S2 W9. What God has put together....

Ronke had literally jumped into Shafa's car. I was tempted to call her out and be like "yo, what are you doing", but that was the least of my problems now. Besides I trust Shafa... and I know he doesn't even like her like that  so....yea....

Ronke literally jumped into my car sha. This babe goes haarddd! Yale had looked suspicious for a bit. But then she smiled it off like it wasn't possible. I plead with her mentally to carry this woman from my hand. She walked up to me...

I walked up to him and I know Ronke was watching me. But who cares. I tiptoed (cause Shafa's tall like that) and I kissed him. I kissed him hard enough to let him know I still wanted him as bad as the first time... and soft enough to let him know I wasn't worrying.  I trust him. I refuse to use words to express these things because..... sometimes.. actions speak wayyy louder than words. I slowly came back down on my feet... and to earth. I looked up at him...straight into his eyes....

Yup. I love her.

Period. Full stop. End of story.

Shes literally everything I want in a woman all stuffed up in one body. And that body is here in front of me. Wanting me back. She was looking at me like she was inside my head. Like she could see the whole back and forth with Ronke.. and it was like she....trusted me not to do anything.  More than I trusted myself. That's a woman for you....a right woman...

"Erm..... ok. So... I'll go with Shafa ba?" I didnt have to look at Ronke to tell she was irritated.


I smiled at my main object of focus and patted his face with my hand. "See u later babe..." I looked at Ronke and just laughed. "Before nko? you think I want your wahala in my vehicle." I walked to my car and dialed Suni's number. I hope she was home.

***************************************************************************************************************

I was done my shift for the day...but I really wasn't craving for my bed as usual. I was hoping to run into Suni somehow. The girl hadn't stopped being on my mind since.....since she first came to confirm her pregnancy. Then we had that moment when she was admitted... but after that I had seen her only once... I ran into her late one night at Walmart. I remember spotting her in line from the end of the aisle. Tiny, wearing some huge sweater thingy. It made her look even smaller. She looked fuller though... body wise. He face was healthier, but her features still sharp. And her hair was different. It was curly now, but pulled back in a pony tail. The girl was nothing short  (no pun intended) of stunning. I hadn't even realize when I had walked up to help her.

"Arinzee...." she had looked surprised to see me. A good surprised. That made me happy.

"Hey mama"

"Ugh please... dont call me that" I swiped the bags from the counter and from her hands, there were four in total.

"All this grub for you?"

"I'm eating for two, its allowed." she was smiling really hard. She had lovely teeth and perfect lips to accentuate them.

"True True." I waited for her to walk in front of me so she could lead the way.

"Just got off work I suppose...." She walked towards one of the lonely cars in the parking lot. A dark blue Yaris. Cute.

"Yup......................" she opened the trunk and I dropped the bags. "Needed to browse the mart to see what I can pick up to eat."

"Aww.............................." she stood there smiling. I stood there waiting.... for what I dont know. She looked at her car as if contemplating...."Want me to help you choose between WonderBread and NoName?"

And that's how Suni and I spent the next 1 hour. in that time I found out she was even more stunning that I had first thought. She was very comical, extremely picky, and she always broke things down. She was hella sexy. She kept biting her lips when it came down to choosing. I remember it was ground beef time. There was the one that was $3.29 and on one that was fresh and the $4.50 one that was obviously more, but was about to expire. Naturally I would've picked the $4.50 one, but this woman stood there weighing pro's and cons of picking the $3.50 one. She would bite her lips then weigh them both in her hands... then give a reason why one is better. We stood there for 5 minutes... I watched her battle. Hell, ground beef wasn't THIS important to me, but i loved this performance she was giving. The girl was entertaining. We finally went with $4.50.   We had talked about everything in this one hour. She was doing fine with the baby... almost 2 months now. She subtly mentioned an issue with the father of the child that peaked my interest. I would love to know more....Anyways our impromptu midnight Walmart rendezvous had come to end. I was with groceries and the prettiest girl in the store. I was a happy man.

We said out good bye's in the parking lot and that was it. The moment she drove away, I waited for her to do that, I felt... lonely. That was the moment my apartment stopped being appealing to me. Ever since I have dragged my feet to go home after work. Today the feeling was worse. I missed Suni. Weird feeling cause I really dont know her, but ya... I miss her. So being a doctor, trained to act quickly and make concise decisions swiftly. I call.

***************************************************************************************************************


Suni was responding better than I expected to the whole Toba story...I remember thinking I would be there for hours trying to simmer down what I thought would be a major blowup in anger, but no. Suni had blown off the whole thing like there was nothing to worry about.She truly believed Toba cared for her and was borderline going crazy because of her saftey. She said she was not going to get rid of the baby though.... but everything would be fine.Whatever it is. Babe was floating on some cloud and didn't give a damn what Toba thought. I was happy and sad. Happy that she wasn't giving him the time of the day, but sad that I didn't understand her total disregard for the situation. I expected more..........drama.

"So.. what are you going to do?"

She laughed... "Nothing Yale... I'm just going to keep on existing, I wont kill myself for someone else......that is not my child" she added as an after thought. Her phone rang.... and this girl,, I swear, started blushing. YES I could see it through her dark skin.

"Hey you...." she mouthed A.r.i.n.z.e

"Ah ha......" I smiled back...maybe that's why she was so.... euphoric.


"I'm fine.... Im making lunch" she listened for a moment and laughed... "You're not serious! Im eating for twooooo" and walked away into the next room, like I wasn't even there. Hmm na wa o! I walked after her... my amebo antenna alert.


"you cant cook ground beef? Arinze its EASY!" She was laughing again. I tapped her and told her to put it on speaker phone. She kicked me in reply. Love wan tin tin.. Makes a girl kick her best friend. My phone rang... Shafa.

"Hey babe.."

"Still at Suni's?"

"Ya.....but I'm leaving... shes being toasted outta her manners..."

"Are you serious? Who??"

"Dokita of course...."

"Oh...." He laughed but remained silent small.. something was up...


"Wassup....?"


"Nothing.... just wanted to ask... " He coughed... "Ok this would be weird, but I just wanted to ask if you'd like to go on a date with me?"

I burst out laughing..."You're on crack....why??"


"Seriously Yale....I want to take you out today...."

He sounded so serious....He WAS serious.....I decided to play along.. " Hmm... I dont know, I have to check my schedule"


"It's free jo...i'll pick you at 7:30?"

"See your head."

"Please wear that black dress you wore to my send off..." Oh wow... he noticed what I wore?? "And if you;re wondering... yes I noticed. You burned an image of you in my head with that dress.............."

I was blushing so hard right now....giving Suni a run for her moneyy!! I had already worn my shoes and let myself out. I was almost running to my car to start getting ready......"I guess Ill see you at 7 then Mr. ITK...."


"Yessssssssssssssssssssssssss!" I had to laugh cause the guy REALLY sounded excited. Hell I was excited too.... I guess I gotta go get pretty for my man.... I wonder where Ronke is....? Hmn...

**************************************************************************************************************
"Is this 'Nova?"

I knew the voice. "Yes Sir"

"We will be in the area over the weekend. Make yourself available."

"Yes Sir."

The line went dead. I guess.... time has come.

S2 W8. Ignorance is Bliss

Always talking! Ronke can NOT shuttup. Lai lai. She was on her phone when she entered the office.....without knocking! Might I add. She froze for a split second when she saw me. Like she was surprised.

“E ye o! Yale since when??”

“I should as you the same question.” She was holding a Swiss Chalet take out bag in her hand. What the… “I see you brought lunch…” I eyed the bag.

She held it up “Yaaaa…..” then dropped it again “Seems like I’ll be eating alone.”

I did NOT appreciate the way this conversation sounded. I felt I was sharing my man. I don’t know. This was just not rubbing me the right way. “Mhmn…” Or maybe I was just being paranoid. Ronke, loud mouth as she is, is still a sweetheart…………………………

Shafa coughed and stood up. “Ronke what’s really good? This is a pleasant surprise.” He pointed to the couch on the other side of the office. He walked to my side and sat on the table beside me.

She smiled to herself, like she understood something and it was funny. “I was just in the hood o, you know me now, I'm trying to skip that literature class. If to say the man was fine now… maybe, but caaaaammmaaaaannnn” She dropped the bag on the floor and leaned back into the chair. “So what are you two lovebirds up to?”

I looked at Shafa, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. Reflex.

“Yale here surprised me and brought lunch. When I didn’t even know I was hungry. We just chilling…..” he winked at me and I laughed. Reflex again. I swear… when he’s goofy, I can’t help but relax.

My instinct was alert though. That I couldn’t ignore.

“Wait, Ronke, shouldn’t you be wrapping up soon?”

“Im done o, don’t get it twisted, but in order to grad with honors, I need to get an A in this Lit class. Talk about imposi-CANT??” She reached for the Swiss Chalet bag and started opening it up “Please, let me lunch here….Im dying of hunger and than man is just draining the small energy I have left. Can you Imagine…. I was in class o, trying to hold on to the last shred of interest in this dude’s class…….”

I tuned out. As she had started like this. Ronke would not stop until she was tired. She had on makeup today. Well.. she always has on makeup.. but it was….nicer today, like she spent time. And her hair was definitely done, like she didn’t just pack it up and come. It was all straightened and glistening and shit. She looked pretty. She was being animated now…

“He kept on flaying his hands like a retarrdd!!!” she was animating it. Shafa was finding it amusing. I laughed too… but I wasn’t really laughing at her antics per say. I tuned out again.

Not like she was talking to me. Her whole story seemed to be for Shafa. She was even angled towards him.  I know... It seems like Im being overly.... sensitive. Like this is Ronke! Besides even if she's oogling Shafa, it cant be for real. I mean the boy IS good looking. So... hey.

Anyways... I better get 

"Shafa when do you get off?" I didnt mean to cut her little tale short, but I had to go. I looked at Ronke apologetically..."Sorry..."

"Rude Much..."

"Abeg jo, you will talk our ears off if I dont stop  you anyways." I looked back at Shafa... he seemed amused. "Abi?"

"Abeg leave me out of this sha.!!" he threw his hands up and then stood up from the desk and went back to his seat. "I can get off now..."

"Ok, lets go together then..."

"Go where" Ronke and her amebo tendencies. I pray for this girl o!

"No where that concerns your class skipping class. Im gonna call your mom."

"Uh" she did her mouth like she was digusted at my attempt to be elderly. "See you.... If you like, tell now." She stood up and  over exaggeratedly adjusted her obviously  fitting jeans...ran her hands over her jeans again, at that moment I happened to turn back to Shafa to want to ask him to speed up and.....maybe it was just my eye.... but I can SWEAR he was checking her out. Like... he was looking through the corner of his eye at her. But then he looked at me so casually ...it was  like... that didnt happen.

Yeah... I was just being paranoid.

"Dont even tell me to hurry Yale... your mouth is already twisting." I had to smile.

"What -evvvver."

Ronke took a deep loud breath behind us. "Since y'all are ditching me....."

"Dont go and graduate, be feeling ditched there..." Shafa finished whatever he was rounding up on the computer and grabbed his jacket.

"The two of you... wont kill me." He walked to the door and opened it."After you ladies...."

I started making my way to the door. Good thing we were moving anyways, this office was getting stuffy, I was beginning to hallucinate and imagine things and I needed to get to Suni's early if I wanted to get home early today. "Seriously Ronke, stop skipping class you need it to  graduate......"


*************************************************************************************************************

Yale was ranting again. I love that girl but .....

Ronke walked by me at that moment. This giirrrllll.. this girrrllllll!!

She mouthed "My place..?"

I shook my head and ushered her out....and yes. I did notice the booty. I actually remember those jeans. Weird, they are burned in my head. Back when we had our....thing. For lack of a better name to call it, those were the jeans the she wore the first day we kinda let our feeling run amuck. I kno them cause of the red threading detail around the ass. They made those jeans for her body alone. I swear.  She knew what she was doing wearing those jeans here today. Thank God for Yale o! I turned to lock my office door. Ronke is not my favorite girl see.....but the girl is something else. If encouraged she will make a pastor sin with no regrets.

"Shafaaa...." Yale was at the exit already. She beckoned to me to hurry up. Ronke was again strategically behind her.

"Calm down jo.." I walked by the reception and waved to Chauncy. "See you later bro."

He gave me the "Nice one" nod. Man... I cant have this kind of news going round the office.. I can only imagine how this seems. ........... "Have a nice one Mr. Johnson."

Ya Ya whatever.

"You're seriously taking you time....." Yale Yale Yale... I smiled sheepishly.

We walked to the parking lot briskly... everyone has to go at Yale's pace. We got there and seeing as Yale brought her car, and I had mine, we had ot now spit.  Yale looked at me....

"Ok.... I guess..." She looked at Ronke... Ronke just innocently looked back at me

"Soooooooo.....Can I get a ride?"

S2 W7. Confidant

"Someone looks forlorn today..." Jackie sat on my desk and started playing idly with a pen while she waited for my attention. I continued typing. "Shafa..." she poked my busy hand with the pen. I looked at her. "Talk to me...."

"Jackie I'm fine....do you have the final drafts so I can start modeling?" Didn't mean to snap, but ya.

"Shafa, I have them but that's not the issue. What's eating at you?" she slid down from the table and finally took the seat opposite me. "Is it Yale?"

"Why would it be Yale?" My problem with some women is that they like to feel like they knowww...

"Because, you're not easily ruffled. Only someone who has a grip on you can ruffle ......you?" she wasn't even smiling when she said that so I knew she wasn't joking. She really believed that. Again she sat, patiently waiting.

Jackie is a very unique person. She's random. Charming. Funny. And shes a looker. I can't lie and say I'd never noticed her good looks, she IS stunning, but we just never clicked like that.  We have steadily been building a very wish washy close friends kinda relationship and...ya. I know however that she's feeling me in some way. Yea, we have deep conversations every now and then and we are like homeboys when we interact, but shes a woman. A very free and open one at that. She can't really mask her feelings when shes around me.  Since she came into town and we were partnered up to work on the lounge project downtown, we had become relatively close. She's had her short comings, lest we forget the drunken incident?? (*Read S1, W15) But she was a great lady. A number of the guys here have bugged me about her. Apparently we are quite the team and it seems Im the only one she gives the time of the day to. The other day Simon, the drafter from 3rd floor whom Ive spoken all but 3 words (Hey, I'm Shafa) to since I started working here came, sat at my desk and asked me, quite rudely, if I was with Jackie. After I denied the hommie didnt even wait for me to finish shaking my head he asked if he could have her number.

"What are you smiling at? What are you thinking?"

I re focused on her face. She had on blood red lipstick today which matched her dress shirt. On any other person this would have been a bit much for the office, but Jackie pulled it off nicely. It was professionally attractive. Made you wanna listen to what she had to say when she spoke.

"Nothing...really... you're just making me laugh with your curiosity." she seemed to blush a bit, she looked away for a split second.

"So... whats ruffling you like this naaa- uuuu" she smiled proudly at her rendition of the word "now". she had been practicing a Nigerian accent because she was recently introduced to Nolly-wood by one of these many razz Nigerian babes in this city that she met at her many....raves.

"You've come again with your half cooked accent" I had to smile back though. I needed to talk with someone. Unbiased, Good listener, Analytical, non judgmental......yea. Jackie would do. "Yale's cousin...female.... is kinda...............digging me." I looked closely to see any trace of reaction that would tell me if I should continue speaking or if Id made the biggest mistake by opening my mouth. She stared blankly back at me as though waiting for more.

"An-nndd this is a problem because.......?" She was confused. "Look, Shafa Im sure you aware of your good looks, sex appeal, charming attitude, I mean you're a very attractive package. I'm quite sure Yale's cousin is not the first to....digg" she demonstrates quotes "..you." Ok.. she was already breaking it down in her head.

"Mm.....The thing is....I find myself still wanting her?" I kinda hung my head at that moment cause that was the main problem.

There. I said it. I am attracted to Ronke.

"O." she mouthed it. Sat back like she finally understood. "Still?" she cocked her eyebrows.

"Don't get me wrong, I dont even like her as a person.... but ... we kinda had a little something be-"

"Hey Guys...." Simon from upstairs poked his BIG red head in. He gave me the "Allow others look" "Er...Shafa, a young lady is at the reception to see you. Yale..." he said it like he was casting me... Idiot.

Jackie looked at me... I didn't have to tell her we'll finish this discussion later. She didn't have to ask. Simon stood there smiling like he had finally won. Such an idiot.

Jackie stood up and straightened her pants., in the process she ran her hands over her thighs and backside. Simon was practically drooling. SUCH a BIGG IDIOT!

"Thanks Simon...." What was Yale doing here sef. She hardly came by my work, and even when she did she never came in.  Well siting here wasn't going to answer the question. We all exited my office.

*************************************************************************************************

He walked towards me slowly. He looked tired. He was in stone grey today agin. the color suited him. I love his walk... like he literally commands attention with his swag.

"Hey Babe..."

I tiptoed to hug him. Snuck a kiss in there. "Hey you..."

"What a pleasant surprise, since when did my work place start to appeal to you?" I knew he would be shocked. But today I felt spontaneous. Besides I wanted to gist him whats been going on with Suni n the cultist.

"I miss you and wanted to surprise you, I even brought lunch" AKA McDonalds.

We started walking to his office. I spotted stunna walking to the elevator. As always she looked annoyingly good. I looked at Shafa to see if he noticed her. He eyes were focused inside the Miki D's paper bag looking for fries. Jackie turned and spotted me. She waved.  I waved back.

"Jackie is waving o" He finally took his eyes off the food and looked. He waved back.

"So...." he munched on a fry. "Thanks by the way," he raised the bag "Didn't even know I was this hungry." We finally got to his office and got settled. He had wolfed down half of the fries already. I just watched him grub. He smiled at me and continued eating. Never really looking at me. Something had to be on his mind. He seemed....distant almost.  Maybe it's work.


"Hows the job? Hope they arent killing you..."

"Man.. its fine o, just need to make sure Jackie gets those drafts to me before the week runs out if not Im screwed with my time line for modeling." He started on the burger.


"Toba confessed to me about everything." He stopped chewing.

"As per......"

"Cult, Father, Suni, Everything."

"Wow....." He wiped his face and put down his barely eaten burger."Its true?"

"From what he said,yes." I actually laughed ..."Wanna know his reason for telling me?" I didnt even wait for him to answer because I was gonna tell him anyways."his reason for telling me...get this" I sat forward because I couldn't wait to give him the outrageousness "He says....Suni's baby is cursed and the cult is going to come after him and her and kill ALL of them." I rolled my eyes for emphasis. "Can anybody be THIS shallow and WEAK to convince the mother of their child the reason to abort is because of CULT members???" I laughed again because now the story was still very funny in my ear.

"Well....."

Ah Ahn "Oh Puh-leaseee!! Dont tell me you believe him Shafa?"

"Not that I do, but the boy IS known to be an Olode. Like this is a known fact." He adjusted in hsi seat. "My worry now is, this is all secret info he has downloaded on you, are you safe??" He looked worried. "Shit, am I safe??"

"Selfish much?" 

"Sorry, but really though........." he looked at me I looked at him, both of us lost in thoughts of how serious this info session via confession could be. "Have you told Suni?"


"I'm going there today... I'm apparently meant to try to convince her with his cock and bull story."

Shafa's phone vibrated on the table. I glanced at it...unconsciously.  He snatched it off the table, but not quick enough for me to have seen who was calling. It was Ronke.What's she calling him for? I bet she's following up on that coffee...that girl is just not serious.It vibrated again.


"Are you going to ignore your ultimate crush?" I teased. He really looked like he wasn't sure if he should pick or not. "Answer the girl oh, before she bursts in here!"

He half smiled and just let it ring. "Abeg leave these things... we have more serious issues on our hands." He picked up his burger again to get chowing. His office phone rang.


"AH - AH!" I clapped my hands together as if I were dusting them. "She even has your office number?" Odd... but then again its Ronke, she has everybody's business at her fingertips.

"What makes you think its her sef?" He picked "Shafa Johnson..." he paused listening. "Are you kidding me?" pause again. "Damn... ok thanks." he dropped the phone then hung his head with a huge sigh.

"Its her abi? Shit I'm too goodd!"

"Save me from your cousin o!! Yale... SAVE ME!!!"

I just laughed and waited for this dear cousin of mine to enter let me scold her for disturbing my man! I snagged an extra fry that Shafa hadn't eaten and just waited.

S2 W6. Blind-ISH Date

My phone was ringing. Off the chain.

I had the mind to ignore it.....

"Hello....?"

"Shafa?..." Female voice.... too high pitched for recognition. I looked at the screen of my phone to see if I recognized the number, it said unknown.

"Ya waddup?.... Who's this?"

"Shafa... its Ronke." In-tresting. Shoulda listened to my instinct.

"Yo wassup you aii?" Not that I really cared. But she WAS calling at an odd hour.

"No not really.... I'm a bit.. stran....ded...?" she broke down the last word like she wasn't sure she should use it. Cause it sounds dodgy? Yes Ronke, it sounds VERY dodgy.

"O....k...?" I broke it down in a similar manner..."So...??" ugh I better give the girl a break. I'm too washed out to play the role of asshole."Ok where are you?"

"Yorkshire."

"What in the world-" that was almost outta town.

"I know I know... Its a long story I'd tell you when.... if...you're able to get me. Shafa please I'm begging you... Its cold, dark and ....there are shady guys walking around please. "

Uggghhhhhhh! "Gimme 30...." I had already started getting out of bed. "Please dont get kidnapped before I get there. Where in Yorkshire?"

She gave an excited shriek "Thank you thank you thank you! I love you for this one...." Sure Ronke. "I'm at the Esso gas station on.." there was a pause. I figured she was getting her location. I wore my sneakers. "On Belfast and Eden"

"Ok.. see you."

**************************************************************************************************************

She literally ran into the car.

"Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!" She let out a relieved sigh. "Shafa Johnson!" she paused for a breath and turned to me. I just shook my head. Drama Queen. Everything is soo EXTRA. "You???" Ehen? Me... "You just saved my life. Thank you...!!!!"

"You owe me Ronke.." man.. I shouldn't have said that, babe might take it the wrong -

"Of course Shafa... I hate debts." she smiled in an evil way. "So I pay them back quite....quickly." Uh oh.

"Where are you heading?"

"Home......."

I made a U turn and started making our way back into town. I knew she was watching me.

"Is there a problem?"

"Not even... " she smirked then turned to look out the window....I glanced at her.

See, the thing here is, Ronke is a VERY attractive girl. Ass, check. Titties, check, Skin tone, Damn. Hair n make up always on point iLke the girl was well put together. She matured quite early because lest I forget the babe is not even 23 yet. But shes a fire cracker this one all mixed with insanity...she WILL harm a brother. Which is why I know alarms are sounding because this was a very dumb move. I shouldn't have come to pick her. Plus she can be very... what word can I use now... manipulating? in a non manipulative manner. You would just not know when you end up in a very compromising position with her. She jumped like she remembered something

"Yes o! Hmnnn!!! What happened to meeee" again, Drama queen in Full effect. She was kinda cute though when she did all her antics. "Sooo-oooo My friend Mallorie calls me to go out with her tonite to a house party in Yorkshire, She was gonna give me a ride, buy my booze, she was catering to ME tonight.. so of course SCHUUUPIIDD Ronke prances along all spazzed out for a night of mayhem only to get to this God forsaken part of town" she jabbed her hands in the air gesturing at the area..."and the bitch stands me up to run off with some Indian Boy!" she opens her mouth like "Oh My God"...

I front surprise. "Are you for real?? A ya!..." I really didst sympathize with her. Buu-uutt,  I did empathize with a waste of such a nice ensemble...she looked good though I must say...

"Like-eeee the boy wasnt even fine!!! Uh NEVER again.!!" she clucked her tongue and smacked her hands.

"Sorry oh, next time you'll stay home and be a good student." I wasn't even joking.

She punched my arm and giggled like I was joking. "You're not serious..." She adjusted her seat like she was uncomfortable...."Can you turn down the heat please...." she made a face showing her discomfort then started shrugging out of her jacket.

'Ronke its -15 outside......" 

"And its 35 degrees in here, I know your Nigerian but Damn! Me Im a posh babe o, I dont like heat......." I turned it down a bit "...except of course in the right context."

Play if off Shafa. "Sure Ronke... aje pako like you? I doubt it. You must be freezing your ass off in that outfit..." I made the mistake of turning to confirm the outfit she was wearing. Shit. This Jazabel had on a see through blouse...............................*gulp* "You gotta be cold. Dont be fronting there that your ajebota and come and catch cold tomorrow oh"

"I'll be fine Shafa...." She giggled my name like som'n was funny.  Her voice had toned down...wasn't high pitched any more............borderline husky.

I focused on the white striped on the road as they zoomed by, Better than thinking of the woman beside me in my vehicle at this ungodly hour. I turned up the music to get rid of the awkward silence..."Lovers and Friends" just happened to be the sound track.I dont know why I was uncomfortable with this. I flipped the CD...CD 3, some Tupac. That should be good.

We were driving in silence and my mind was finally wandering away into nothingness as we started entering the city well.

"I'm attracted to you."

"Whoa..." that came from. no where.

"I know....I'm bad right?" rhetorical question there.... "Like my own cousin's man...................." We were getting to her street. "Turn right at the light...."

"I know...."

"You still remember where my house is....?" sounded like a trick question. I ignored the question and made the turn weaving my way through the one way roads to finally get to her house. She had been watching to see if I'd make a wrong turn, I almost made one just so I won't look like a ....like I kept directions to her house for any specific reason.......................................................... 

"Wow Shafa... Impressive." I smiled at her and slowed down to a stop in front of her house.... "Thanks a million Shafs... I owe u................"

"Don't even worry about it." See? God... I turned her down o!!

"No.. I insist ...." She started wearing her coat and while she stretched to get her arms into the sleeves, her chest pressed hard against her shirt and .....freaking babe.. She's cold......Or....turned on. Either way her body was responding to - 

"I'll make you lunch."

"Huh?" I was lost.

"Lunch... Food.. I'll make it for you...?" She was smiling cause she knew I had seen. Damn this girl. I REALLY need to keep away from her.Especially during the night........Winch.

"Don't bother Ronke, I wanna live to see my kids ehn?"

She put her hand to her chest like she was insulted. "I'll surprise you." She gave a half laugh and in flash speed she leaned forward and pecked me on the cheek. "Thanks Shafa...really appreciate this!" And she was out the car. Like nothing happened.

What in the world...? Did I.....Why do I feel like I just cheated on Yale?

S2 W5. These are my....

Curiosity kills the cat.

That was all that was on my mind as I parked my car and walked into Stanley's, eyes searching for A-hole. Unfortunately, he is a good looking brother. And he dresses sharp. And my eyes by default spot people like this in a heart beat. So. He wasn't hard to find.

I walked up to him.

"I took the liberty of ordering you a brownie and hot chocolate"

Damn him for being acquainted with a best friend of mine, consequently knowing my weaknesses. I mumbled a thank you. That didn't stop me though from saying a quick  sanctification prayer.... lest we forget we are sitting across from cult boy o. Plus God minus satan. I dove in.

"So....." I finally looked up to take a good look at him. He looked worn out. He had coarse but FULL African kind of hair, so I could tell he had ran his hands a couple of times over it cause of how rough it looked. It wasn't a bad look.Come to think of it.....

"Yea...by the way thanks for showing up." He rubbed his hands against his pants like he was nervous or something. "I was thinking I was going to have to give your food to charity."

Small talk. Small talk. No time. "Toba, what is going on?" meaning. Tell me EVERYTHING. From second ONE! Now!

He didn't waste time. Sharp boy. "I was initiated into my dad's secret society when I was 15." He paused for effect. Like this was news to me...

"Er...I know...." Me maa I flexed small muscle and continued eating my brownie like this was stale gist, WHICH it was. If he was surprised he masked it well.

"I figured....." He gave me a suspicious look "Who told you?"

"Does it matter....? Just sha understand some of us know you're not....." I refused to finish my sentence.

He just smiled at the silent insult and continued. "Anyways...I wasn't really sure what was going on, but all I knew is, apparently I was becoming a man, and this was how the process was. Shocking, Painful, but VERY fruitful." he paused. "In the short term that is. I went to UniLag...got accepted for Business Admin. Well... I kind of paid my way into school, but that's little details. " So the point of all this information is......?? As if he heard my thoughts. "Point is that, I probably wasn't supposed to be in school, but Money paired with the fact I was a legit and the youngest member of Olode* (Read S1, W4 for more) which is the name  of the..."


"Again... all this is fluff gist..."

"Oh." He sat back again.

"Ok let me help you here in telling me what I DON'T know." I had demolished the brownie and was energized now. "Toba, why is Suni's getting rid of this baby SO important to you?"

He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands through his hard and over his face. Yes Toba this is a freaking interrogation.

"The baby is my first seed." he said the last part with animated quotations. "Technically, my first seed is for Olode. This is my payment for the security, wealth, good health blah blah that has been given to me for the last 15 years and is meant to secure the same for the next ..... however long.  The deal was... my first seed  or me."

"But........ are you STILL a cultist?"

"No...."

"Then....?"

"Yale, its a bit more complicated than that. I cannot just opt out of a cult. Out of THIS cult. I'm going to either have to give Suni up.... because she is the closest person to me. Or......they take her any ways... along with the baby because I broke the deal."

"I thought you said it was baby or you... how does Suni now become  collateral for your stupidity now?"

"Suni is the love of my life Yale.... " He said it like D'uhhh...He waited for that to marinate for a bit....It was..... but I still had questions

"Ok....how does killing the baby solve your problem. The way your talking this your group knows how to getchu...."

"If the baby dies BEFOOREE it is due.... Then all I have to do is give up all my wealth. I mean EVERYTHING. And they make me..... sterile." It was like he choked on the word.


Ah Ah.. this thing wasn't joining well in my head.

"The baby is not dying Toba. You're MURDERING it. I'm sure your devil friends would know the difference"


"Not even Yale.....not even." He sat forward again like he was about to make his selling pitch. "Yale, the riches, the wealth mean NOTHING ...-"

"And your future "children"".. I used my eyes to point at his crotch.

"Well..... I would give that up to save Suni.." He looked me directly in  the eye... and I... I believed him. For that moment. "Yale if she keeps this baby, they will take the baby AND her. I am 100% and MORE sure of that. They would want to get back at me for playing them.. these guys are blood thirsty, before they finish me off, they will make sure I suffer..... Suni is the only way they can make me suffer." This wasn't making sense, but it was making sense at the same time.

"So you want to kill baby so you and Suni can live.....?"

"And be free from this nonsense."

"They won't bother you after that?"

"After I say what happened to the baby, I'd give up everything I have and go back for cleansing - "

"Cleansing?"

"Taking of my sperm Yale."

"Oh." He shook his head like I was dumb. Well Sorry I'm not with the latest cult terms!!!

"....and we will be done with all that." He sat back. again.....and ran his hands over his face and hair.

"So why tell me all this?"

"So you can understand the danger Suni is in if she keeps the baby and maybe.... you can convince her other wise."

"So you want me to go back and tell my best friend to KILL her FIRST baby because her boyfriend was STUPID enough to join a cult and now has put her in danger ? So to appease the angered cult leaders we have to literally RUIN her life?" after I stated it like that it seemed so STUPID. "You are on drugs Toba." I finished my hot chocolate. "Cheap CHEAP ones." I looked around for my bag.

"Wait Yale..."

"Wait for WHAT? You must be fucking kidding me. Like seriously Toba. What kind of selfishness is that?"


"And your being unselfish by not even AT LEAST trying to save Suni?" Oh.... Oh.... he was going to play dirty like that. "Do you believe what Ive told you?"

"Quite frankly no. I think its a pack of shit."

"So you're waiting until she disappears or turns up dead before you get it?"

"SHUTTUP Toba!"

"No.... seriously. You've come here Im quite sure with a preconceived idea that Ive come to lie to you or makeup fairy tales, so you wrote me off already. I love Suni, Yale.... I don't know about you"

"I love Suni!-"

"Then tell her....convince her."

I let out a frustrated sigh. This boy....... THIS BOY...!

"How do you intend on "staging" this murder.... " because that sounded VERY sketchy to the random eavesdropper I added "of an abortion."

"Leave that to me. But just convince Suni, Yale... make her listen to me..... Please.... I ... I need her to be safe. Not to be dragged into this."

"Well you've already done the opposite of all that genius." I looked around for my bag. Picked it up. "thanks for the snacks" I stood up. "I'll tell her everything you've said, not because I believe you or I think you're right, but because I'm scared stiff for her saftey. "

He stood up too "Thank-"


"Wait o..... understand NOW!!" I held my ear to emphasize that he listen CAREFULLY."  am NOT going to try to convince her to do anything as absurd and as heartless as killing her own child. You hear?" he didn't answer me. "Toba Anuti do you understand?"


"Sure."

"If she calls you back lucky you. If she doesn't................." I don't even know.... "I don't know. But please.... dont contact me again. I'm not up for spooky stories every-time I hear from you. Seriously Toba. Please leave me alone. I want to live to see my grand children. Ehn? Please...." I put on my jacket. All the while he watched me not saying anything. He looked....frustrated. I had some balls insulting this guy like this o, image he just changed me to yam now. Ah...its time to go o. I finished buttoning up my coat. I gave a fake smile. "Take care."

I walked out. The hairs on the back of my neck standing from the RUBBISH he had just told me and because something was just not joining with this whole tales by moonlight ish.  Plus I know the creep was watching me.

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S2 W4. Selfish

He had come for only 10 minutes. But he had come. *sighh* I feel good. So good I had eaten that CRAP this hospital calls food, just so I could have energy for when he came in today. He said he was gonna come by today. He never really said a time though, but whatever, he's going to come. I didnt know I had raised my hand to fix my hair until I felt my hand running and patting the nest down. I looked at the clock. 9:30am. Hmn...

The nurse came in.

"Good Morning Miss Bello." She was a round chirpy lady. Bright red hair and offensively red lipstick. Her tag read....I squinted a bit...I think it read Lisette. Or something.

"Morning...." I smiled and sat up.

"You seem better this morning" she was checking the IV beside me, the machine readings, for baby I figure, etc. I wonder if she REALLY gave a shit about  how I felt this morning or if it was just idle talk while she poked around me.

"I AM better"

"That's good, that's good...." she wrote some stuff down, did some checking again, wrote more stuff down. I silently waited for her to finish. "Ooooooo..." she wrote down more stuff "..kkkk!" she hit the pad like she just wrote a period or something then finally focused on me. I smiled. "Any nausea this morning?"

I shook my head. "Dizziness?" Head shake. "Fatigue?" more head shake. "Are you sure you're pregnant?" She laughed at the rhetorical question. "Ok the doctor would be in to see you shortly." She turned around to leave.

"Er.............Which doctor please?"

"Dr Ndani." She pronounced it Dah-nee... I must've smiled too hard because she smiled back at me like she knew that my tummy was somersaulting and heart was singing.

"Thank you."

*************************************************************************************************************** 

My eyes never left the door after Lisette left. She had said shortly and Oh, I'm a patient one today. I simply just laid there in wait. He came in shortly after.

"Hey you."  He's eyes were on the clip board. I waited for him to look up. He did. Now... My day has begun.

" Morning."

"Rest well?"

"Mhmn... you?"

"3 hours 12 minutes sleep. Heaven"

"That can't be healthy doctor." What's it with me and all these cheesy lines? I cant help it....

"We have been conditioned don't worry." He smiled at me, oo, was that baby moving? How in teh world did he get his teeth soo.... pearly white. "So... are your ready to go home?"

If you're coming with me, sure? I almost said that out loud....."I guess so, I feel fine. The food sucks by the way"

He smiled and walked towards me. I adjusted my seat. He noticed my nervousness.

"I wont make you sick again don't worry, you can relax"

See this guy. Relax when he's a few inches away from me ready to make contact. Which kind dirty Relax!.... I held my breath.

"Really Suni." I let it go."Ok, lets  make sure everything is all right before I sign your release form..."

*************************************************************************************************************** 

"Yale, please can you come and get me from this prison. They have released me o."

"Yaay! Ok I'm coming." my phone beeped showing there was an incoming call. "See  you in a bit, another phone call is coming in" I clicked off....it rang again. Caller ID kicked in.Hiss.... bofun."Yes Toba how can I help you?"

"Is Suni Ok?"

"Is your HEADD ok?? And how does her welfare concern you?" I didnt have time for this conversation. This man had single handedly reduced my friend to.......a malnourished mother.

"Please Yale... she's not the only one suffering here."

"Really? You too are storing a baby in a malnourished body because your boyfriend wanted you to MURDER it and it pushed you to a very dangerous depression. How sad. I never knew." I didnt wait for him to respond. "Look, I have places to go and people see, please go and find another person's life to ruin...."

It was so silent on the other end that I thought he had dropped the phone on me. Then he spoke.

"I just want to know if she's alright.... if she kept it." Oh I was about to kill a mutherf...

"You................." 

"...Yale, it makes no sense she would be MORE fucked up IF she keeps it......you have to under -" I really could not believe this nigga.

"....Ass-hole!"

"...I love Suni....I want her to have my kids, I want her to be my wife......" he took a deep breath. " But this one..... this would kill her.....Literally."

This IDIIIOOT. This Mad Man. This Fooooooooool... This.....This...

"Toba. I think I'm done listening to your BS. Have a blasted day and don't be calling me back or i WILL have cops on your occultist ass." 

What arrant nonsense. Literally my ass. I grabbed my keys and headed for my car. Suni was going to just LOVE hearing this story.

My phone vibrated when I got into the car. it was a text message from Asshole.

URGENT REPLY REQUIRED: This isn't a matter of feelings  now Yale. I promise on my mothers grave Suni is not safe keeping that baby. I cant reach her and she wont talk to me. But As much as you hate my guts now too, you're the only one that I think I can reason with. Please. Let me tell you everything. So you can understand... and help her too. Stanley's on Carter Avenue at 8:30? Please.

I sat in the car for another 5 minutes. Thinking.

He wants to tell me everything.

I am curious. I want to know why he is so scared of keeping this baby. But.... would I be betraying Suni by listening, is the million dollar question.  I mean it would make sense for me to understand fully so I can advise her well right? But he has hurt her sooo much..............................................................................I didnt reply.

Just yet.

S2 W3. Visiting

"I'm here for a 4:30 appointment please" I refused to look the nurse directly in the eye

"Can I have your health card ma'am" I dug it out from my purse and slid it to her. I hear her get at it with the keyboard as I studied a non existent something on the counter top... I felt dizzy. I guess I should have eaten on the train. "Ok....." the typing paused for a moment....I looked up for a bit. "You're all set, shouldn't be long" She slid the card back to me, but I felt her stare boring holes. "Er... are you ok Ma'am?"

"I will be I guess... thanks." I turned around quickly before she could ask any more questions.

Probably too quickly because...... I kinda ran into the floor.

***************************************************************************************************************

I saw her falling. Just as I was entering, she was collapsing.

"OH SHIT!" I was there faster than  I realized, hopefully I didn't knock anyone down.

But then the nurse was there shoving me away. Telling me "Please step back Ma'am"

"Excuse me she's my SISTER!" This tout better not ask for ID.

"Well at this point ma'am, being a sister wouldn't help, so please STEP BACK!" She had already motioned for other nurses. I stepped back, but I managed to get a closer look at Suni, Gosh. She was a mess, and her hair. Lord Jesus.

Arinze came out.

"Ah Thank God.. ." I stepped towards him "She just fell down" He was throwing out orders that sounded like Spanish..."What's wrong with her?"

He  stopped abruptly "Yale!" The sharpness in which he said my name, I actually jumped. "Please. She would be fine..wait here"

"Are you serio-" He didnt wait for me to finish. The had gotten Suni on a wheely thingy and he was on their heels as they whisked her off.

"Babe.... what happened...?" He was so perfect with his timing. I melted into his  embrace. "It's ok babe.... Ho-oly... was that Suni on the grungey?"

"She just collapsed o.." he ushered me to the waiting area. I'm sooo happy this man was here. He started rubbing my shoulders and it calmed down.

"Arinze is soooo rude."

Shafa laughed... "Why?"

"He's just rude" I let out a frustrated hiss.

"Soooo sensitive!!"  We sat silently for a while observing the people in the waiting room, and just waiting. There was a little girl in a cast that kept running around, so cute. She kept saying "Ima pwincess" the mom kept rolling her eyes and saying "Yes you are" it was sooo cute...

"Oh by the way...." Shafa broke into my boring trance. I looked at him "Guess who called me today..."

"Who?"

"Your dear cousin, Ronke"

"Are you kidding me? For what? Why?"

"That she misses me and would like to chill soon." he gave me the what-a-weirdo-ba? look.

"That IS odd...I haven't spoken to her in a lonnng time, since she mentioned Toba's... shenanigans we haven't had a real full out conversation... hmmmmmmmn!!" I gave him a suspicious look.

"Dont look at me o, lo0k at Ronke. Me maa I'm finding the whole thing verrry questionable."

"What did you say?...Did you agree to link up?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No....did you?"

"I said for sure that I'd give her a call when my schedule frees up....why? You want me to go." he laughed out loud like it was a ridiculous idea.

"Yea...you actually should."

"You can't be serious...." .

"For Real..." He looked too confused " Why are you confused? It's just Ronke now..and besides I want to know what's up...."

"Wow...."

"What you thought I'd be like No... or something?

"Actually I don't know what I thought...."

At that point Arinze came out then and beckoned for me and Shafa to come over.

***************************************************************************************************************

 "She in bad shape." He was talking and walking. "Malnourshed, her blood pressure is low...its just...not good." He made turns and got the door of what I figured was Suni's room. "We are going to keep her for the night, she's stable now though"

"The Baby...."

"Is Fine. Thank God, pretty starved..." he shook his head like he couldn't understand. Well neither could I. "I've gotta keep your visit short cause I  need her to rest...." He opened the door for us "10 minutes."  Why in the world was he all of a sudden so..........hiss. I soo don't like you now Arinze. I nodded cordially and walked in.

I started crying again.

**************************************************************************************************************
" Arinze called you ba?" That's the first thin this IDIOT told me!

"I will kill you once you're strong enough Suni I swear!" I was still crying.

"Mennn Suni, that hair DOES NOT pass.." I see Shafa and I  were on the same page.

"Tell me something I don't know" she looked better. Even with the tubes connected to her and everything. She was smiling a bit. She looked at me  "Cry Cry, every time its to shed tears.."

"Freak Suni...." I held her hand  while I reached for the baby. "How's my God daughter?"

"Who dash you?" I eyed her and touched her belly, it was hard....like a safe haven.

"Is that the kwashiokwor or my god daughter?"

We all laughed.... she was going to be fine.......Arinze said so. Freaking guy.

 ***************************************************************************************************************

I'm soo happy they came. I'm mad at Arinze though... he didn't have a right yelling my business like that.

I watched the curtains of the room flutter. Freaking hospitals I HATE this place.Every time I enter any hospital, I always think about that one time when mommy was sick in Nigeria. I remember the doctor saying that they had tried everything and nothing was left to do. He had told daddy to start making funeral arrangements. Mommy already looked dead. I will never forget her face. Ashen, sunken and just.... dead. The only way she had let me know she was alive was by squeezing my hand.....

"Are you awake or daydreaming?" Arinze.  I looked at him, and couldn't help but smile. He was simply.... what word can I use now?.. He was simply....dashing in his dress shirt and pants.  He had lost the lab coat and stethoscope...His shirt matched his eyes. 

"I want to go home..."

"I knowww, me too!" he smiled...I think I just became well. I feel healed. God......"Only difference is, I AM going home. But you......" He walked around my bed so he was now beside me, he settled into the chair "..not till you're better."

"What time is it?"

He looked at his watch, Tag Heuer, I noticed it FAST! I see homeboy here is a baller, Well  well..I mean he IS a doctor. "1:23am"

"Long shift..." 

"Welcome to my life...." he laughed and then stopped, maybe he too recognized the dual meaning there "I'm glad you came back....." He looked right into my body with those eyes. "For the baby of course.... It's good you came back.." he adjusted his sitting position "...for the baby." I smiled at his... cuteness. His skin was light.. like not yellow, like light... and his hair.. was "touch me now" kind of hair.... my staring had to have made him uncomfortable because he he coughed and stood up abruptly. 

"I should go..." 

"Why?" 

"Cause its 1:30am in the morning and I should be at home sleeping, not doing overtime checking up on a patient." 

"I'm not just a patient....." I smiled , my lame attempt to be flirty. It was a half joke... 

"I guess so...." I didn't expect him to agree so quickly. The warm feeling around my heart spread....."Good night Suni...." 

"Are you in tomorrow....?"

He smiled.. "I'll come check up on you." He looked at me again... and that warmth spread all over my body "Sleep well...."

And then he walked out.

S2 W2. She's Here...

The old lady sitting opposite me on the train is creeping me out. Given I don't' look too healthy ( I tried to clean up  as best as I could, but for one this bird's nest on my head HAD to go...) but HO-LY.... this is just plain rude!  I didn't know I had lifted my hand to cover my belly until I felt it there. I looked down....I swear I could feel baby getting uncomfortable too by this "let's not blink" game the woman was playing here. I adjusted my sitting position so i angled away from her towards the window. Id rather look at blurring trees than into her criticizing blue eyes. It was just me and her in this seating set... there were about 6 or 7 of us in the  entire coach section, this means she had other  BETTER options for sitting, but no she chose to perch  in front of me and stare me down. SIIIIINNNCEEEE. I looked at my watch, 2:30. Sigh.... 1 more hour. We were scheduled back home for 3:30.... it was about a 20minute ride to the doctors then.... life officially would kick start again.  I felt like I had died for a month. Like I wasn't in this world. Even seeing outside, the train station, having to interact with people again... it was nice somehow to be back. This whole hermit lifestyle wasn't me. I forced myself to be in it, now I have to force myself out of it. If not for me, for  baby..

 "Are you pregnant?" Shu-o! I looked in the direction of the question. Cold lady..... not that I had expected anything else. I was going to retort a very rude answer, but I just remembered my manners.

"Yes." I looked back to the window to kind of emphasize the "and this conversation is over" point.

"You don't look healthy... you shouldn't be this skinny." Ah Ah... see problem o. Now Im being scolded. After being stared down for almost 4 hours.

"I know." I gave her a cut eye... mild one... when I said that. Then continued looking at nothing outside the window.

"You didn't eat either this whole journey....." I turned back to study this odd old lady that was in front of me. She looked annoyed.

"I'm not hungry-"

"I bet your baby feels different" she turned to her big bag and started digging, she brought out an apple and shoved it towards me "Eat"

All I could think of was  when I was little and mommy said "Don't collect food from strangers..." and this was even apple sef. Forbidden fruit...

"No thanks.... I ate before the journey" Lie. And for some reason, she could see it too.  She shoved it closer to me.  Her expression softened.

"Just eat.....for her" she gestured to my tummy with her eyes. What made her think it was a her  anyways..."or if you don't want fruit... even though that should be what you eat..... take a sandwich. The kiosk in coach E is still open"

I needed the walk and space seriously... so I grabbed this opportunity.  "Ok..." I shuffled/struggled out of my seat , trying to get as far away as possible from her caring judgmental odd mother-like stare. I knew i didn't look too healthy but wow..... was it that bad?


***************************************************************************************************************
***************************************************************************************************************



"Is she here yet?" he told me to be here for 4:30... ok so it was only 4:15, but I had been here a LONG time.


"No Yale... " he laughed small "And calling my phone every 5 seconds to find out wouldnt make her appear faster"



"Sorry....." I really fel bad though, cause I knew he was busy... but for some reason I felt he was the only one that could understand my worry. Weird...


"K would buzz you when she gets here... stay out of sight though, we don't want her running away again" he clicked off before I could say anything. I was too worried to ponder on the rudeness of that.


My phone rang just as I dropped it. Shafa.


"Hey babe..."


"Is she here?" I had to laugh at that, cause here was Arinze telling me to keep it hush hush and the first person i blab to was Shafa.


"No.... Arinze told me to f off..." I giggled "He's tired of hearing from me, me ma I'm tired of calling him every 2 seconds. Suni is gonna diieee men! I'ma kill that heifer. Why didn't she call me????"



"Relax, I'm sure she knows what shes doing..."


"Really? She runs off to God knows where, leaves her house everything...and you're telling me shes knows what she's doing? ?


"Shes a grown ass woman Yale..."


"No Shafa, what she is is STUPID! DAFT! LOKO!" I didn't realize I was shouting until I shuttup. The car was so silent....so was the line... "Hello?"


"I was waiting for you to finish bringing down the roof before I answered. Are you done?"


"Leave me jo" he laughed....the low rumble in the tummy, give me goosebumps kind of laugh that I absolutely adored.


"Baby, I have to go now, buzz me once she get's in ok..."


"Kk....heart."

"Haha, Razz child... heart back at you."



A cab pulled up into the front of building. As it pulled to a stop the cab driver literally came out before the car came to a complete stop....he rushed to open the door.  He helped his passenger out and yes at this point I'm squinting cause it looks like Suni, or it could be Suni, I check my watch 4:23,,, Yup! It could be Suni.  Lady thanks cabbie, cabbie still holds her until shes at the door, she looks like she's waving him off....He's shaking his head. She gives cabbie a stern look... as she does this she turns a bit and I make out a profile. It IS Suni.... but shes.....EWW

The gasp I take in almost chokes me. What in the world did she do to her self???? It's taking everything I have in me not to run out of the car and go and meet her....  I blindly search for my phone because I am crying now....Suni Oh! What in the world....


"Hello?"


"Shafa..." I start crying harder now because.....just because. "Shafa she's here.....She looks horrible... "


"Baby baby.. stop crying.. where are you exactly..."


"In the next parking lot behind the tree...."


"Wow some stealth movements huh? " He laughed small but, mannnn, the image of Suni barely being able to walk was making me cry... She did not look right... Like... "Ok.. I'm on my way pleaseeee stop crying...."


"KK hurry, I'm going to meet her now....." Before I cut the line I heard him saying something about "No wait for me remember what Arinze said", but F that... Did he SEE Suni??? Im going to meet her jo.

S2 W1. Suni

The room was swirling and  my eyes weren't even open, but I could bet you, it was goingggg....I felt drunk. Like puking. What? I dont know. I hadn't eaten in.... 2days? but I had peed like I no woman's business.

I think its been about a month........................Ok, I need to get up now if i intend on not throwing up my already empty stomach unto the sheets... which by the way I need to change.

With all the energy in the world I open my eyes....yup. it IS spinning. I shut them tight again. Gosh I miss Yale. She would've babied me DIE. And I need that sooo much.  Whatever was left in my tummy started making its way up FAST, with a vengeance. I don't know where it came from, but I got some kind of energy like this and I bolted for the bathroom. Because this was a small motel, the bathroom was like.... right here. I emptied  my already empty stomach... it was mainly water and bile....gross.  

I collapsed on the floor beside the WC cause that's all I could do and just lay there , semi-conscious....and just thought over the past weeks. How had I come to be alone, broke, sick, pregnant and.......lost?

When Toba had come knocking on my door again after he had blatantly told me to get rid of baby....I was optimistic, I thought he was coming back to apologize and tell me that  he was sorry and he had overreacted, so I was already ready to forgive and do this together. I was scared and in love. So I needed him to be there..... but no... Toba had come to re-iterate  his point. He came with numbers of places where we could go to get rid of baby before it grew. This maga had gone to do research when he had walked out saying "trust me its best". The funny thing is weeks prior to finding out  about baby I would have agreed to this whole "lets get rid of it before it grows," nonsense, but once it settle...marinated in my head that baby was me....just inside me.... I was baby's protector, shield, home........ it just made no sense me chucking baby out. I'm not that heartless.........apparently Toba is. Hiss! Calling my child evil. It's his FATHER that is evil..... freaking idiot..... who gives him the RIGHT to call my child evil? Foool!

My skin was numbing because the tiles were cold and I was in underwear....I started crawling back to the bed. In the very long process it was taking me, I had a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror........Lord father in heaven. I looked like a starved animal.....especially with me sprawled on the ground like this.....I didn't know I had started crying until a tear fell on my hand.  I am a sorry sight right now. And Ive succumbed so far into this abyss of depression I cant even pull myself out.  I really need to call Yale..................................how would I even begin? "Hey Yale, wanna come get me from Ports Dale, ya... the town 7 hours away.... oh by the way  long time no talk, I know you've been wondering where Ive been....but hey you know now....." 

I haven't spoken to her in a minute! I called her when I first left to tell her I was gone and I'm fine and to ensure mommy doesn't call the police... man... mommy..... I hope I haven't killed her? She was another thing I was running away from, she was smothering me with all the drama and heyyy Suni you have killed me spiel........................................that aside, I had called Yale a few more times after to tell her I just needed time away, I could hear the worry in her voice, but I knew she understood..... and she seemed to have given up trying to talk me into coming back... the last time I called, about 3 weeks ago...she was just like ya.... whatever......I think that's when this stupid depression set in......

I stared at my body in the mirror.... i looked malnourished for sure, but I knew that wasn't a bloated tummy, but baby. And because I  couldn't keep food or anything down, I was starving baby......

"I'm sorry love...." my voice was cracked and it hurt my lips to talk but i felt i had to voice my apology to my child....I was responsible for baby now...the onus is on me to ensure everything for baby is right.... meaning I have to get  on up outta here! .......................First to the hospital.

Arinze......Before I had left town I had went in for a check up and he had given me his number.... said I should be back in 2 weeks.... and he hoped I kept the baby....I had never called or went back... but I needed to know baby was fine....and I feel... for some reason he's the only one who could assure me....

I got to the bed and crawled in....with much effort. With even greater effort I sat up.My bag  was on the nightstand near me so I emptied it beside me on the bed and started to look for the card and my phone.... they weren't too hard to find. 

I played with the card for a bit....

It IS time I get my self going. Before I kill baby... and then myself.

I dial the number.

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Everyday  I wish Suni would just call me back and tell me where and how she is. She hadn't done this  for weeks...and I was starting to get worried again. De' had fallen ill was in the hospital, Mommy had to come back... Toba was just PISSING me off with his STUPID questions and pointless comments, and yes... I was at wits end. I neeed that heifer to call me.

I jumped when my phone rang because....ya it was weird considering my trail of thoughts. It rang again and the number showed. Arinze. We had come together as a team when I was desperate to find Suni some weeks back, we exchanged numbers and said we'd keep each other updated if anything new came up.

"Arinze???"

"Yale, she called."

I bolted out of my seat...."Are you lying to me now, where is she? Did she say where? When did this happen?"

"Wait Wait... slow down....." he laughed... and it sounded like one of relief.....I could so relate. "she called to book an appointment........" Ok? " Ya.....she sounded not good.... I asked her where she was, she said it doesn't matter cause shes leaving and coming down.... I told her to come in tomorrow at 4."

"Thank you so much Arinze, thanks so much.. you don't know how much-"

"Its ok Yale, I was...am worried too....."

I started crying silently.

"It's ok.... just don't raise too much noise, keep this between me and you,  lets make sure shes fine first k... I have to run, see you at 4 tomorrow....."

"Again thank you so much, Like.... I owe you PLENTYYY dokita!"

He laughed and clicked off..... I sat at my desk smiling and crying all at once.

I'ma slap that girl when I see her ehnnnnnn.... ah!!! she better be VERY afraid.