W10. Family Feuds

I know I'm being too uptight about this, but I really all of a sudden felt very uncomfortable telling Shafa this gist.

"Nothing much, she just kept on saying over and over again how it was a bad idea...." I averted my gaze... "I just found it weird you know..." I found solace behind my glass of water.

"Really." He sat back and studied me, he sounded and looked very sarcastic. I guess I wasn't selling my story well.

We were silent for a minute, me thinking on my sudden change of mind in telling and Shafa watching me like he was wondering why I wasn't telling him something.

"Well!"
He said it so loud, I kind of jumped. "Ah... sorry oh!"

"You hit the table noww!"

"I guess we are going to be playing cat and mouse on this subject forever if I let you, but here's the deal. I.." he paused for emphasis as he pointed to himself "...personally think it IS weird that they are trying to get hitched so fast, are you sure Suni is not pregnant?"

I had thought about it too, but I remembered our conversation before she sprang all this information on me and I had blatantly asked her and she had said no....and Suni is NOT a good liar.. especially to me. So....

"No... I doubt it. I would have known"

"Hmmmmmm..."

"What again? Why? You think she is?.." I was sure she wasn't... like 70% sure.

"I dunno men, why else would they be rushing?" Ask me o!

"She says they ...and I quote, "don't want to waste time"" I gave him the can-you-believe-that-shit look.

"Stooo-oooo-oooo-rrryy"

We both burst out laughing.


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*brrrrrr brrrr*

My phone was already beside my ear because I had slept on it. Shafa and I were kind of talking till late and -

*brrr brrr*

"Hello...?" I was half asleep but I still subconsciously hoped to hear his voice.

"Y-yale....Ya-ya-leeee?" Suni sounded like she was about to choke. She was crying. Hardddd! My eyes cleared fast. I sat up quickly.

"Ah Ah! Suns, What is it? What happened?" I stretched to turn on the side lamp, the bright red numbers from my side table clock read 3:30am. What the hell is going on? "Suniiii, WHAT is going on?"

She managed to take a breath through her sniffling. "Everything Yale o! Everythingggg is the fucking problemm!!!"

"Ok, Suni, I'm still lost, what exactly happened. And please stop crying before you choke!!" She was still hiccuping and trying to breathe at the same time.

"I told them.."

"Told who what? What are you talking about?"

"I told my parents o ...I told themmmm.." Oh, boy!

"And..."

"Well, of course they weren't pleased, but that's the small part." I threw the covers back and went in search of my shoes. I sensed pone talk might not be enough tonight.

"Ehen...?" Quick run to the washroom. Mouthwash... I'm sorry but I'm sure even in her state she would appreciate favorable breath!

"Well, you know my mom, she said over her dead body, but it was daddy. He said...H-He -he said..." she started bawling uncontrollably again.

Phone conversation would definitely not work.

"Ok calm down Suni, you're at home right?"

Hiccup. Sniffle.Wail. Wail. Hiccup. "Yes...."

"I'm on my way....open the door abeg."

I turned off the lights, locked my door and broke city laws with my speeding.
Let me see the NFA cop that would try and stop me now.

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A normal 20minute drive took me 8.

"Wow....did you fly??" Her eyes were bloodshot. She looked horrible!

"Men Suni, you DO NOT look bonz right about now..." I hugged her because, that's the first thing to be done. Hugs do a whole lot I tell you. Where words fail you... you hug.

"Trust me, I look beautiful compared to how I feel."

We walked to the living room where I saw a mountain of Kleenex tissues. This crying had apparently been going on for a while, or she just liked to waste tissue.

"So what did your dad say?"

She took a deep breath. "Not only is it over my dead body that you would marry that evil child, but I will first of all KILL him before he comes near my family!"

"Whoa!" Ok, that was a bit much, I mean I can understand not being happy because of hastened marital plans, but killing again.. habba.

"I know, I was kind of shocked too, like I didn't understand...." She attacked her box of tissue again because tears started falling. I waited for her to explain more. "Toba's family is very sketchy." Uh oh. "Like he used to tell me some real scary stories of like family fights and all that. Like his mom is the 3rd wife or so, but he's the first son. And just funny funny stuff..." I still didn't get....FULLY. "His dad is like very... fetish..." I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree! "But because of the way he treats Toba's mom, like verbal and physical abuse and stuff, Toba is not very fond of him and he feels he can't like do anything. His mom sef makes matters worse, because she encourages him to stand up against his dad and she's always suggesting verryyy weird methods. Its a long story men...."

I must have had my WTF face on because she quickly went on "No No, Toba is the good guy here. He doesn't want to be a part of all this charade, that's why he wants to just make his own family here and just like....leave. Like he doesn't want to have to deal with all the nonsense drama anymore."

"For real?" And I meant that in not a curious way. But I guess Suni didn't catch on.

"Yea... now the painful part. Remember when my Uncle Hassan died?"

I recalled the time quite vividly. Uncle Hassan is Suni's dad's twin brother. He had been running for a Senate seat at the time. Suni had had to go back home because it had apparently been a huge scandal. He had died quite a horrible death. They had found him in his trunk with vital parts of him missing. I can definitely remember the time.

"Yea....?

"Well. Dad believes it was Toba's father that was responsible for Uncle Hassan's death."

W4. Gist

"Even when I did not beg you to come and pick me, you still show up late! Since I could have been at home faaa"
This was what the child used to enter my vehicle. See disrespect.

"I don't know which city you live in sha, but in most there is something called traffic. And by the way I was held up at work"I waited for her to settle into her seat and put on her seat belt as she was ranting off something about being used and then inconvenienced and so on.

"I'm hunnnggrrryyyyy meeeen!!!"

"Shebi I'm carrying you home now..."

"Ehnnn? There is no food in my house o! You have to buy me dinner...."
Life is about give and take right?

"McDonalds. That's all I can afford"

"Gr-roooss!!!!" You would think the girl would not eat the food when I buy it , with a reaction like that. "So what's this information that you so desire that is making you be nice to me like this?"

There was no use beating around the bush.

"Ok you know Toba right?" Ronke smiled, but not one of those happy smiles, more like an 'uh-oh' kind of smile. I sense gist. "The guy Suni is dating?"

"Ehen what about him?" she was still smiling. Hmm...

"Well you know I'm not one to poke nose, especially when I don't see reason too, but I'm getting suspicious of this guys motives. Like so far he seems cool, but he's doing things that's making me question his authenticity you know..." I took my eyes of the road for a second to see her face. Ah, Ronke definitely knew something.

"Why? What did he do?" Either she was fishing for gist from my side, or she was leading me on. Either way I was more desperate for information so ...

"Ok, Ronke this is some extreme down low stuvvs, if it get's out I would KNOW where the leak came from and I swear I'd have your head, so keep it shush shush, no coded blogging-"

"Yea Yea.....whattt did he do???"

"Chill, I'd tell you now, let's quickly order."

As we were making our order Ronke kept on laughing and saying "Hmn...." and"Ha..." We got our "clogged artery ready" meals and I parked the car in an isolated spot. I didn't want any disturbance. This was going to be good gist, and good gist cannot be interrupted.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" that's me blowing out a long sigh. How d I begin?

"Oya, what did Toba do...?" This girl was already attacking the junior chicken, who does that? Eats the burger before the fries??

Just be straight. "Well, it looks like he proposed to Suni..." Her burger didn't make it to her mouth "Yes... that was my expression too." Apparently this was REALLY news to her.

"Shottttttoopppp!!!!" she dropped her burger down again "What did she say???"

"What do you think she would have said that would make me start to find you to get proper info?" I let the salt from the fries melt in my mouth before I chewed.

"Ye! See gbese live oo!!" she started doing her excited gist dance.

"So there is a story righhhtt?? Like this is not right, right?" My body starts to warm up when I'm about to hear something I don't want to hear, It's like an alarm. My ears become warm.

"Yo, Yale if you know whats good for you better take Suni straight to church let them pray for her. Ahhhhhhhh... hmn! Infact" she dropped her burger back in the wrapper like it was too hot, put it on the dash board and adjusted her self so she was facing me directly. Me maa, I lost my appetite and put down my fries.

"What do you mean, like are you joking?" I was waiting for the laughter that would tell me she was just being sarcastic.

"Look, Yale, Toba is a sketchy guy..."

"Er duhhh!!!"

"Ok remember Tunji? Adekola? We used to date back in Nigeria!?" I think my blank stare was annoying her, I couldnt recall anyone by that name. "The one my mom used to report to your mom about???? Cult membbberrrr??"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Ah... where was this going?

(PAUSE)
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Tunji, if I remember clearly was one of Ronke's numerous boyfriends that she had back in Nigiera, in fact he was the last one before they shipped her here, mainly to save her life and cut her off from all the bad company. This boy was trouble, I had met him once and it was when I went back to Nigeria like 5 years ago. He was like 27 then. Ronke was 17. I remember my mom always asking me to pray for her deliverance because she under Jazz...It may sound funny now but it was serious back then.

----

"Eheennn, Ok Tunji was actually really in a cult." She looked at me like she was expecting this to be news. Me I was waiting to hear something more serious. "Well Toba was in that cult too o." Be careful what you wish for.

"Whatever"

"I swear, I don't know if he's still involved, but Yale that cult was not to joke with o and they had very strong fetish ties......" She shivered. Me too, I shivered in reaction. " Like... human sacrifices and stuff..." Ronke actually looked spooked.

This was too much for me. It's not like I don't believe in Juju and all but, I've been here way too long for it to be of importance in my life. This was too much like a Nigerian film.

"This is bull shit" I adjusted my self and reached for my fries again.

Ronke reached for her food too "Yo, I don't know how to advise on going about this. But really consider church men. Temi was gisting me sometime ago about all the stuff they were finding out about Tunji. Apparently in their cult, they look for women, get married to them spiritually and then sacrifice their souls. The bodies are used to make the charms they wear, like necklaces, belts, and what not." She was not looking at me anymore but I was looking at her well!

All of a sudden I didn't want to know this ish anymore.

"They call themselves Olode, meaning the Hunter......" We were both silent for a minute. Then something occurred to me.

" Why didn't you tell me this before? Like when I first introduced you to Toba?"

"Like you would've believed me... well I've erased that experience from my life, I don't even think I want to believe it anymore, but what your telling me sounds a lot like a pattern that Olode boys follow, but then again I don't know... Cause he might have left the cult and everything. Maybe he just really likes her. But seriously... you wanted the gist. Well you have it."

She finally picked up her burger, but didn't attack it like before. Just nibbled it. My phone beeped then. It was so loud we both jumped.

"Thanks for spooking us both out, Ronke"

"Shebi na you dey find gist."

I didn't look at my phone before I picked up "Hello-o??"

"Are you stalking us! Who's that with you in the car?" It was Suni. I peered out the window to check where she was spying from.

In the drive through lane I saw her waving like a mad woman from Toba's very un-missable Infiniti. "It's just Ronke, just picked her from school. Going to drop her home." I waved back.

Ronke whispered "Talk about the devil, abeg let's poof men, I need to study anyways."
I nodded in agreement. Toba was the last person I wanted to see now.

I started the car "We were just leaving though... "

"Are we still on for tonight? We have much to discuss you know" I could see from my rear view mirror Suni was still looking at my car. And so was Toba...

"Man Suni I have to cancel, huge presentation tomorrow. I promise we'd talk after though..."

"You've come again...."

"Sorry noww.... but I Have to go. Tommorow k? You guys have fun, don't get too fat."

"Never! Byee...."

I reversed and tried to drive as far away as possible from Toba's car just so we didn't have to see. But it was like I could feel Toba staring at the car.

"You feel it too se?" Ronke was looking at me when she said that...

"Haha you're a freak! Feel what????" I merged into traffic as fast as I could.

What the hell was I to do now?