W19. Psychic

I was smiling, for God knows what reason. This was not a smiling matter. But I was smiling, waiting for Suni to answer this blessing's to earth's question. He raised and eyebrow.

"Suni, he's not a mind reader...." I didn't even look at her. Hehe, not my fault my eyes were occupied.

"I think I'm pregnant." Something in the way she said it made me look at her. She looked defeated. I held her hand. But I also felt maybe I should let her

"Ok..." he dropped his pen in the little holder thing on his pad. "I'm assuming you've taken a home test-" She didn't even wait for him to finish the question.

"It could be false right, there's a..." she hung her head."there's a chance?"

Dr. Arinze was watching her really closely, like I was, he waited until she looked back at him "Let's find out..." he wrote some notes down.

I squeezed Suni's hand and smiled at her. I wanted her to not forget that I'm here. Whether I was to be come an aunty prematurely today or not. Arinze asked a few more questions and summoned the nurse.

The short but long wait to clarity begun.


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I had left the room when Suni went to pee and came back. Dr Arinze, in all his glory, had left the room to do whatever it is doctors do when they leave the room.

"Suni, let me wait outside."

"You dey fear too se?" She didn't laugh, but I knew she was trying to lighten the tension.

I hugged her as I left. She didn't argue so I knew she didn't mind being alone for whatever was coming her way.

I didn't go far though, just around the corner so that I could be there when she came out.
I flopped down on the chair, and dropped my bag, letting lose a LONG sigh. This was crazy crazy crazy crazy. Suni? A baby? Mennnnn...

The nurse that attended to us walked by me, she paused.
"She'll be fine" she used her head to nod towards the room Suni was.

"You think?" I wasn't being rude, I just needed the medical assurance.

"Keep an eye on her, she looks like she takes things hard" she gave me a reassuring smile and continued on her way.

Did that mean that Suni was?

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I must've been lost in thought because I didn't know Suni had come out until she tapped me. I jumped up. Her eyes where normal. She looked fine. Not happy not sad, just fine.

"So.........?" I bent down to pick up my bag

"You've changed nappy before ba?"

She smiled a very disheartened smiled and turned towards the exit.

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"I feel different."

She was facing the window. We were almost back home and she was silent as usual. Me I just did my own part and drove, I wasn't even in the mood to ask questions. Baby? Hia.

"As in?"

"Like, I feel different about this."

"You wanna keep it?"

She smiled...."No.. I don't, but I'm almost scared to find out what Toba's going to say."

I hadn't even thought of the boy. "Wait..if I recall clearly, when you told me about the family situation, you mentioned he wanted to just cut off and start his own family. So.." She looked at me, almost confused "So.. that means this is..he's want this?" I wasn't even sure if I was asking or stating a fact.

"He wants a family, but I'm sure not NOW."

I pulled up into her driveway. De' was sitting outside with mommy. Uh-oh.

"SHHHIIIITTT" Suni, in panic, ducked down.

"SUNI WAHT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, RELAX JO!" I pulled her up with my right hand. What the hell? Such a foolish move, now I'm sure they'd think something was up. "Freak man..." she sat back up , slouched like she was hiding. My God this girl was dense."Suni, you need to remain calm, they are going to be asking questions, we need answers." I slowly parked. "Ok, we went for breakfast, you're distraught about the family problem, it's affecting you. PERIOD. any questions outside the scope of this story shall be answered with 'I don't want to talk about it.' Oya.." I turned off the engine, took a deep breath, copy-pasted my smile and exited the car. Whether Suni was following or not that was her cup of tea.

"Good evening De'" I curtsied "Hey Ma..." I hugged them both. De' hugged me back but er eyes were fixed on, I'm sure it was Suni, behind me.

"Mhmm Yale. You're ok?"

"Yes Aunty, just came to drop Suni" I turned to find out what was taking Suni so long. She was behind me.

"Hello mommy, hello aunty" she mumbled the greeting. Who wouldn't THINK there was something wrong. Gosh.

"Ah ah, Suni, hope all is well you're not looking to good." I had to shake my head, Trust my mom to call out what ever suspicions De' was obviously having.

"Aunty I'm fine, just stressed and tired." At least she remembered the plan.

"Mom we're just going to grab a bite inside for a bit. Are you coming back with me?" Theier stay at the hotel was meant to have expired today.

"Yes, but I'm going back tomorrow.." Oh. This was news.

"Really? So Soon...." Suni used this conversation to escape inside, I didn't miss De's eyes watching her like a hawk.

"Yes now, you think I dont know that I'm inconviniencing you? Don't worry my husband misses me, So I'm going."

I wasn't going to argue with her, but I laughed it off as a joke and made small talk, hoping to God that Suni was recuperating inside, she had better not think that it was done o. De' was just waiting for me to stop talking and leave and I'm sure to attack her. I'd call tonight.

We talked some more and I excused myself to go inside to "grab a bite" aka talk with Suni and prep her for the incoming storm.

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"So... what did Arinze advice?" I had entered her room and didnt bother to take off my shoes before sitting on the bed. Was that a blush?

"Before I lament on this situation, and just so you know we are NOT talking about it here..." she stretched her neck towards the door signaling me to be careful. "Walls have ears aka my Mom is like a dog, she can hear my heart beat I'm sure!"

"Ya ya I gorrit...."

"Bottom line is he agrees with you."

"He does?" it was my turn to blush.

"What's doing this one?" she let out a long hiss... see jealousy o.

"Mennnn Suni...that guy is.." words failed me...."he is...heaven sent!! Can i hear an Amen?"

She laughed... as in genuinely laughed. "I wont lie I almost agreeed with him JUST because of his face. Did you see his eyyyeeess??"

I faked a fainting as we both laughed and recaped the beauty of Dr. Arinze. Apparently Suni had another appointment for 2 weeks. If baby was still there. I begged her to keep baby till then JUST so we had reason to see Rinz again. Ofcourse she declined. As I was grovelling more, there was a knock and De' popped her head in.

"Aku, He's here." she said it with so much....heart ache.

Suni almost lifted mood fell right back down.

I waited till De' closed the door and I heard her footsteps fading into teh living. "You gonna tell him?"

"Better now than later abi?"

I nodded in agreement and stood up, getting my things together. "I'll call you tonight."

"Sure"

"Can I telll Shafa...?"

"I can see you two have nothing to talk about that's why you're using me as gist." I opened the door ans we started to make our way to the living room. "Sure.....he's gonna get to know anyways..."

I saw Toba sitting in the living room trying to look relaxed as De' and Mommy stared him down. Well just De', mommy was doing like she was watching tv. "Sup Toba"

"Yale, was good now."

Small talk in the midst pf tension I could cut with a knife. Poor guy.
I summoned mom and we said our goodbyes and headed out the door. De' following suit to her room.

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Me and mommy made our way back home. She mentioned her plans for exit back to Nigeria tomorrow and I listened rying to fit the whole thing into my schedule for tomorrow. My boss wouldn't be happy that I had to leave early. But Ah wells... I was nodding at something she said when she another thing that caught my attention big time.

"You know, Hadiza and I are not children. We are mother's" Ah! And.....? I took my eyes off the road for a minute to look at mommy. She was still looking forward. "All these things you as children are experiencing we have either experienced or witness someone experience it before."

"Ok..??Mom... " I let out an uncomfortable laugh. She looked at me then.

"Suni -" she started, in my anxiety to know where this was leading I maybe answered too fast?

"Ehen? What about her?"

"She went to the hospital for what today?"

"Er......." Ye!!! See roadblock ooooo!!!!! "I'm not sure for what, why?"

"You're not sure." she said it so conclusively that I felt she might have an idea. But I die if I sell out before getting nabbed.

"Nope, she's been very secretive lately, I'm just trying to be here for her... with all, the.... the stress and stuff... you know"

Mommy just smiled and shook her head. "Yes, I know..." I looked at her again and from the way she looked back at me I confirmed that she knew. How in world....????

W17b. A Slight Change of Plans

Suni collapsed on the toilet. Tears were running down her face, but she wasn't even crying... I picked up the test and as much as I dreaded, but now expected. There was a there was an extra faded red line.

I really didn't know what to say. I hugged her as she...just sat. Me I started crying. God knows why tears started running down MY cheeks. I felt...weird. Some next level kind of mixture of feelings like this. Like I was happy, but sad, but confused, but scared, but feeling for Suni. I don't even know if she was happy or not.

We were in the stall for a bit. Another lady came into the washroom,saw us and.... left.

"Suni...stand up..." she was still silently crying..."Stand up...Let's go..." She didn't argue, she didn't agree. She just let me pull her up and we walked out. From the washroom, to the exit.

Screw breakfast.

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We had been driving around for about an hour? maybe more... my cellphone rang.

"Good or bad news?" it was Shafa.

"I don't even know myself...." I looked over at Suni, she was still staring into space. She had stopped crying, but she still hadn't said a word. "I don't even know..."

"Hm....I'm going to run some errands for a bit. Are you coming back home soon?" I caught that.

"No, I don't think I'll be back for a while...."

"K see you when you get back. Hug Suni for me...."

"K..." My tank was on E...gas station o..."Shafa says to hug you." the silence hadn't been bothering me for the past hour or so that we'd been driving, but now that I had finally spoken..(to someone) It just felt weird.

"Suni..I don't know how to feel now cause I don't even know how you feel. Are you sad? Or....Like...is this a... totally catastrophic thing?" She moved, adjusted her seat. At least I got something. "Like...I mean.. you love... at least that's what you told me....you love him. Right?" Nothing. "Maybe you jumped the gun here, but at least its not with a total douche...he's an OOOOKKK person.." she laughed. a dead laugh... but one nonetheless. "I just wish you'd say something. I'm really at a loss here"

"I'm confused as hell Yale." Her voice sounded weird now that she had finally spoken. It sounded different. "I've just gone from yay to...huh?????" I crawled into a gas station that I spotted, but just parked on the side. "I don't know how Toba is going to take this. I don't know how I'M going to take this. I'm not ready for a child..........not now."

"You know we have to go to the doctors to confirm right?"

"2 stripes, doctors note. Same difference."

"Suni, for real, some of these tests are faulty."

"You're right...."

"This doesn't have to be a bad thing-"

"But it's not the right time." her voice cracked. "I CANNOT take care of a baby right now, so either way its has to..."

Excuse me??? "Has to what?" I did NOT like that tone.

"Either ways I can't do it Yale." She ran her hands over her face and looked up to the roof. She was crying again....she tried opening the door. it Was locked... she started struggling with it...

"Wait relax jo..." I undid the safety lock "I'm unsure of where you're getting at..."

"I'M SAYING IF IT IS FOR REAL I CANNOT GO THROUGH WITH IT. IT HAS TO GO." She opened the door and got out.

I didn't even follow her. I felt like she had just thrown cold water in my face to wake me up. Go where? Is this girl on crack? Suni and I had talked about this before... way back in Uni. We had had the pro-life, pro-choice argument time and time again. She was pro-choice, I was pro-life. I was simply not able to comprehend the idea of playing God. She had understood that, or so she claimed. I remember, I always said, "let's just hope we don't find ourselves in that situation."

She was considering abortion. Because of what? She CAN'T do it? BECAUSE OF FLIPPING WHAT?

I got out of the car.

"You must be insane Suni." She was sitting on the sidewalk. "If you can give me 3 valid reasons for considering such a... such a..." I couldn't even find the word. This girl had NO GOOD reason. not a SINGLE one... to consider abortion.

"I'm not ready." she used her fingers to count. "I can GUARANTEE you Toba isn't either " she counted number two on her hand. "and I AM NOT READY" Finger number three.

"Wow... you mean our selfishness has reached this level?"

"Please Yale, don't start with your mother Theresa talks-"

"I shouldn't start? You think you have not caused enough stress? You now want to go and endanger you life because of some selfish streak you refuse to curb?"

"What stress am I causing?"

"Are you kidding me right now Suni?"

"No enlighten me, miss I am perfect I can do no wrong."

"Oh wow."

"Yes now... shebi you're the one that has to make "ethical" decisions, you're the one who's faced with this problem and can make REASONABLE decisions" she stood up "Oya. Tell me the stress I'm causing for you!!"

How pointless was this? I'm here trying to talk sense and she's here trying to turn the whole thing around. How is it that she can stand here and say I'm being unethical when I say considering abortion is selfish. Because I'm not in that situation? What STUPID nonsense is that? Its just like asking me how do I know fire can burn me when I haven't stood inside?

"You know what. Never mind... we need gas."

"No now.... talk? Cause I'm confused as to how you're so sure I might be making a wrong decision"

"Abeg enter the car let's go. I'm tired." I walked back to the car.

"That's what I thought." She followed.
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"Don't tell Shafa....." We hadnt said anything to each other from the gas station. We were at her house now.

"He's going to ask me."

"Well don't say anything."

"I'll tell him you said that." I turned into her drive way. she paused before she got out.

"Yale, I didn't say I'm going to do it, but I have to think. I can't just accept this without weighing my options."

"It's not just YOUR option anymore...." She didn't say anything. "If you need anything call me k?" She nodded and started to get out of the car. "Don't forget to make an appointment." She nodded again. "Like NOW!"

"Yes mommy."