more, pardon my cluelessness. "As in....?"

"A guy who claimed to like me punched me in the fucking face." She raised her voice in anger. "He said I should never raise my voice at a man!! Can you imagine the asshole? HE FUCKING PUNCHED ME!!"

I was.....not surprised. She did have a mouth on her but dammit no man should do this to a lady.
A small voice at the back of my head said "Ronke isnt entirely a "lady"..... I immediately felt ashamed for thinking that. She was hurt for Christs sake.

"Im going to sue the motherfucker....This is domestic violence!!" She started weeping again. I couldnt help comfort her. First of all I needed her calm... second of all I needed her out of the house ASAP... If I knew this girl well.... "Its ok.... shhhhh.." I rocked her....

"Shafa I wasn't even rude or anything I swear. I know I can be a smart mouth at times but all I said was that he shouldnt be disrespecting me and chatting up other girls in my presence."

"Whats his name?"

"You dont know him..."

"I'm sure I'll know some people who will, what's the name?"

"Robby....Robert."

"I told you to leave these Oyinbo guys you wont listen!"

She laughed small...."He was cuuuteee and he was.......cute" she said it again as if it dawned on her that was the only good thing about this idiot.

I shook my head..."Let me get you something for your eye." I stood up but she clung to me...

"No just....." Ah ah. "I just need to sit down small...."

"Ok... sit.. let me get the ice pack so the swelling can reduce small...did any one see this happen??" I peered closely at her eye... the swelling wasn't that bad but it was there.

"His roommate..... but he's just a big of an asshole. He was giving him props....." she pouted..."I didnt know where else to go, He knows where I stay and I just didn't fee safe.... I kind of....... slapped him back... then ran for my life...."

"Sheesh Ronke..."

"No one punches me in the face and gets a way with it o.. lai lai..." she tried to squeeze her face but only ended up wincing.

"Yale would only freak out and insist on raising hell this night and... My head hurts and I.... Im hurt...this shit is just fucked up like.... " tears trickled down her cheek. "Man.....Im just tired...."

I used this introspective moment she was having to go the kitchen and get an ice pack for her eye. I was tempted to text Yale. I didnt. I knew what Ronke meant. Yale would just add headache for everyone else with her panic and concern and...fussing. And I can imagine how Ronke didnt want all that right now. Ill message her in the morning. I brought the pack back and handed it to Ronke... "Put it onteh eye"

"But it hurts..."

"Well it'd hurt more if you dont compress it now...Oya" I thrusted teh pack in ther face.. she took it and put it very.... awkwardly on the eye it wasnt even touching it completely. "No... put it..." I took it from her and put it the right way...."Ok hold it..." She placed her hand over mine. Before I took my hands off it, I noticed the way she looked at me.....through the one ok eye. If trouble had a face.. this was it.

"Can I stay here till tomorrow?" she was pleading. And I was not going to succumb.

"Why dont I take you to..."

"Dont even say Yale's...."

"No not Yale.... Suni's...?"

She scoffed. "Suni doesn't like me."

"Really?" This wasnt news somehow. "Nah Im sure... she'd be nice to assist shes not a bitch like you..."

She smiled....I dont know if she did it on purpose but the smile was sexy.... "Its not my fault."

"Right..." i stood there and watched her watch me watch her compressing the eye. She knew I wasnt comfortable having her here. But she also knew she had a soft spot with me.

"Do you ever think of us?" I didnt see that coming.

"Whats there to think about?"

She smiled slowly again.... then jsut nodded. "Nothing I guess." she laughed to herself I guess in an attempt to peak my curiosity as to what she was laughing about. I wont play this game. Not tonight sha. When I didnt answer she spoke again. " Its just that I think I end up with all thse nonsense guys because I cant find one that tops you Shafa."

I stared at her intently. I knew this was gonna come back and bite me in the ass. I should never have touched her. "Ronke what we had...."

"Was the best thing that has ever happened to me." She tried to finish off...

"No Ronke.. it was nothing."

"Bullshit."

I sighed. This was going to be a long night.

"Shafa....you couldn't get over my body. You LOVED it...."

"Your body Ronke...."

"And me....?

"Not the way you expected Ronke... I mean... I care for you your welfare everything. Its paining me that maga touched you Id deal with that later... but man.. Ronke me and you cant ever work...." she had dropped the icepack and was staring at me now. Painfully.. fresh tears were rolling down her face and it was obvious it wasn't from the Robby punch. "I proposed to Yale."

Its odd that she'd be the first to know... but I needed her to get me out of her head, system and stop trying to ruin things. Her jaw slightly dropped when I said that..

"When?"

"A few hours ago..."

"No way..." she said more to herself than to me. I just sat and watched her... hoping the whole thing was beginning to sink for her.

She dropped the ice pack beside her and then stood up.

"Where are you going?" she walked towards me. I had this very cowardly urge to RUN. "Ronke..."

As she reached me I stood up. "See...." I towered over her. "let me take you to Suni's"

"Shaf....You really don't want me?" she was peering straight into my eyes now.

No...
I dont know if I said it out loud... or in my head.. or in my heart I sha said it somewhere.
Then she ran her hands up my chest...

"WHOOAA! Ronke... " I stepped back and held her arms at arms length. "Quit this bullshit now." My voice had turned to ice.... but where she touched me burned. See Ronke is a weak spot for me and this is because she knows my weak spots. All of them. Even the ones I dont know about. During our very short lived fling... she was a whizz in finding and mastering all my spots... she was an artist when it came to that.

"Shafa......" I glared at her....and she smiled back devilshly. "You still want me."

S2 W10. The wind WILL Blow before a storm...

2010-03-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

I need to get her out of town... just for the weekend. At least until they are gone. I knewww they had to be around soon. Things were too quiet. How am I going to do this now. She wont even see me.

"Toba is that you?"

I turned around. I had been standing at her door for.... I guess long enough for her to notice me and then confront me.

"Suni....." I drank in the sight of her. She was something else. She had braids now.and they fell down in front of her shoulders down to her breasts... which were visibly bigger. She was wearing a humongous beige sweater which worked excellently with her complexion. the sweater went ALL the way to her knees... If I knew Suni well she had gained a couple of pounds and wanted to conceal it.

"Toba what are you doing here?" She came out the doorway slightly... in a defensive way. Then she instinctively folded her arms over her belly. Well she wasn't too pleased to see me that I can tell.

"Suni we need to talk...."I looked around.... for some odd reason I felt paranoid. " Urgently really."

"Erm Toba.. if this is about my baby....."

"Its about you...."

"What about me??"

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand... that feeling you feel when you're being watched... it heightened. I looked around again.. it seemed.... clear... but you never know. "Can I come in......." She had no reason to... "Please...."

"Look Toba, I don't know whats with you and... I'm not comfortable. -"

"Please Suni.. Please.. lets just talk inside, I promise I wont stay long...."

"Seriously Toba...."

"I'm begging you Suni."

"Fine." She stepped aside. I stepped through. She smelled like........vanilla.

Bad move Akusuni. Bad move. "So....." Toba was here in my house. He looked harmless really. Still handsome. But the burning attraction I used to feel for him every time I saw him.. or were together... It sure wasn't present now. I looked at him well. He looked. worried. Scared. Like something or someone was after him. He kept looking at the door.

"Suni... I'm not asking you to get rid of our ba-"

"My baby Toba. Mine. You lost rights to this baby when you sentenced her....or him to death without thought."

Wow. that threw me off.....but I guess its well deserved. It would be hard to explain AGAIN the reason behind my request. "Fair enough.....I'm not asking you to abort YOUR baby Suni." she looked satisfied at her claim. "But I'm asking you to be safe. I know you don't believe any of the things I try to tell you about me and why I wanted to...." I didn't wanna replay my reasons... I hated being the enemy here. "Suni.. above everything I want you to... be safe and... please.. "

"Wait wait wait wait WAIT. Just holdddd it."

I actually kept quiet.

"One. I really don't care what YOU want Toba. It IS the least of my priorities.. hell its not even a priority." she paused... whether it was for my response or for effect I don't know. "Secondly. Stop pleading with me and pleasing... just say what you came to say."

"Safety... can you take my advise and stay somewhere just for this weekend?"

"Huh?"

"There are some people coming this weekend. I don't want you to be in town when they come. Anything could happen."

"Who's coming."

"Suni.... would you go?"

"Er Of course not! How am I just going to stand up and ex for the weekend. I have a life. plans and..."

"Suni. Please. Just for this weekend.... Its... its... " I was scrambling for any other good reason..."It could help you relax for the baby and you know ... "

"Toba.. I'm relaxed here.. its shit like this that make me agitated." We had sat down in the kitchen but no she stood up and started pacing. "Who is coming?"

"My fathers."

"Ers.?" She looked at me confused. "Like more than 1?"

"Yes Suni. My cult fathers. They are here this weekend. I would like to ask you to NOT be here when they come."

"Why?"

"Because you are not safe. You have something of theirs"

"No Toba thats where you are wrong. YOU have something of theirs. I owe nobody NOTHING!" She started pacing again. "What kind of nonsense is this now... I'm just doing my own jejely who asked me to be involved with cultist now." I assumed she wasn't talking directly to me anymore. "I cant believe this SHIT is happening to me mennnn......" she flopped down on the seat. and stared at me. She was thinking. She always bit her lip when she was thinking.... I waited. I hoped.

**********************************************************************************

I was in the dress. It had taken me... a long time to find it. But I did. I had worn the dress with red accessories, but tonight I wore it with gold. I had on huge pearl earrings lined with gold. My hair was in pinned up so the back of the dress wasn't hidden. Well technically there was no back. The dress was tailored so it dipped in a V all the way to the small of my back. It was long sleeved and the front was turtlenecked in lace so you could see some cleavage. The dress itself was velvet and wasn't too short. It was RIGHT on knee length for me. It was one of those... extra sexy concealed seductive dresses. Yes I had had a plan when I wore it for Shafa's send off.

Tonight though, I felt very sexy. My makeup was very light...and... Shafa must fall in love with me again.Yes. I was prepared. It was 6:50..... He should be here anytime now.

I walked around the house to make sure all the lights were off. then went to the living room. I hate waiting.

6:55 ugh... WHERE is he??? I fidgeted with the tv... Stood up.. paced... sat back down. If this boy is late....

I walked to the kitchen.... then walked back. I didn't want to eat anything and smudge my lip gloss either... The door bell rang.

6:59 lucky maga!

"Shafa Johnson!!"

"Wow."

"Shafa! You're..........almost late."

"Wow."

"Lets go jo..." I walked out then shut the door to lock it. "And close your mouth." Hi5 Yale... mission accomplished. We got into the car and I knew he was still looking at me.

"Yale. NEVER remove this dress." I laughed out loud... no I guffawed!!

"Im not a mooch like that ehn. Its not that serious." He started the car and started driving...."So where are we dating tonight."

"You'll see...."

I liked surprises... so I just smiled and waited.....Shafa free hand reached for mine as I reached for his... I had to smile...

**********************************************************************************

"Do you like surprises?" she hadn't picked the first time I called, but I figured she was busy so I waited for a bit to call back and if maybe leave a message. She picked up though.

"Depenndss...."

"I have a surprise."

"Hmm... what is it?"

"Well Ill have to show you. Be there in 5..."

"Er....."

"You're busy?"

"Erm... I have a visitor now, but gimme like 20mins?"

"O....k....." She sounded...pensive"Are you ok Suni?"

"Yes yes... just.. 20mins ?"

"Ok... see you in 20 then."

**********************************************************************************
I stared across the table at a man I once loved? I dont know.. felt deeply for. I stared across into the eyes of the father of the child. The one who wanted me safe, but my child dead.

"I dont know. Let me think about it Toba."

"I need to know now Suni."

"Do NOT....." I took a deep breath. " Don't rush me Toba." I WAS going to consider this. " Let me figure things out. Ill call you this evening." I stood up to let him know his "wont stay long" was long overdue.

He caught on and stood up. "What time would you call back?"

"Before I sleep"

"Suni... please...."

"Shit Toba Ive heard. Its one thing you roped me into this... this.... freaking mess... allow me get things together dammit. I don't know what kind of foolery you've tried to ... get me into but trust me I wont be involved. I am very much believing that I CANNOT suffer the sins of my.... boyfriend....EX! God will fight my own battles... you better find someone or being to fight yours cause its not going to be and it wont be my baby. I will consider going away for the weekend but I need to weight my options and priorities. If I do choose to stay however, you HAVE to respect my decision. I don't want you showing up at my doorstep like a freaking stalker and riling up different theories as to how I need to follow YOUR rules and get deeper into your mess of a life. So yes.. kindly.. give me some space as it is obvious your crowding me. Ill call tonight." During this spiel I had walked to the door and was now standing with it open. Aka walk the hell out of my house. He was insulted. I could see it, but what ever was eating him, had gotten to him so bad that he looked more defeated than insulted. He just...... nodded.

"Thanks will hear form you this evening I hope."

I closed the door.

**********************************************************************************

We drove up into his driveway.

"So this is the surprise? Your house?"

" Yes now... " he got out to pen the door for me.

"Shafa you made me spice up like this for a night IN?'

"Welllll......" We walked to the door..which he opened for me...again. "Look I'm dressed up too"

Oh I had noticed. Dark suit, Dark t-shirt. No tie.... this look NEVER failed my Shafz...

"I can see...."

The lights in the house were off... instinctively i reached out to the switch. As if he knew I was going to do that... he stopped me.. "Calllmmm downn!"

"Ah ah.. we are standing in darkness Shafa. I am a child of Light please." I laughed... cause he laughed. He took both my hands and led me to the dining room. Out of reflex I let out an awwwww. He had the kitchen all set up. Candle light and all. "Shafa...."

"Hold on Hold on....." He went to the counter and grabbed... a remote? Music came on.....Teach me how to love by Musiq Soulchild. I loved this song!

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Shafa!! My trackkk " I started swaying cause that song GETS me...

He guided me to my seat and sat me down at the table. "Hungry?"

I was singing along but I nodded. Tonight was going to be fun. I liked this. He should do this all the time. "What are we eating...?"

"Rice and Stew and Dodo.." I laughed out loud because thats the only thing Shafa can cook well.

"Sounds like a plan...." he went to the stove ans served my a plate. I had to laugh because he was like all... sexy... waiting on me.... I walked up to him and hugged him from behind while he served.

"You can never sit still.. go and sit down!"

"Never! With you looking too scrumptious standing here serving me that I had to come and see that you are not putting otumopko in my food." He laughed..."You know you have me already....no need for jazz" He laughed again and turned around.

"You're sure?"

"Ehen now..." We walked back to the table with our plates. He poured some wine and since we were staying indoors I dove for one sexy looking peice of dodo. "Men Shafa... your dodo is the BUSINESS!"

He laughed. And went to sit down on the other side of the table.

"Ok cute date is over.. come and sit close to me so we can play footsie while I commend you on your exceptional rice and stew skills..."

"Yale your ruining my candle light dinner!"

"Candle light ni... lantern ko.. my friend dress here!"

He laughed... and came closer... kissed me on my forehead before he sat down. "You're something else."

Zapp and rogers I wanna be your man came on. I had to stop eating. I just HAD to. This here... THIS was MY track! MY OWN!

"Hey Ladddyyyyy!" I stood up. and grabbed Shafa's hand. "Excuse me dance?"

"You too like this song!"

Why wont I? This song was too madd. I sang on. "I can't liiiiiveeeee my lifeeee without you!" I leaned close to him.

He completed the next part. "Uhhh baby"

"Everytime I see you walking by I cannot breathhhheeeee" we were singing together now and mimicking a bad ass performance. Shafa entered auto tune mode. "Yooouu dont understand but in time you willlllll"

"I must make you understannnnddddddddd" we both mimicked ddrummers... "DUM DUM"

"IIII wanna be your man!" we collapsed in laughter. Our singing was just terrible. But nice. and we did look dashing. Shafa pulled me close ... we were still giggling but more of dancing now. He ran his hands down my exposed back. "This dress will not be the cause of my death Yale..."

"It has served its purpose"

"No kidding!"

He kept on caressing my back as we danced... just enjoying each others moves. It was nice though.... a nice night. I like this... "Shafa this is soo nice...."

"Im good like that..."

I hit him because he was now praising himself. "You're not serious... you tried sha...." I couldn't help but wonder though....what was the occasion. "Oya so what do you want from me Mr.Johnson?" I looked up at him... he looked at me and its like I fell in love AGAIN. Shafa had very intense eyes and very pretty lashes.

"Well...."

"As if I knew... coy man. Using food and candle to entice me into giving you what you want."

"Well..... I'm hoping you'll want to give me."

"What?" my curiosity was at 1000 level now. He stopped dancing and reached for the remote. Zapp and rogers were still crooning. He reduced the volume till we almost couldn't hear them. "What's it Shafa....?"

"I was wondering if you could assist me in something very serious. Its a huge proposition and I'm hoping you could help?"

"What is it? Business?"

"Well.. it depends on how you look at it... it could be an investment for you...really..."

"O....k....?" He walked me to my seat and sat me down...."Tell me jo.. I'm dying of curiosity."

"K....." he ran his hand over his face.

"Are you in trouble? financially?"

He laughed... "No I'm not Yale... ok fine.. its like this........" He took my hands...

"Would you be interested in being.." He cleared his throat. "In being my ... wife?

S2 W9. What God has put together....

2010-02-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ronke had literally jumped into Shafa's car. I was tempted to call her out and be like "yo, what are you doing", but that was the least of my problems now. Besides I trust Shafa... and I know he doesn't even like her like that so....yea....

Ronke literally jumped into my car sha. This babe goes haarddd! Yale had looked suspicious for a bit. But then she smiled it off like it wasn't possible. I plead with her mentally to carry this woman from my hand. She walked up to me...

I walked up to him and I know Ronke was watching me. But who cares. I tiptoed (cause Shafa's tall like that) and I kissed him. I kissed him hard enough to let him know I still wanted him as bad as the first time... and soft enough to let him know I wasn't worrying. I trust him. I refuse to use words to express these things because..... sometimes.. actions speak wayyy louder than words. I slowly came back down on my feet... and to earth. I looked up at him...straight into his eyes....

Yup. I love her.

Period. Full stop. End of story.

Shes literally everything I want in a woman all stuffed up in one body. And that body is here in front of me. Wanting me back. She was looking at me like she was inside my head. Like she could see the whole back and forth with Ronke.. and it was like she....trusted me not to do anything. More than I trusted myself. That's a woman for you....a right woman...

"Erm..... ok. So... I'll go with Shafa ba?" I didnt have to look at Ronke to tell she was irritated.

I smiled at my main object of focus and patted his face with my hand. "See u later babe..." I looked at Ronke and just laughed. "Before nko? you think I want your wahala in my vehicle." I walked to my car and dialed Suni's number. I hope she was home.

***************************************************************************************************************

I was done my shift for the day...but I really wasn't craving for my bed as usual. I was hoping to run into Suni somehow. The girl hadn't stopped being on my mind since.....since she first came to confirm her pregnancy. Then we had that moment when she was admitted... but after that I had seen her only once... I ran into her late one night at Walmart. I remember spotting her in line from the end of the aisle. Tiny, wearing some huge sweater thingy. It made her look even smaller. She looked fuller though... body wise. He face was healthier, but her features still sharp. And her hair was different. It was curly now, but pulled back in a pony tail. The girl was nothing short (no pun intended) of stunning. I hadn't even realize when I had walked up to help her.

"Arinzee...." she had looked surprised to see me. A good surprised. That made me happy.

"Hey mama"

"Ugh please... dont call me that" I swiped the bags from the counter and from her hands, there were four in total.

"All this grub for you?"

"I'm eating for two, its allowed." she was smiling really hard. She had lovely teeth and perfect lips to accentuate them.

"True True." I waited for her to walk in front of me so she could lead the way.

"Just got off work I suppose...." She walked towards one of the lonely cars in the parking lot. A dark blue Yaris. Cute.

"Yup......................" she opened the trunk and I dropped the bags. "Needed to browse the mart to see what I can pick up to eat."

"Aww.............................." she stood there smiling. I stood there waiting.... for what I dont know. She looked at her car as if contemplating...."Want me to help you choose between WonderBread and NoName?"

And that's how Suni and I spent the next 1 hour. in that time I found out she was even more stunning that I had first thought. She was very comical, extremely picky, and she always broke things down. She was hella sexy. She kept biting her lips when it came down to choosing. I remember it was ground beef time. There was the one that was $3.29 and on one that was fresh and the $4.50 one that was obviously more, but was about to expire. Naturally I would've picked the $4.50 one, but this woman stood there weighing pro's and cons of picking the $3.50 one. She would bite her lips then weigh them both in her hands... then give a reason why one is better. We stood there for 5 minutes... I watched her battle. Hell, ground beef wasn't THIS important to me, but i loved this performance she was giving. The girl was entertaining. We finally went with $4.50. We had talked about everything in this one hour. She was doing fine with the baby... almost 2 months now. She subtly mentioned an issue with the father of the child that peaked my interest. I would love to know more....Anyways our impromptu midnight Walmart rendezvous had come to end. I was with groceries and the prettiest girl in the store. I was a happy man.

We said out good bye's in the parking lot and that was it. The moment she drove away, I waited for her to do that, I felt... lonely. That was the moment my apartment stopped being appealing to me. Ever since I have dragged my feet to go home after work. Today the feeling was worse. I missed Suni. Weird feeling cause I really dont know her, but ya... I miss her. So being a doctor, trained to act quickly and make concise decisions swiftly. I call.

***************************************************************************************************************

Suni was responding better than I expected to the whole Toba story...I remember thinking I would be there for hours trying to simmer down what I thought would be a major blowup in anger, but no. Suni had blown off the whole thing like there was nothing to worry about.She truly believed Toba cared for her and was borderline going crazy because of her saftey. She said she was not going to get rid of the baby though.... but everything would be fine.Whatever it is. Babe was floating on some cloud and didn't give a damn what Toba thought. I was happy and sad. Happy that she wasn't giving him the time of the day, but sad that I didn't understand her total disregard for the situation. I expected more..........drama.

"So.. what are you going to do?"

She laughed... "Nothing Yale... I'm just going to keep on existing, I wont kill myself for someone else......that is not my child" she added as an after thought. Her phone rang.... and this girl,, I swear, started blushing. YES I could see it through her dark skin.

"Hey you...." she mouthed A.r.i.n.z.e

"Ah ha......" I smiled back...maybe that's why she was so.... euphoric.

"I'm fine.... Im making lunch" she listened for a moment and laughed... "You're not serious! Im eating for twooooo" and walked away into the next room, like I wasn't even there. Hmm na wa o! I walked after her... my amebo antenna alert.

"you cant cook ground beef? Arinze its EASY!" She was laughing again. I tapped her and told her to put it on speaker phone. She kicked me in reply. Love wan tin tin.. Makes a girl kick her best friend. My phone rang... Shafa.

"Hey babe.."

"Still at Suni's?"

"Ya.....but I'm leaving... shes being toasted outta her manners..."

"Are you serious? Who??"

"Dokita of course...."

"Oh...." He laughed but remained silent small.. something was up...

"Wassup....?"

"Nothing.... just wanted to ask... " He coughed... "Ok this would be weird, but I just wanted to ask if you'd like to go on a date with me?"

I burst out laughing..."You're on crack....why??"

"Seriously Yale....I want to take you out today...."

He sounded so serious....He WAS serious.....I decided to play along.. " Hmm... I dont know, I have to check my schedule"

"It's free jo...i'll pick you at 7:30?"

"See your head."

"Please wear that black dress you wore to my send off..." Oh wow... he noticed what I wore?? "And if you;re wondering... yes I noticed. You burned an image of you in my head with that dress.............."

I was blushing so hard right now....giving Suni a run for her moneyy!! I had already worn my shoes and let myself out. I was almost running to my car to start getting ready......"I guess Ill see you at 7 then Mr. ITK...."

"Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss!" I had to laugh cause the guy REALLY sounded excited. Hell I was excited too.... I guess I gotta go get pretty for my man.... I wonder where Ronke is....? Hmn...

**************************************************************************************************************
"Is this 'Nova?"

I knew the voice. "Yes Sir"

"We will be in the area over the weekend. Make yourself available."

"Yes Sir."

The line went dead. I guess.... time has come.

S2 W8. Ignorance is Bliss

2010-02-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

Always talking! Ronke can NOT shuttup. Lai lai. She was on her phone when she entered the office.....without knocking! Might I add. She froze for a split second when she saw me. Like she was surprised.

“E ye o! Yale since when??”

“I should as you the same question.” She was holding a Swiss Chalet take out bag in her hand. What the… “I see you brought lunch…” I eyed the bag.

She held it up “Yaaaa…..” then dropped it again “Seems like I’ll be eating alone.”

I did NOT appreciate the way this conversation sounded. I felt I was sharing my man. I don’t know. This was just not rubbing me the right way. “Mhmn…” Or maybe I was just being paranoid. Ronke, loud mouth as she is, is still a sweetheart…………………………

Shafa coughed and stood up. “Ronke what’s really good? This is a pleasant surprise.” He pointed to the couch on the other side of the office. He walked to my side and sat on the table beside me.

She smiled to herself, like she understood something and it was funny. “I was just in the hood o, you know me now, I'm trying to skip that literature class. If to say the man was fine now… maybe, but caaaaammmaaaaannnn” She dropped the bag on the floor and leaned back into the chair. “So what are you two lovebirds up to?”

I looked at Shafa, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. Reflex.

“Yale here surprised me and brought lunch. When I didn’t even know I was hungry. We just chilling…..” he winked at me and I laughed. Reflex again. I swear… when he’s goofy, I can’t help but relax.

My instinct was alert though. That I couldn’t ignore.

“Wait, Ronke, shouldn’t you be wrapping up soon?”

“Im done o, don’t get it twisted, but in order to grad with honors, I need to get an A in this Lit class. Talk about imposi-CANT??” She reached for the Swiss Chalet bag and started opening it up “Please, let me lunch here….Im dying of hunger and than man is just draining the small energy I have left. Can you Imagine…. I was in class o, trying to hold on to the last shred of interest in this dude’s class…….”

I tuned out. As she had started like this. Ronke would not stop until she was tired. She had on makeup today. Well.. she always has on makeup.. but it was….nicer today, like she spent time. And her hair was definitely done, like she didn’t just pack it up and come. It was all straightened and glistening and shit. She looked pretty. She was being animated now…

“He kept on flaying his hands like a retarrdd!!!” she was animating it. Shafa was finding it amusing. I laughed too… but I wasn’t really laughing at her antics per say. I tuned out again.

Not like she was talking to me. Her whole story seemed to be for Shafa. She was even angled towards him. I know... It seems like Im being overly.... sensitive. Like this is Ronke! Besides even if she's oogling Shafa, it cant be for real. I mean the boy IS good looking. So... hey.

Anyways... I better get

"Shafa when do you get off?" I didnt mean to cut her little tale short, but I had to go. I looked at Ronke apologetically..."Sorry..."

"Rude Much..."

"Abeg jo, you will talk our ears off if I dont stop you anyways." I looked back at Shafa... he seemed amused. "Abi?"

"Abeg leave me out of this sha.!!" he threw his hands up and then stood up from the desk and went back to his seat. "I can get off now..."

"Ok, lets go together then..."

"Go where" Ronke and her amebo tendencies. I pray for this girl o!

"No where that concerns your class skipping class. Im gonna call your mom."

"Uh" she did her mouth like she was digusted at my attempt to be elderly. "See you.... If you like, tell now." She stood up and over exaggeratedly adjusted her obviously fitting jeans...ran her hands over her jeans again, at that moment I happened to turn back to Shafa to want to ask him to speed up and.....maybe it was just my eye.... but I can SWEAR he was checking her out. Like... he was looking through the corner of his eye at her. But then he looked at me so casually ...it was like... that didnt happen.

Yeah... I was just being paranoid.

"Dont even tell me to hurry Yale... your mouth is already twisting." I had to smile.

"What -evvvver."

Ronke took a deep loud breath behind us. "Since y'all are ditching me....."

"Dont go and graduate, be feeling ditched there..." Shafa finished whatever he was rounding up on the computer and grabbed his jacket.

"The two of you... wont kill me." He walked to the door and opened it."After you ladies...."

I started making my way to the door. Good thing we were moving anyways, this office was getting stuffy, I was beginning to hallucinate and imagine things and I needed to get to Suni's early if I wanted to get home early today. "Seriously Ronke, stop skipping class you need it to graduate......"

*************************************************************************************************************

Yale was ranting again. I love that girl but .....

Ronke walked by me at that moment. This giirrrllll.. this girrrllllll!!

She mouthed "My place..?"

I shook my head and ushered her out....and yes. I did notice the booty. I actually remember those jeans. Weird, they are burned in my head. Back when we had our....thing. For lack of a better name to call it, those were the jeans the she wore the first day we kinda let our feeling run amuck. I kno them cause of the red threading detail around the ass. They made those jeans for her body alone. I swear. She knew what she was doing wearing those jeans here today. Thank God for Yale o! I turned to lock my office door. Ronke is not my favorite girl see.....but the girl is something else. If encouraged she will make a pastor sin with no regrets.

"Shafaaa...." Yale was at the exit already. She beckoned to me to hurry up. Ronke was again strategically behind her.

"Calm down jo.." I walked by the reception and waved to Chauncy. "See you later bro."

He gave me the "Nice one" nod. Man... I cant have this kind of news going round the office.. I can only imagine how this seems. ........... "Have a nice one Mr. Johnson."

Ya Ya whatever.

"You're seriously taking you time....." Yale Yale Yale... I smiled sheepishly.

We walked to the parking lot briskly... everyone has to go at Yale's pace. We got there and seeing as Yale brought her car, and I had mine, we had ot now spit. Yale looked at me....

"Ok.... I guess..." She looked at Ronke... Ronke just innocently looked back at me

"Soooooooo.....Can I get a ride?"

S2 W7. Confidant

2010-01-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

"Someone looks forlorn today..." Jackie sat on my desk and started playing idly with a pen while she waited for my attention. I continued typing. "Shafa..." she poked my busy hand with the pen. I looked at her. "Talk to me...."

"Jackie I'm fine....do you have the final drafts so I can start modeling?" Didn't mean to snap, but ya.

"Shafa, I have them but that's not the issue. What's eating at you?" she slid down from the table and finally took the seat opposite me. "Is it Yale?"

"Why would it be Yale?" My problem with some women is that they like to feel like they knowww...

"Because, you're not easily ruffled. Only someone who has a grip on you can ruffle ......you?" she wasn't even smiling when she said that so I knew she wasn't joking. She really believed that. Again she sat, patiently waiting.

Jackie is a very unique person. She's random. Charming. Funny. And shes a looker. I can't lie and say I'd never noticed her good looks, she IS stunning, but we just never clicked like that. We have steadily been building a very wish washy close friends kinda relationship and...ya. I know however that she's feeling me in some way. Yea, we have deep conversations every now and then and we are like homeboys when we interact, but shes a woman. A very free and open one at that. She can't really mask her feelings when shes around me. Since she came into town and we were partnered up to work on the lounge project downtown, we had become relatively close. She's had her short comings, lest we forget the drunken incident?? (*Read S1, W15) But she was a great lady. A number of the guys here have bugged me about her. Apparently we are quite the team and it seems Im the only one she gives the time of the day to. The other day Simon, the drafter from 3rd floor whom Ive spoken all but 3 words (Hey, I'm Shafa) to since I started working here came, sat at my desk and asked me, quite rudely, if I was with Jackie. After I denied the hommie didnt even wait for me to finish shaking my head he asked if he could have her number.

"What are you smiling at? What are you thinking?"

I re focused on her face. She had on blood red lipstick today which matched her dress shirt. On any other person this would have been a bit much for the office, but Jackie pulled it off nicely. It was professionally attractive. Made you wanna listen to what she had to say when she spoke.

"Nothing...really... you're just making me laugh with your curiosity." she seemed to blush a bit, she looked away for a split second.

"So... whats ruffling you like this naaa- uuuu" she smiled proudly at her rendition of the word "now". she had been practicing a Nigerian accent because she was recently introduced to Nolly-wood by one of these many razz Nigerian babes in this city that she met at her many....raves.

"You've come again with your half cooked accent" I had to smile back though. I needed to talk with someone. Unbiased, Good listener, Analytical, non judgmental......yea. Jackie would do. "Yale's cousin...female.... is kinda...............digging me." I looked closely to see any trace of reaction that would tell me if I should continue speaking or if Id made the biggest mistake by opening my mouth. She stared blankly back at me as though waiting for more.

"An-nndd this is a problem because.......?" She was confused. "Look, Shafa Im sure you aware of your good looks, sex appeal, charming attitude, I mean you're a very attractive package. I'm quite sure Yale's cousin is not the first to....digg" she demonstrates quotes "..you." Ok.. she was already breaking it down in her head.

"Mm.....The thing is....I find myself still wanting her?" I kinda hung my head at that moment cause that was the main problem.

There. I said it. I am attracted to Ronke.

"O." she mouthed it. Sat back like she finally understood. "Still?" she cocked her eyebrows.

"Don't get me wrong, I dont even like her as a person.... but ... we kinda had a little something be-"

"Hey Guys...." Simon from upstairs poked his BIG red head in. He gave me the "Allow others look" "Er...Shafa, a young lady is at the reception to see you. Yale..." he said it like he was casting me... Idiot.

Jackie looked at me... I didn't have to tell her we'll finish this discussion later. She didn't have to ask. Simon stood there smiling like he had finally won. Such an idiot.

Jackie stood up and straightened her pants., in the process she ran her hands over her thighs and backside. Simon was practically drooling. SUCH a BIGG IDIOT!

"Thanks Simon...." What was Yale doing here sef. She hardly came by my work, and even when she did she never came in. Well siting here wasn't going to answer the question. We all exited my office.

*************************************************************************************************

He walked towards me slowly. He looked tired. He was in stone grey today agin. the color suited him. I love his walk... like he literally commands attention with his swag.

"Hey Babe..."

I tiptoed to hug him. Snuck a kiss in there. "Hey you..."

"What a pleasant surprise, since when did my work place start to appeal to you?" I knew he would be shocked. But today I felt spontaneous. Besides I wanted to gist him whats been going on with Suni n the cultist.

"I miss you and wanted to surprise you, I even brought lunch" AKA McDonalds.

We started walking to his office. I spotted stunna walking to the elevator. As always she looked annoyingly good. I looked at Shafa to see if he noticed her. He eyes were focused inside the Miki D's paper bag looking for fries. Jackie turned and spotted me. She waved. I waved back.

"Jackie is waving o" He finally took his eyes off the food and looked. He waved back.

"So...." he munched on a fry. "Thanks by the way," he raised the bag "Didn't even know I was this hungry." We finally got to his office and got settled. He had wolfed down half of the fries already. I just watched him grub. He smiled at me and continued eating. Never really looking at me. Something had to be on his mind. He seemed....distant almost. Maybe it's work.

"Hows the job? Hope they arent killing you..."

"Man.. its fine o, just need to make sure Jackie gets those drafts to me before the week runs out if not Im screwed with my time line for modeling." He started on the burger.

"Toba confessed to me about everything." He stopped chewing.

"As per......"

"Cult, Father, Suni, Everything."

"Wow....." He wiped his face and put down his barely eaten burger."Its true?"

"From what he said,yes." I actually laughed ..."Wanna know his reason for telling me?" I didnt even wait for him to answer because I was gonna tell him anyways."his reason for telling me...get this" I sat forward because I couldn't wait to give him the outrageousness "He says....Suni's baby is cursed and the cult is going to come after him and her and kill ALL of them." I rolled my eyes for emphasis. "Can anybody be THIS shallow and WEAK to convince the mother of their child the reason to abort is because of CULT members???" I laughed again because now the story was still very funny in my ear.

"Well....."

Ah Ahn "Oh Puh-leaseee!! Dont tell me you believe him Shafa?"

"Not that I do, but the boy IS known to be an Olode. Like this is a known fact." He adjusted in hsi seat. "My worry now is, this is all secret info he has downloaded on you, are you safe??" He looked worried. "Shit, am I safe??"

"Selfish much?"

"Sorry, but really though........." he looked at me I looked at him, both of us lost in thoughts of how serious this info session via confession could be. "Have you told Suni?"

"I'm going there today... I'm apparently meant to try to convince her with his cock and bull story."

Shafa's phone vibrated on the table. I glanced at it...unconsciously. He snatched it off the table, but not quick enough for me to have seen who was calling. It was Ronke.What's she calling him for? I bet she's following up on that coffee...that girl is just not serious.It vibrated again.

"Are you going to ignore your ultimate crush?" I teased. He really looked like he wasn't sure if he should pick or not. "Answer the girl oh, before she bursts in here!"

He half smiled and just let it ring. "Abeg leave these things... we have more serious issues on our hands." He picked up his burger again to get chowing. His office phone rang.

"AH - AH!" I clapped my hands together as if I were dusting them. "She even has your office number?" Odd... but then again its Ronke, she has everybody's business at her fingertips.

"What makes you think its her sef?" He picked "Shafa Johnson..." he paused listening. "Are you kidding me?" pause again. "Damn... ok thanks." he dropped the phone then hung his head with a huge sigh.

"Its her abi? Shit I'm too goodd!"

"Save me from your cousin o!! Yale... SAVE ME!!!"

I just laughed and waited for this dear cousin of mine to enter let me scold her for disturbing my man! I snagged an extra fry that Shafa hadn't eaten and just waited.

S2 W6. Blind-ISH Date

2010-01-15T23:15:00.000-08:00

My phone was ringing. Off the chain.

I had the mind to ignore it.....

"Hello....?"

"Shafa?..." Female voice.... too high pitched for recognition. I looked at the screen of my phone to see if I recognized the number, it said unknown.

"Ya waddup?.... Who's this?"

"Shafa... its Ronke." In-tresting. Shoulda listened to my instinct.

"Yo wassup you aii?" Not that I really cared. But she WAS calling at an odd hour.

"No not really.... I'm a bit.. stran....ded...?" she broke down the last word like she wasn't sure she should use it. Cause it sounds dodgy? Yes Ronke, it sounds VERY dodgy.

"O....k...?" I broke it down in a similar manner..."So...??" ugh I better give the girl a break. I'm too washed out to play the role of asshole."Ok where are you?"

"Yorkshire."

"What in the world-" that was almost outta town.

"I know I know... Its a long story I'd tell you when.... if...you're able to get me. Shafa please I'm begging you... Its cold, dark and ....there are shady guys walking around please. "

Uggghhhhhhh! "Gimme 30...." I had already started getting out of bed. "Please dont get kidnapped before I get there. Where in Yorkshire?"

She gave an excited shriek "Thank you thank you thank you! I love you for this one...." Sure Ronke. "I'm at the Esso gas station on.." there was a pause. I figured she was getting her location. I wore my sneakers. "On Belfast and Eden"

"Ok.. see you."

**************************************************************************************************************

She literally ran into the car.

"Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!" She let out a relieved sigh. "Shafa Johnson!" she paused for a breath and turned to me. I just shook my head. Drama Queen. Everything is soo EXTRA. "You???" Ehen? Me... "You just saved my life. Thank you...!!!!"

"You owe me Ronke.." man.. I shouldn't have said that, babe might take it the wrong -

"Of course Shafa... I hate debts." she smiled in an evil way. "So I pay them back quite....quickly." Uh oh.

"Where are you heading?"

"Home......."

I made a U turn and started making our way back into town. I knew she was watching me.

"Is there a problem?"

"Not even... " she smirked then turned to look out the window....I glanced at her.

See, the thing here is, Ronke is a VERY attractive girl. Ass, check. Titties, check, Skin tone, Damn. Hair n make up always on point iLke the girl was well put together. She matured quite early because lest I forget the babe is not even 23 yet. But shes a fire cracker this one all mixed with insanity...she WILL harm a brother. Which is why I know alarms are sounding because this was a very dumb move. I shouldn't have come to pick her. Plus she can be very... what word can I use now... manipulating? in a non manipulative manner. You would just not know when you end up in a very compromising position with her. She jumped like she remembered something

"Yes o! Hmnnn!!! What happened to meeee" again, Drama queen in Full effect. She was kinda cute though when she did all her antics. "Sooo-oooo My friend Mallorie calls me to go out with her tonite to a house party in Yorkshire, She was gonna give me a ride, buy my booze, she was catering to ME tonight.. so of course SCHUUUPIIDD Ronke prances along all spazzed out for a night of mayhem only to get to this God forsaken part of town" she jabbed her hands in the air gesturing at the area..."and the bitch stands me up to run off with some Indian Boy!" she opens her mouth like "Oh My God"...

I front surprise. "Are you for real?? A ya!..." I really didst sympathize with her. Buu-uutt, I did empathize with a waste of such a nice ensemble...she looked good though I must say...

"Like-eeee the boy wasnt even fine!!! Uh NEVER again.!!" she clucked her tongue and smacked her hands.

"Sorry oh, next time you'll stay home and be a good student." I wasn't even joking.

She punched my arm and giggled like I was joking. "You're not serious..." She adjusted her seat like she was uncomfortable...."Can you turn down the heat please...." she made a face showing her discomfort then started shrugging out of her jacket.

'Ronke its -15 outside......"

"And its 35 degrees in here, I know your Nigerian but Damn! Me Im a posh babe o, I dont like heat......." I turned it down a bit "...except of course in the right context."

Play if off Shafa. "Sure Ronke... aje pako like you? I doubt it. You must be freezing your ass off in that outfit..." I made the mistake of turning to confirm the outfit she was wearing. Shit. This Jazabel had on a see through blouse...............................*gulp* "You gotta be cold. Dont be fronting there that your ajebota and come and catch cold tomorrow oh"

"I'll be fine Shafa...." She giggled my name like som'n was funny. Her voice had toned down...wasn't high pitched any more............borderline husky.

I focused on the white striped on the road as they zoomed by, Better than thinking of the woman beside me in my vehicle at this ungodly hour. I turned up the music to get rid of the awkward silence..."Lovers and Friends" just happened to be the sound track.I dont know why I was uncomfortable with this. I flipped the CD...CD 3, some Tupac. That should be good.

We were driving in silence and my mind was finally wandering away into nothingness as we started entering the city well.

"I'm attracted to you."

"Whoa..." that came from. no where.

"I know....I'm bad right?" rhetorical question there.... "Like my own cousin's man...................." We were getting to her street. "Turn right at the light...."

"I know...."

"You still remember where my house is....?" sounded like a trick question. I ignored the question and made the turn weaving my way through the one way roads to finally get to her house. She had been watching to see if I'd make a wrong turn, I almost made one just so I won't look like a ....like I kept directions to her house for any specific reason..........................................................

"Wow Shafa... Impressive." I smiled at her and slowed down to a stop in front of her house.... "Thanks a million Shafs... I owe u................"

"Don't even worry about it." See? God... I turned her down o!!

"No.. I insist ...." She started wearing her coat and while she stretched to get her arms into the sleeves, her chest pressed hard against her shirt and .....freaking babe.. She's cold......Or....turned on. Either way her body was responding to -

"I'll make you lunch."

"Huh?" I was lost.

"Lunch... Food.. I'll make it for you...?" She was smiling cause she knew I had seen. Damn this girl. I REALLY need to keep away from her.Especially during the night........Winch.

"Don't bother Ronke, I wanna live to see my kids ehn?"

She put her hand to her chest like she was insulted. "I'll surprise you." She gave a half laugh and in flash speed she leaned forward and pecked me on the cheek. "Thanks Shafa...really appreciate this!" And she was out the car. Like nothing happened.

What in the world...? Did I.....Why do I feel like I just cheated on Yale?

S2 W5. These are my....

2010-01-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

Curiosity kills the cat.

That was all that was on my mind as I parked my car and walked into Stanley's, eyes searching for A-hole. Unfortunately, he is a good looking brother. And he dresses sharp. And my eyes by default spot people like this in a heart beat. So. He wasn't hard to find.

I walked up to him.

"I took the liberty of ordering you a brownie and hot chocolate"

Damn him for being acquainted with a best friend of mine, consequently knowing my weaknesses. I mumbled a thank you. That didn't stop me though from saying a quick sanctification prayer.... lest we forget we are sitting across from cult boy o. Plus God minus satan. I dove in.

"So....." I finally looked up to take a good look at him. He looked worn out. He had coarse but FULL African kind of hair, so I could tell he had ran his hands a couple of times over it cause of how rough it looked. It wasn't a bad look.Come to think of it.....

"Yea...by the way thanks for showing up." He rubbed his hands against his pants like he was nervous or something. "I was thinking I was going to have to give your food to charity."

Small talk. Small talk. No time. "Toba, what is going on?" meaning. Tell me EVERYTHING. From second ONE! Now!

He didn't waste time. Sharp boy. "I was initiated into my dad's secret society when I was 15." He paused for effect. Like this was news to me...

"Er...I know...." Me maa I flexed small muscle and continued eating my brownie like this was stale gist, WHICH it was. If he was surprised he masked it well.

"I figured....." He gave me a suspicious look "Who told you?"

"Does it matter....? Just sha understand some of us know you're not....." I refused to finish my sentence.

He just smiled at the silent insult and continued. "Anyways...I wasn't really sure what was going on, but all I knew is, apparently I was becoming a man, and this was how the process was. Shocking, Painful, but VERY fruitful." he paused. "In the short term that is. I went to UniLag...got accepted for Business Admin. Well... I kind of paid my way into school, but that's little details. " So the point of all this information is......?? As if he heard my thoughts. "Point is that, I probably wasn't supposed to be in school, but Money paired with the fact I was a legit and the youngest member of Olode* (Read S1, W4 for more) which is the name of the..."

"Again... all this is fluff gist..."

"Oh." He sat back again.

"Ok let me help you here in telling me what I DON'T know." I had demolished the brownie and was energized now. "Toba, why is Suni's getting rid of this baby SO important to you?"

He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands through his hard and over his face. Yes Toba this is a freaking interrogation.

"The baby is my first seed." he said the last part with animated quotations. "Technically, my first seed is for Olode. This is my payment for the security, wealth, good health blah blah that has been given to me for the last 15 years and is meant to secure the same for the next ..... however long. The deal was... my first seed or me."

"But........ are you STILL a cultist?"

"No...."

"Then....?"

"Yale, its a bit more complicated than that. I cannot just opt out of a cult. Out of THIS cult. I'm going to either have to give Suni up.... because she is the closest person to me. Or......they take her any ways... along with the baby because I broke the deal."

"I thought you said it was baby or you... how does Suni now become collateral for your stupidity now?"

"Suni is the love of my life Yale.... " He said it like D'uhhh...He waited for that to marinate for a bit....It was..... but I still had questions

"Ok....how does killing the baby solve your problem. The way your talking this your group knows how to getchu...."

"If the baby dies BEFOOREE it is due.... Then all I have to do is give up all my wealth. I mean EVERYTHING. And they make me..... sterile." It was like he choked on the word.

Ah Ah.. this thing wasn't joining well in my head.

"The baby is not dying Toba. You're MURDERING it. I'm sure your devil friends would know the difference"

"Not even Yale.....not even." He sat forward again like he was about to make his selling pitch. "Yale, the riches, the wealth mean NOTHING ...-"

"And your future "children"".. I used my eyes to point at his crotch.

"Well..... I would give that up to save Suni.." He looked me directly in the eye... and I... I believed him. For that moment. "Yale if she keeps this baby, they will take the baby AND her. I am 100% and MORE sure of that. They would want to get back at me for playing them.. these guys are blood thirsty, before they finish me off, they will make sure I suffer..... Suni is the only way they can make me suffer." This wasn't making sense, but it was making sense at the same time.

"So you want to kill baby so you and Suni can live.....?"

"And be free from this nonsense."

"They won't bother you after that?"

"After I say what happened to the baby, I'd give up everything I have and go back for cleansing - "

"Cleansing?"

"Taking of my sperm Yale."

"Oh." He shook his head like I was dumb. Well Sorry I'm not with the latest cult terms!!!

"....and we will be done with all that." He sat back. again.....and ran his hands over his face and hair.

"So why tell me all this?"

"So you can understand the danger Suni is in if she keeps the baby and maybe.... you can convince her other wise."

"So you want me to go back and tell my best friend to KILL her FIRST baby because her boyfriend was STUPID enough to join a cult and now has put her in danger ? So to appease the angered cult leaders we have to literally RUIN her life?" after I stated it like that it seemed so STUPID. "You are on drugs Toba." I finished my hot chocolate. "Cheap CHEAP ones." I looked around for my bag.

"Wait Yale..."

"Wait for WHAT? You must be fucking kidding me. Like seriously Toba. What kind of selfishness is that?"

"And your being unselfish by not even AT LEAST trying to save Suni?" Oh.... Oh.... he was going to play dirty like that. "Do you believe what Ive told you?"

"Quite frankly no. I think its a pack of shit."

"So you're waiting until she disappears or turns up dead before you get it?"

"SHUTTUP Toba!"

"No.... seriously. You've come here Im quite sure with a preconceived idea that Ive come to lie to you or makeup fairy tales, so you wrote me off already. I love Suni, Yale.... I don't know about you"

"I love Suni!-"

"Then tell her....convince her."

I let out a frustrated sigh. This boy....... THIS BOY...!

"How do you intend on "staging" this murder.... " because that sounded VERY sketchy to the random eavesdropper I added "of an abortion."

"Leave that to me. But just convince Suni, Yale... make her listen to me..... Please.... I ... I need her to be safe. Not to be dragged into this."

"Well you've already done the opposite of all that genius." I looked around for my bag. Picked it up. "thanks for the snacks" I stood up. "I'll tell her everything you've said, not because I believe you or I think you're right, but because I'm scared stiff for her saftey. "

He stood up too "Thank-"

"Wait o..... understand NOW!!" I held my ear to emphasize that he listen CAREFULLY." am NOT going to try to convince her to do anything as absurd and as heartless as killing her own child. You hear?" he didn't answer me. "Toba Anuti do you understand?"

"Sure."

"If she calls you back lucky you. If she doesn't................." I don't even know.... "I don't know. But please.... dont contact me again. I'm not up for spooky stories every-time I hear from you. Seriously Toba. Please leave me alone. I want to live to see my grand children. Ehn? Please...." I put on my jacket. All the while he watched me not saying anything. He looked....frustrated. I had some balls insulting this guy like this o, image he just changed me to yam now. Ah...its time to go o. I finished buttoning up my coat. I gave a fake smile. "Take care."

I walked out. The hairs on the back of my neck standing from the RUBBISH he had just told me and because something was just not joining with this whole tales by moonlight ish. Plus I know the creep was watching me.

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