S2 W3. Visiting

"I'm here for a 4:30 appointment please" I refused to look the nurse directly in the eye

"Can I have your health card ma'am" I dug it out from my purse and slid it to her. I hear her get at it with the keyboard as I studied a non existent something on the counter top... I felt dizzy. I guess I should have eaten on the train. "Ok....." the typing paused for a moment....I looked up for a bit. "You're all set, shouldn't be long" She slid the card back to me, but I felt her stare boring holes. "Er... are you ok Ma'am?"

"I will be I guess... thanks." I turned around quickly before she could ask any more questions.

Probably too quickly because...... I kinda ran into the floor.

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I saw her falling. Just as I was entering, she was collapsing.

"OH SHIT!" I was there faster than  I realized, hopefully I didn't knock anyone down.

But then the nurse was there shoving me away. Telling me "Please step back Ma'am"

"Excuse me she's my SISTER!" This tout better not ask for ID.

"Well at this point ma'am, being a sister wouldn't help, so please STEP BACK!" She had already motioned for other nurses. I stepped back, but I managed to get a closer look at Suni, Gosh. She was a mess, and her hair. Lord Jesus.

Arinze came out.

"Ah Thank God.. ." I stepped towards him "She just fell down" He was throwing out orders that sounded like Spanish..."What's wrong with her?"

He  stopped abruptly "Yale!" The sharpness in which he said my name, I actually jumped. "Please. She would be fine..wait here"

"Are you serio-" He didnt wait for me to finish. The had gotten Suni on a wheely thingy and he was on their heels as they whisked her off.

"Babe.... what happened...?" He was so perfect with his timing. I melted into his  embrace. "It's ok babe.... Ho-oly... was that Suni on the grungey?"

"She just collapsed o.." he ushered me to the waiting area. I'm sooo happy this man was here. He started rubbing my shoulders and it calmed down.

"Arinze is soooo rude."

Shafa laughed... "Why?"

"He's just rude" I let out a frustrated hiss.

"Soooo sensitive!!"  We sat silently for a while observing the people in the waiting room, and just waiting. There was a little girl in a cast that kept running around, so cute. She kept saying "Ima pwincess" the mom kept rolling her eyes and saying "Yes you are" it was sooo cute...

"Oh by the way...." Shafa broke into my boring trance. I looked at him "Guess who called me today..."

"Who?"

"Your dear cousin, Ronke"

"Are you kidding me? For what? Why?"

"That she misses me and would like to chill soon." he gave me the what-a-weirdo-ba? look.

"That IS odd...I haven't spoken to her in a lonnng time, since she mentioned Toba's... shenanigans we haven't had a real full out conversation... hmmmmmmmn!!" I gave him a suspicious look.

"Dont look at me o, lo0k at Ronke. Me maa I'm finding the whole thing verrry questionable."

"What did you say?...Did you agree to link up?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No....did you?"

"I said for sure that I'd give her a call when my schedule frees up....why? You want me to go." he laughed out loud like it was a ridiculous idea.

"Yea...you actually should."

"You can't be serious...." .

"For Real..." He looked too confused " Why are you confused? It's just Ronke now..and besides I want to know what's up...."

"Wow...."

"What you thought I'd be like No... or something?

"Actually I don't know what I thought...."

At that point Arinze came out then and beckoned for me and Shafa to come over.

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 "She in bad shape." He was talking and walking. "Malnourshed, her blood pressure is low...its just...not good." He made turns and got the door of what I figured was Suni's room. "We are going to keep her for the night, she's stable now though"

"The Baby...."

"Is Fine. Thank God, pretty starved..." he shook his head like he couldn't understand. Well neither could I. "I've gotta keep your visit short cause I  need her to rest...." He opened the door for us "10 minutes."  Why in the world was he all of a sudden so..........hiss. I soo don't like you now Arinze. I nodded cordially and walked in.

I started crying again.

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" Arinze called you ba?" That's the first thin this IDIOT told me!

"I will kill you once you're strong enough Suni I swear!" I was still crying.

"Mennn Suni, that hair DOES NOT pass.." I see Shafa and I  were on the same page.

"Tell me something I don't know" she looked better. Even with the tubes connected to her and everything. She was smiling a bit. She looked at me  "Cry Cry, every time its to shed tears.."

"Freak Suni...." I held her hand  while I reached for the baby. "How's my God daughter?"

"Who dash you?" I eyed her and touched her belly, it was hard....like a safe haven.

"Is that the kwashiokwor or my god daughter?"

We all laughed.... she was going to be fine.......Arinze said so. Freaking guy.

 ***************************************************************************************************************

I'm soo happy they came. I'm mad at Arinze though... he didn't have a right yelling my business like that.

I watched the curtains of the room flutter. Freaking hospitals I HATE this place.Every time I enter any hospital, I always think about that one time when mommy was sick in Nigeria. I remember the doctor saying that they had tried everything and nothing was left to do. He had told daddy to start making funeral arrangements. Mommy already looked dead. I will never forget her face. Ashen, sunken and just.... dead. The only way she had let me know she was alive was by squeezing my hand.....

"Are you awake or daydreaming?" Arinze.  I looked at him, and couldn't help but smile. He was simply.... what word can I use now?.. He was simply....dashing in his dress shirt and pants.  He had lost the lab coat and stethoscope...His shirt matched his eyes. 

"I want to go home..."

"I knowww, me too!" he smiled...I think I just became well. I feel healed. God......"Only difference is, I AM going home. But you......" He walked around my bed so he was now beside me, he settled into the chair "..not till you're better."

"What time is it?"

He looked at his watch, Tag Heuer, I noticed it FAST! I see homeboy here is a baller, Well  well..I mean he IS a doctor. "1:23am"

"Long shift..." 

"Welcome to my life...." he laughed and then stopped, maybe he too recognized the dual meaning there "I'm glad you came back....." He looked right into my body with those eyes. "For the baby of course.... It's good you came back.." he adjusted his sitting position "...for the baby." I smiled at his... cuteness. His skin was light.. like not yellow, like light... and his hair.. was "touch me now" kind of hair.... my staring had to have made him uncomfortable because he he coughed and stood up abruptly. 

"I should go..." 

"Why?" 

"Cause its 1:30am in the morning and I should be at home sleeping, not doing overtime checking up on a patient." 

"I'm not just a patient....." I smiled , my lame attempt to be flirty. It was a half joke... 

"I guess so...." I didn't expect him to agree so quickly. The warm feeling around my heart spread....."Good night Suni...." 

"Are you in tomorrow....?"

He smiled.. "I'll come check up on you." He looked at me again... and that warmth spread all over my body "Sleep well...."

And then he walked out.

S2 W2. She's Here...

The old lady sitting opposite me on the train is creeping me out. Given I don't' look too healthy ( I tried to clean up  as best as I could, but for one this bird's nest on my head HAD to go...) but HO-LY.... this is just plain rude!  I didn't know I had lifted my hand to cover my belly until I felt it there. I looked down....I swear I could feel baby getting uncomfortable too by this "let's not blink" game the woman was playing here. I adjusted my sitting position so i angled away from her towards the window. Id rather look at blurring trees than into her criticizing blue eyes. It was just me and her in this seating set... there were about 6 or 7 of us in the  entire coach section, this means she had other  BETTER options for sitting, but no she chose to perch  in front of me and stare me down. SIIIIINNNCEEEE. I looked at my watch, 2:30. Sigh.... 1 more hour. We were scheduled back home for 3:30.... it was about a 20minute ride to the doctors then.... life officially would kick start again.  I felt like I had died for a month. Like I wasn't in this world. Even seeing outside, the train station, having to interact with people again... it was nice somehow to be back. This whole hermit lifestyle wasn't me. I forced myself to be in it, now I have to force myself out of it. If not for me, for  baby..

 "Are you pregnant?" Shu-o! I looked in the direction of the question. Cold lady..... not that I had expected anything else. I was going to retort a very rude answer, but I just remembered my manners.

"Yes." I looked back to the window to kind of emphasize the "and this conversation is over" point.

"You don't look healthy... you shouldn't be this skinny." Ah Ah... see problem o. Now Im being scolded. After being stared down for almost 4 hours.

"I know." I gave her a cut eye... mild one... when I said that. Then continued looking at nothing outside the window.

"You didn't eat either this whole journey....." I turned back to study this odd old lady that was in front of me. She looked annoyed.

"I'm not hungry-"

"I bet your baby feels different" she turned to her big bag and started digging, she brought out an apple and shoved it towards me "Eat"

All I could think of was  when I was little and mommy said "Don't collect food from strangers..." and this was even apple sef. Forbidden fruit...

"No thanks.... I ate before the journey" Lie. And for some reason, she could see it too.  She shoved it closer to me.  Her expression softened.

"Just eat.....for her" she gestured to my tummy with her eyes. What made her think it was a her  anyways..."or if you don't want fruit... even though that should be what you eat..... take a sandwich. The kiosk in coach E is still open"

I needed the walk and space seriously... so I grabbed this opportunity.  "Ok..." I shuffled/struggled out of my seat , trying to get as far away as possible from her caring judgmental odd mother-like stare. I knew i didn't look too healthy but wow..... was it that bad?


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"Is she here yet?" he told me to be here for 4:30... ok so it was only 4:15, but I had been here a LONG time.


"No Yale... " he laughed small "And calling my phone every 5 seconds to find out wouldnt make her appear faster"



"Sorry....." I really fel bad though, cause I knew he was busy... but for some reason I felt he was the only one that could understand my worry. Weird...


"K would buzz you when she gets here... stay out of sight though, we don't want her running away again" he clicked off before I could say anything. I was too worried to ponder on the rudeness of that.


My phone rang just as I dropped it. Shafa.


"Hey babe..."


"Is she here?" I had to laugh at that, cause here was Arinze telling me to keep it hush hush and the first person i blab to was Shafa.


"No.... Arinze told me to f off..." I giggled "He's tired of hearing from me, me ma I'm tired of calling him every 2 seconds. Suni is gonna diieee men! I'ma kill that heifer. Why didn't she call me????"



"Relax, I'm sure she knows what shes doing..."


"Really? She runs off to God knows where, leaves her house everything...and you're telling me shes knows what she's doing? ?


"Shes a grown ass woman Yale..."


"No Shafa, what she is is STUPID! DAFT! LOKO!" I didn't realize I was shouting until I shuttup. The car was so silent....so was the line... "Hello?"


"I was waiting for you to finish bringing down the roof before I answered. Are you done?"


"Leave me jo" he laughed....the low rumble in the tummy, give me goosebumps kind of laugh that I absolutely adored.


"Baby, I have to go now, buzz me once she get's in ok..."


"Kk....heart."

"Haha, Razz child... heart back at you."



A cab pulled up into the front of building. As it pulled to a stop the cab driver literally came out before the car came to a complete stop....he rushed to open the door.  He helped his passenger out and yes at this point I'm squinting cause it looks like Suni, or it could be Suni, I check my watch 4:23,,, Yup! It could be Suni.  Lady thanks cabbie, cabbie still holds her until shes at the door, she looks like she's waving him off....He's shaking his head. She gives cabbie a stern look... as she does this she turns a bit and I make out a profile. It IS Suni.... but shes.....EWW

The gasp I take in almost chokes me. What in the world did she do to her self???? It's taking everything I have in me not to run out of the car and go and meet her....  I blindly search for my phone because I am crying now....Suni Oh! What in the world....


"Hello?"


"Shafa..." I start crying harder now because.....just because. "Shafa she's here.....She looks horrible... "


"Baby baby.. stop crying.. where are you exactly..."


"In the next parking lot behind the tree...."


"Wow some stealth movements huh? " He laughed small but, mannnn, the image of Suni barely being able to walk was making me cry... She did not look right... Like... "Ok.. I'm on my way pleaseeee stop crying...."


"KK hurry, I'm going to meet her now....." Before I cut the line I heard him saying something about "No wait for me remember what Arinze said", but F that... Did he SEE Suni??? Im going to meet her jo.

S2 W1. Suni

The room was swirling and  my eyes weren't even open, but I could bet you, it was goingggg....I felt drunk. Like puking. What? I dont know. I hadn't eaten in.... 2days? but I had peed like I no woman's business.

I think its been about a month........................Ok, I need to get up now if i intend on not throwing up my already empty stomach unto the sheets... which by the way I need to change.

With all the energy in the world I open my eyes....yup. it IS spinning. I shut them tight again. Gosh I miss Yale. She would've babied me DIE. And I need that sooo much.  Whatever was left in my tummy started making its way up FAST, with a vengeance. I don't know where it came from, but I got some kind of energy like this and I bolted for the bathroom. Because this was a small motel, the bathroom was like.... right here. I emptied  my already empty stomach... it was mainly water and bile....gross.  

I collapsed on the floor beside the WC cause that's all I could do and just lay there , semi-conscious....and just thought over the past weeks. How had I come to be alone, broke, sick, pregnant and.......lost?

When Toba had come knocking on my door again after he had blatantly told me to get rid of baby....I was optimistic, I thought he was coming back to apologize and tell me that  he was sorry and he had overreacted, so I was already ready to forgive and do this together. I was scared and in love. So I needed him to be there..... but no... Toba had come to re-iterate  his point. He came with numbers of places where we could go to get rid of baby before it grew. This maga had gone to do research when he had walked out saying "trust me its best". The funny thing is weeks prior to finding out  about baby I would have agreed to this whole "lets get rid of it before it grows," nonsense, but once it settle...marinated in my head that baby was me....just inside me.... I was baby's protector, shield, home........ it just made no sense me chucking baby out. I'm not that heartless.........apparently Toba is. Hiss! Calling my child evil. It's his FATHER that is evil..... freaking idiot..... who gives him the RIGHT to call my child evil? Foool!

My skin was numbing because the tiles were cold and I was in underwear....I started crawling back to the bed. In the very long process it was taking me, I had a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror........Lord father in heaven. I looked like a starved animal.....especially with me sprawled on the ground like this.....I didn't know I had started crying until a tear fell on my hand.  I am a sorry sight right now. And Ive succumbed so far into this abyss of depression I cant even pull myself out.  I really need to call Yale..................................how would I even begin? "Hey Yale, wanna come get me from Ports Dale, ya... the town 7 hours away.... oh by the way  long time no talk, I know you've been wondering where Ive been....but hey you know now....." 

I haven't spoken to her in a minute! I called her when I first left to tell her I was gone and I'm fine and to ensure mommy doesn't call the police... man... mommy..... I hope I haven't killed her? She was another thing I was running away from, she was smothering me with all the drama and heyyy Suni you have killed me spiel........................................that aside, I had called Yale a few more times after to tell her I just needed time away, I could hear the worry in her voice, but I knew she understood..... and she seemed to have given up trying to talk me into coming back... the last time I called, about 3 weeks ago...she was just like ya.... whatever......I think that's when this stupid depression set in......

I stared at my body in the mirror.... i looked malnourished for sure, but I knew that wasn't a bloated tummy, but baby. And because I  couldn't keep food or anything down, I was starving baby......

"I'm sorry love...." my voice was cracked and it hurt my lips to talk but i felt i had to voice my apology to my child....I was responsible for baby now...the onus is on me to ensure everything for baby is right.... meaning I have to get  on up outta here! .......................First to the hospital.

Arinze......Before I had left town I had went in for a check up and he had given me his number.... said I should be back in 2 weeks.... and he hoped I kept the baby....I had never called or went back... but I needed to know baby was fine....and I feel... for some reason he's the only one who could assure me....

I got to the bed and crawled in....with much effort. With even greater effort I sat up.My bag  was on the nightstand near me so I emptied it beside me on the bed and started to look for the card and my phone.... they weren't too hard to find. 

I played with the card for a bit....

It IS time I get my self going. Before I kill baby... and then myself.

I dial the number.

**************************************************************************************************************

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Everyday  I wish Suni would just call me back and tell me where and how she is. She hadn't done this  for weeks...and I was starting to get worried again. De' had fallen ill was in the hospital, Mommy had to come back... Toba was just PISSING me off with his STUPID questions and pointless comments, and yes... I was at wits end. I neeed that heifer to call me.

I jumped when my phone rang because....ya it was weird considering my trail of thoughts. It rang again and the number showed. Arinze. We had come together as a team when I was desperate to find Suni some weeks back, we exchanged numbers and said we'd keep each other updated if anything new came up.

"Arinze???"

"Yale, she called."

I bolted out of my seat...."Are you lying to me now, where is she? Did she say where? When did this happen?"

"Wait Wait... slow down....." he laughed... and it sounded like one of relief.....I could so relate. "she called to book an appointment........" Ok? " Ya.....she sounded not good.... I asked her where she was, she said it doesn't matter cause shes leaving and coming down.... I told her to come in tomorrow at 4."

"Thank you so much Arinze, thanks so much.. you don't know how much-"

"Its ok Yale, I was...am worried too....."

I started crying silently.

"It's ok.... just don't raise too much noise, keep this between me and you,  lets make sure shes fine first k... I have to run, see you at 4 tomorrow....."

"Again thank you so much, Like.... I owe you PLENTYYY dokita!"

He laughed and clicked off..... I sat at my desk smiling and crying all at once.

I'ma slap that girl when I see her ehnnnnnn.... ah!!! she better be VERY afraid.

W20. And the world keeps on spinning.... (Season 1 Finale!)

I tried to act calm. "Mom, you  both are just being paranoid...Suni is fine. It's all this useless drama!"

"Mhmn"

We reached home, and I parked the car and just kept silent as we  got out mom's luggage and made our way to the front.So...if mom and De' knew then what? I wonder if they would support Suni's decision to ex the baby. Mom would probably not be in support, but with De's frame of mind... hmn.

I opened the door front door and waited for mom to enter. She went straight to the room.  Probably to change and get ready for bed. I locked the door behind me. My phone rang.

"Hey love." I liked endearments.

"Hey you.." Shafa and I said our hello's and made our routine small talk about each others day and how we were and all that good stuff. I mentioned that my mom was leaving tomorrow.

"Oh...so soon."

"Drama is chasing her..." we both laughed.

"I should come over then,  I hope it's not too late."

"Ehn, shebi she's the one that wants to run away so soon. Besides I wouldn't mind seeing your fine face this night." I mean the boy already knew it, might as well stroke his ego small. He said I should give him 20minutes.  I went to alert moms.

"Shafa is coming over... he wants to greet you before you run back home"

Trust mom, she was already in her PJ's and heading to the kitchen for her routine HUMONGOUS cup of tea. "Ahhhh" the oh I remember sigh "the designer?" I hate when mom's do that. Front like they can't remember a significant person in your life.

"Yes mommy the designer."

"I thought you guys were off?"

"We were.....we're kind of back on now." We're we? Well I should think so, but I really need to clarify things with him, can't be making the same mistakes twice in one  lifetime. I'd bring it up soon.

"Ok o, I hope it's soon, because I'm going to be going to bed soon" She patted round the kitchen preparing her cup of tea then made her way to the living room. Why I was tagging along  I don't know. She sat down. "Come and switch on the TV for me." I turned it to her favorite channel (A&E , she loved watching those reality shoes like first 48 and cold case files....so odd). I went to tush up small for Shafa.

******************************************************************************

My phone rang again. It was Suni. Gist.

"Wassup?"

"Man... I told Toba." she sounded fine.....a bit out of it though.

"He's cool?" Then she broke out into crazy laughter. Like nothing was funny, but she was cracking up.

"Coool? Cool? Hmmmmmm!!!" she continued laughing. I was trying to tie my head wrap, so I wedged the phone betwee my head and shoulder.

"Suni, hope nothing?"

"He's very cool o. Cool like Freezer!!! Cooolest guyyy!!" she laughed some more... this was getting awkward. "He says we cannot keep THIS baby" the way she said it stung me.

"How does he mean?" she was still laughing.

"He said this baby  was cursed. And if we don't get rid of it now, they would know and more trouble will start...? Can you imagine, we are on the same wavelength but on VERY different pages o"

"Who's they?" I was a tad bit confused here...

"His people..." she stopped laughing abruptly, it was so silent I thought the line had cut.

"Hello?...Suni?"

"Yo Yale, I'd call you back in a bit......don't sleep o" she  clicked off before I could say good-bye.

Weird. I tried not to be too worried. She was gonna call me back.

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True to his word the doorbell rang 18 minutes later. I was in my pajamas but glossed up a bit. I opened the door. Did he dress up to meet mommy? Awwww..... He was in skinny jeans and a crisp gray tee with those nice dress but could-pass-off-as-casual jackets. In all his awesome chocolatey-ness.  He smiled at me. Shoot. I love this guy.

"Watidoo" I hugged him and stole a kiss before we broke apart.

"You're already getting ready to sleep?"

"Oh you thought I'd wait for you..." I said sarcastically. I ushered him inside and closed the door behind me.

"Is she still awake?" he mouthed to me...

"Ya ya for sure... shes in the living room so..." I didn't bother whispering back. We walked to into the living room. " mommy Shafa is here."

"Ehen...." typical mommy, dropped her cup on the table and turned to squint like she couldn't see his face.  Ugh! I knoooww she knows him. "How are you??"

"I'm fine aunty" he did the half way dobale (prostrate) that all these older but younger Nigerian boys in diaspora do.

"Come and greet me well now..."  he walked over to give her a hug. I'm sure mommy was already counting grand babies in her head.

See I had mentioned how serious I was about Shafa when we used to date... or whatever it was we were doing before. Like my mom knew I really liked him. She had met him once or twice in the past, as that guy that Yale always talks about and is always around, but  she still hadn't been introduced to him like thaaat. She knew that I was really serious about him back then though. So, with him coming by now and the half answer I had given her, I know there were questions running through her mind on the seriousness of this relationship and if she should start calling him "son". Yes mommy was crazy like that. I had avoided her earlier prior to his coming, but I know once he leaves, there would be a clarification session. I wasn't even going to be shy.

Shafa and mom chit chatted about nothing really. Weather, work, same old. I got him a drink, before she could chastise me for being  a terrible host. I tuned in and out of their small talk. used that time to check Shafa out. He was very relaxed and composed. Mom liked him. when she started talking like this, it means you are good. They hadn't had the opportunity to sit and talk before, so it was interesting to see that they interacted very well with each other. He really found mommy amusing though. When he laughed it wasn't forced, and if it was, well he was a darned good actor! But mommy was generally entertaining still. I think she was talking about how she needed to go back home and cook for daddy.

"Yale doesn't believe me, she thinks I just don't want to spend time with her, but my husband misses me" Shafa laughed again.

"Is true though..."

"Don't worry when you get your own husband you would understand how important it is to always be with him....." she paused for a moment as she sipped her drink, I dint miss the look she gave Shafa, I knew something else was coming. "Abi, Shafa... is it not better for the wife to not be so far away for long?" I can soo see where this is going.

"Yes aunty, its very important o!" he said it with laughter, so taking him seriously would have been.... ya... I laughed too.

"You would know se?"

"Eheenn! See Yale, even Shafa agrees with me" the laughter died off, you know that part when every one sighs after laughing? Yes.. this was it. We all were staring at the TV for a bit. "So how old are you again Shafa?"

"I'm going to be 30 in a few weeks ma"

"Wow, you're grown!" he laughed the "yes I am" laugh. "You should be looking to settle down soon."

OK! Mom was NOT going to start this conversation here. "Haha! Mommy please now, you're making him uncomfortable"  I looked at him apologizing with my eyes.

"No, it's fine..." he smiled back at me, then looked back to mommy "Actually... Yes  aunty. It's starting to become a priority." he looked back me "pretty fast". Ok?

"That's good. If you wait too long all the good girls are going to get picked up."

"That I realized.... that..." he adjusted his seat like he was really figuring it out. "...I realize."

"Ok o. Shafa..." mommy packed her mug as she got up. "Let me go and sleep , long journey tomorrow. It was rally nice of you to come by..."

"The pleasures mine aunty. I couldn't let you leave without coming by to say hi."

"Eya, thank you. Ok let me let you two...get along." she gave me that...oh yeaaaah look. Me I was still a bit...interested in what Shafa had said about settling down.

"Goodnight Aunty!" he stood up to half dobale again. Mom hugged him when he straightened up.

"Good night mommy.." She hugged me too and left.

I couldn't stop looking at him. He was just smiling cause he KNEW he had peaked my interest. "What?"

"You know what."

"I do....?" he walked to me and held me.

"What was that about?"

"What?"

"Oh stop it ... the whole..... you know...." He laughed and kissed my nose.

"the whole....?"

"Were you serious?" I hugged him back... only because I could not resist. He's so huggable.

He laughed some more then pulled me to sit with him on the couch. "Yea....I'm not growing younger eh."

WOW.....Shafa was looking to settle down. Time does change the face of the clock. Was it not just....wow.

"I see...." Holy.... this was...wow. I was really speechless. Huh????

"I hope you do....cause I'm not trying to get back in your good books just for fun." he tipped my head  and kissed me. Muffled thoughts...... "I don't have that kind of time." he kissed me some more.

"Wait.." I broke off.... had to get my mind together. "Wait.... so what exactly are you saying?"

He leaned back and smiled. "I'm sayinggg" then he bent to get the remote from the coffee table, and started flipping through the channels. "I'm saying that I'm serious Yale." he stopped on CNN. Dropped the remote back on the table and looked at me finally. "I want to be serious about us."

Here I was sitting down, cuddled with the man of my dreams. A few hours ago I had been ready to find a way to bring up the issue of the status of our relationship because I knew I was already far gone into him again. I was risking my heart big time (or so I thought a few hours ago) I wasn't sure he was into me seriously this time ( a few hours ago) and now..... just under a FEW HOURS. all my questions were answered, and I seemed to have just fallen deeper in love with him. How? I don't even know but I did. I smiled. Happy. for now that's all I needed to know. That he was serious. And from the looks of it. VERY. That was good enough for me. For now......

WATCH OUT FOR SEASON II

What happens with Suni's pregnancy?
Does she tough it out with Toba or does the hard time break them apart?

Follow on with Yale and Shafa's now seriously budding relationship.
New twists and turns to test if it REALLY is for real.

And Arinze??
C'mon now, he's not introduced into the story for no reason.
 
Let's not forget about Jackie and Ronke.... we shall go into their own stories a bit more
They have their own spice to add to Spilt Ink.


Season II Premiering this November.
Don't Blink.

W19. Psychic

I was smiling, for God knows what reason. This was not a smiling matter. But I was smiling, waiting for Suni to answer this blessing's to earth's question. He raised and eyebrow.

"Suni, he's not a mind reader...." I didn't even look at her. Hehe, not my fault my eyes were occupied.

"I think I'm pregnant." Something in the way she said it made me look at her. She looked defeated. I held her hand. But I also felt maybe I should let her

"Ok..." he dropped his pen in the little holder thing on his pad. "I'm assuming you've taken a home test-" She didn't even wait for him to finish the question.

"It could be false right, there's a..." she hung her head."there's a chance?"

Dr. Arinze was watching her really closely, like I was, he waited until she looked back at him "Let's find out..." he wrote some notes down.

I squeezed Suni's hand and smiled at her. I wanted her to not forget that I'm here. Whether I was to be come an aunty prematurely today or not. Arinze asked a few more questions and summoned the nurse.

The short but long wait to clarity begun.


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I had left the room when Suni went to pee and came back. Dr Arinze, in all his glory, had left the room to do whatever it is doctors do when they leave the room.

"Suni, let me wait outside."

"You dey fear too se?" She didn't laugh, but I knew she was trying to lighten the tension.

I hugged her as I left. She didn't argue so I knew she didn't mind being alone for whatever was coming her way.

I didn't go far though, just around the corner so that I could be there when she came out.
I flopped down on the chair, and dropped my bag, letting lose a LONG sigh. This was crazy crazy crazy crazy. Suni? A baby? Mennnnn...

The nurse that attended to us walked by me, she paused.
"She'll be fine" she used her head to nod towards the room Suni was.

"You think?" I wasn't being rude, I just needed the medical assurance.

"Keep an eye on her, she looks like she takes things hard" she gave me a reassuring smile and continued on her way.

Did that mean that Suni was?

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I must've been lost in thought because I didn't know Suni had come out until she tapped me. I jumped up. Her eyes where normal. She looked fine. Not happy not sad, just fine.

"So.........?" I bent down to pick up my bag

"You've changed nappy before ba?"

She smiled a very disheartened smiled and turned towards the exit.

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"I feel different."

She was facing the window. We were almost back home and she was silent as usual. Me I just did my own part and drove, I wasn't even in the mood to ask questions. Baby? Hia.

"As in?"

"Like, I feel different about this."

"You wanna keep it?"

She smiled...."No.. I don't, but I'm almost scared to find out what Toba's going to say."

I hadn't even thought of the boy. "Wait..if I recall clearly, when you told me about the family situation, you mentioned he wanted to just cut off and start his own family. So.." She looked at me, almost confused "So.. that means this is..he's want this?" I wasn't even sure if I was asking or stating a fact.

"He wants a family, but I'm sure not NOW."

I pulled up into her driveway. De' was sitting outside with mommy. Uh-oh.

"SHHHIIIITTT" Suni, in panic, ducked down.

"SUNI WAHT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, RELAX JO!" I pulled her up with my right hand. What the hell? Such a foolish move, now I'm sure they'd think something was up. "Freak man..." she sat back up , slouched like she was hiding. My God this girl was dense."Suni, you need to remain calm, they are going to be asking questions, we need answers." I slowly parked. "Ok, we went for breakfast, you're distraught about the family problem, it's affecting you. PERIOD. any questions outside the scope of this story shall be answered with 'I don't want to talk about it.' Oya.." I turned off the engine, took a deep breath, copy-pasted my smile and exited the car. Whether Suni was following or not that was her cup of tea.

"Good evening De'" I curtsied "Hey Ma..." I hugged them both. De' hugged me back but er eyes were fixed on, I'm sure it was Suni, behind me.

"Mhmm Yale. You're ok?"

"Yes Aunty, just came to drop Suni" I turned to find out what was taking Suni so long. She was behind me.

"Hello mommy, hello aunty" she mumbled the greeting. Who wouldn't THINK there was something wrong. Gosh.

"Ah ah, Suni, hope all is well you're not looking to good." I had to shake my head, Trust my mom to call out what ever suspicions De' was obviously having.

"Aunty I'm fine, just stressed and tired." At least she remembered the plan.

"Mom we're just going to grab a bite inside for a bit. Are you coming back with me?" Theier stay at the hotel was meant to have expired today.

"Yes, but I'm going back tomorrow.." Oh. This was news.

"Really? So Soon...." Suni used this conversation to escape inside, I didn't miss De's eyes watching her like a hawk.

"Yes now, you think I dont know that I'm inconviniencing you? Don't worry my husband misses me, So I'm going."

I wasn't going to argue with her, but I laughed it off as a joke and made small talk, hoping to God that Suni was recuperating inside, she had better not think that it was done o. De' was just waiting for me to stop talking and leave and I'm sure to attack her. I'd call tonight.

We talked some more and I excused myself to go inside to "grab a bite" aka talk with Suni and prep her for the incoming storm.

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"So... what did Arinze advice?" I had entered her room and didnt bother to take off my shoes before sitting on the bed. Was that a blush?

"Before I lament on this situation, and just so you know we are NOT talking about it here..." she stretched her neck towards the door signaling me to be careful. "Walls have ears aka my Mom is like a dog, she can hear my heart beat I'm sure!"

"Ya ya I gorrit...."

"Bottom line is he agrees with you."

"He does?" it was my turn to blush.

"What's doing this one?" she let out a long hiss... see jealousy o.

"Mennnn Suni...that guy is.." words failed me...."he is...heaven sent!! Can i hear an Amen?"

She laughed... as in genuinely laughed. "I wont lie I almost agreeed with him JUST because of his face. Did you see his eyyyeeess??"

I faked a fainting as we both laughed and recaped the beauty of Dr. Arinze. Apparently Suni had another appointment for 2 weeks. If baby was still there. I begged her to keep baby till then JUST so we had reason to see Rinz again. Ofcourse she declined. As I was grovelling more, there was a knock and De' popped her head in.

"Aku, He's here." she said it with so much....heart ache.

Suni almost lifted mood fell right back down.

I waited till De' closed the door and I heard her footsteps fading into teh living. "You gonna tell him?"

"Better now than later abi?"

I nodded in agreement and stood up, getting my things together. "I'll call you tonight."

"Sure"

"Can I telll Shafa...?"

"I can see you two have nothing to talk about that's why you're using me as gist." I opened the door ans we started to make our way to the living room. "Sure.....he's gonna get to know anyways..."

I saw Toba sitting in the living room trying to look relaxed as De' and Mommy stared him down. Well just De', mommy was doing like she was watching tv. "Sup Toba"

"Yale, was good now."

Small talk in the midst pf tension I could cut with a knife. Poor guy.
I summoned mom and we said our goodbyes and headed out the door. De' following suit to her room.

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Me and mommy made our way back home. She mentioned her plans for exit back to Nigeria tomorrow and I listened rying to fit the whole thing into my schedule for tomorrow. My boss wouldn't be happy that I had to leave early. But Ah wells... I was nodding at something she said when she another thing that caught my attention big time.

"You know, Hadiza and I are not children. We are mother's" Ah! And.....? I took my eyes off the road for a minute to look at mommy. She was still looking forward. "All these things you as children are experiencing we have either experienced or witness someone experience it before."

"Ok..??Mom... " I let out an uncomfortable laugh. She looked at me then.

"Suni -" she started, in my anxiety to know where this was leading I maybe answered too fast?

"Ehen? What about her?"

"She went to the hospital for what today?"

"Er......." Ye!!! See roadblock ooooo!!!!! "I'm not sure for what, why?"

"You're not sure." she said it so conclusively that I felt she might have an idea. But I die if I sell out before getting nabbed.

"Nope, she's been very secretive lately, I'm just trying to be here for her... with all, the.... the stress and stuff... you know"

Mommy just smiled and shook her head. "Yes, I know..." I looked at her again and from the way she looked back at me I confirmed that she knew. How in world....????

W18. Plan B

I tried the door first. Locked.
Doorbell?................Doorbell?................................................No answer.
So I rang.

"Er..... I'm outside."

"Shit........are you serious? Ok I'm coming back now..."

"You don't have to rush, I can just go home and come back later.... in fact.. let's do that.. do what you need to do and when you get back.. gimme a shout."

"No, no.. I'm coming back, for real.. I'm already in the car" I heard shuffling in the background "For real, 5 minutes....."

"Ok..." I hope he remembers my pet peeve. Waiting.
At 5.1 minutes, I shall be ouddie. What's the time now sef?
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Well, its been 6 minutes... I've even tried sef. I started making my way back to my car...and I have bigger fish to fry.

I got into my car and paused for a minute to think of my game plan.."Ok, go home...laundry....files for tomorrow....call mommy....." my thought process got broken with the sound of tires on tar behind me. Shafa was here. Hiss. I watched him through my rear view as he came out of his car. Sweat pants, hoodie, all 6'3 of him was clad in black, or stone gray, or whatever he looked hot. He came to my window. Knocked on it like popo. I gave him a VERY noticeable cut eye before I opened the door.

"Sorry now.... I broke laws because of you..."

"Only?" He closed my door for me and we walked back to the house. "I still have to go home though...."

"Sure...." He hugged me at the door before we entered the house, surprised me too with a very intense kiss. "Morning...." and he smiled. I blushed.

We entered and both headed for the kitchen...I automatically wanted to tell him what just went down. "Menn...." I began, then I remembered Suni's instruction before she left the car. At the same time though he started asking me about it.
"So.. Whats the deal with Suni?" Shet.

"Huh?" I busied myself in the fridge looking for nothing.

"Is she ok?"

"She will be, she's just ...." I finally pulled out the eggs and peppers. "...overwhelmed."

"Hmm..." He got the pan ready, I started cutting the veggies. We worked together in silence for a bit. "So next weekend huh?"

I was lost... "Next weekend what?"

"The marriage now, it's next weekend...."

Ah...."Maybe...."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe now...." I looked at him through my lashes as I pretended to cut , he looked confused but suspicious. He stopped what he was doing.

"Yale...."

"Huh?"

"Look at me..." I did. "How do you mean, maybe? Is the wedding off?"

I stopped cutting too "I don't know Shafa....." I turned around so I could lean my back on the counter "Things are not looking too great now...that I can tell you"

"Parents are against it for sure ba?" He reached for the onions I had just diced and added it to the oil. "I knew it.. damn that's ruff, Toba seemed ready still."

"We'll see..."

"Na wa o, can one girl have so much drama in her life? It remains to born pikin now." He laughed...and I almost cut my finger off! "Careful o.."

We got breakfast ready and ate, talked about different things and agenda's for the next week. Just chilled. I was 70% listening, the other 30% of my mind was swirling. I needed to call Suni.

"By the way...Jackie says to apologize for her behavior"

"You talked to her today?"

"Yea we, we had to meet up, I needed to get some documents from her. She was HIGHLY embarrassed" He laughed, but I could tell he was watching me for a reaction.

"It's cool, alcohol is not our friend..." I continued eating. I don't know how Jackie was my concern now.

"She says she hoped she didn't disturb anything..." he smiled sheepishly.

"Why are you giving me the whole 9 yards of you guy's conversation now?" It's not that I was getting irritated, I was just not in the mood to hear about their conversation and I, quiet frankly, didn't give a rat's ass about Jackie's feelings. Next time she won't be drinking alcohol like it was water. Hissssss

"I know, but I've seen the way you act every time I mention her name or anything to do with her and I know it kind of bothers you, I just want you to..." he paused for a minute, like he was choosing his words carefully. Smart man. "..not see her as a threat."

"Threat to what? To Whom? Haha..." I actually laughed. "..Shafa, please jo. Go and carry on idle conversations with whoever you wish to, You're a grown ass man." I picked at my food.

"Ok, Ok...." He had inhaled his food, as always, he leaned back and watched me for a minute. I got uncomfortable. "So it doesn't bother you?"

"No..it doesn't" I felt like someone just stamped LIAR! on my forehead.

"My bad then..." he stood up and packed his dishes. "I just feel that it does.... wrong intuition I guess." Wrong intuition my butt. I'm sure he could hear the discomfort in my voice any ways but I die if I admit it. If he felt I was uncomfortable, why did he keep bringing everything that has to do with her up? Like seriously.

He walked back to me and pulled me up. "About last night..."

Eh hennn!! I even forgot! "Yes....?"

He nuzzled my neck and my thoughts became blurry. "I feel... again... going with intuition here..." His hands crept up my back...and he did that runny-finger-down-spine-bones he does and I swear I couldn't stand any more."...that we have unfinished business."

I almost concurred. "We do?" the skill and speed in which he undid my bra, he needs an award. "Ahh... Ok ok ok ok" I escaped his grip. "Wait."

"Again?" He looked amused.

"Stop jo...."

"I'm not doing anything, you look flustered though..."

"Shh.. I'm trying to think here." I had the "wait" finger in the air as I tried to clear my cloudy head.............................Clear. "Ok... I have to go..."

"Our business nko?"

"Shafa......" I was about to remind him but I think he saw a lecture coming so he put up his hands in submission.

"I get it...." he started walking back to the room "Don't forget your bra o!"

Idiot. I re-clasped my bra and went after him to the room to get my things.


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Today was going great... Yesterday, I had left Shafa's house and gone home to get my errands done. Mom was still at the hotel with De' and yes, De' was still distraught. God knows if she'd survive if she hears of Suni's plight. Suni called to tell me about the appointment she made at the clinic on the other side of town for today, (trust she's trying to keep things on the low), it was for at 4:30. She'd asked me to come with her and hold her hand. The big baby.

Suni was wearing humongous shades and a trench coat. And she was really trying to blend in? What a loooooseeer!

"Suni you're insane oh, why the HELL are you dressed like this?"

"See ehn, just drive."

We chit chatted on our way to the clinic. Toba's dad had called the night before again pleading with De' to get Suni's dad here. He said he was unable to go back to Naija himself.

"Me I just don't understand how that's going to happen. Daddy is NEVER going to agree to such a thing" Suni seemed less concerned about the issue now that a supposedly bigger problem had surfaced. I think...

"Have you mentioned anything to Toba?"

"Helll NO!-"

"Sorry na..."

"Did you say anything to Shafz?"

"Just that things aren't looking good.."

"Great, what did he say?" she didn't look too thrilled at my staller answer. Too bad. I think I tried.

"Nothing............................yet."

Our conversation trickled to a stop as we got to the clinic and prepared to see the doctor. Suni was visibly shaking... the girl was scared. I held her hand. We waited for.....about 30minutes in silence. (So much for appointments!) then they called her name. We both jumped. The nurse laughed as she ushered us in. I don't know what was tickling her. She did the prelminary stuff, asking us questions about why we were here ans stuff, Suni seemed to have swallowed her tongue. I nudged her hard..

"Talk now.."

"Er, I'm not feeling too good, just wanted to cross check stuff. Temperature, fever..."

This babe just lied through her teeth. The Nurse seemed to realize too. She just nodded and scribbled something... or nothing? on the paper. "The doctor would be with you soon."

She left us and we waited for another 10 minutes. Staring at the weird adverts on the wall and hearing ourselves breathe. Then the door creaked open. And the doctor came in.

Light skinned. No pimples. Dark haired... sleek glasses. Fresh looking doctor like this. Wow.
Suni seemed to have noticed to. She had her mouth open. Bush rat. I nudged her again!

"Hello Ladies..." he looked up and Lord take me higher! This man had dark gray eyes. "So..." he looked down at this chart again "...Akusuni...?" he looked from me to Suni, obviously lost. I pointed at Suni.

Suni was smiling like a GOAT. The lost cause didn't even answer, she just nodded. I don't blame her.

"Hi Akusuni" he extended his hand to shake her, then turned on... sorry to me. "And you're her sister?"

Sister, friend, same thing. "Sorta.." I let out an awkward laugh." I'm Yale." I shook him back. Weakly.

"Ok! I'm Doctor Ndani." he smiled AGAIN and pointed at his tag. "Arinze Ndani. So .......What brings you in today?"

W17b. A Slight Change of Plans

Suni collapsed on the toilet. Tears were running down her face, but she wasn't even crying... I picked up the test and as much as I dreaded, but now expected. There was a there was an extra faded red line.

I really didn't know what to say. I hugged her as she...just sat. Me I started crying. God knows why tears started running down MY cheeks. I felt...weird. Some next level kind of mixture of feelings like this. Like I was happy, but sad, but confused, but scared, but feeling for Suni. I don't even know if she was happy or not.

We were in the stall for a bit. Another lady came into the washroom,saw us and.... left.

"Suni...stand up..." she was still silently crying..."Stand up...Let's go..." She didn't argue, she didn't agree. She just let me pull her up and we walked out. From the washroom, to the exit.

Screw breakfast.

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We had been driving around for about an hour? maybe more... my cellphone rang.

"Good or bad news?" it was Shafa.

"I don't even know myself...." I looked over at Suni, she was still staring into space. She had stopped crying, but she still hadn't said a word. "I don't even know..."

"Hm....I'm going to run some errands for a bit. Are you coming back home soon?" I caught that.

"No, I don't think I'll be back for a while...."

"K see you when you get back. Hug Suni for me...."

"K..." My tank was on E...gas station o..."Shafa says to hug you." the silence hadn't been bothering me for the past hour or so that we'd been driving, but now that I had finally spoken..(to someone) It just felt weird.

"Suni..I don't know how to feel now cause I don't even know how you feel. Are you sad? Or....Like...is this a... totally catastrophic thing?" She moved, adjusted her seat. At least I got something. "Like...I mean.. you love... at least that's what you told me....you love him. Right?" Nothing. "Maybe you jumped the gun here, but at least its not with a total douche...he's an OOOOKKK person.." she laughed. a dead laugh... but one nonetheless. "I just wish you'd say something. I'm really at a loss here"

"I'm confused as hell Yale." Her voice sounded weird now that she had finally spoken. It sounded different. "I've just gone from yay to...huh?????" I crawled into a gas station that I spotted, but just parked on the side. "I don't know how Toba is going to take this. I don't know how I'M going to take this. I'm not ready for a child..........not now."

"You know we have to go to the doctors to confirm right?"

"2 stripes, doctors note. Same difference."

"Suni, for real, some of these tests are faulty."

"You're right...."

"This doesn't have to be a bad thing-"

"But it's not the right time." her voice cracked. "I CANNOT take care of a baby right now, so either way its has to..."

Excuse me??? "Has to what?" I did NOT like that tone.

"Either ways I can't do it Yale." She ran her hands over her face and looked up to the roof. She was crying again....she tried opening the door. it Was locked... she started struggling with it...

"Wait relax jo..." I undid the safety lock "I'm unsure of where you're getting at..."

"I'M SAYING IF IT IS FOR REAL I CANNOT GO THROUGH WITH IT. IT HAS TO GO." She opened the door and got out.

I didn't even follow her. I felt like she had just thrown cold water in my face to wake me up. Go where? Is this girl on crack? Suni and I had talked about this before... way back in Uni. We had had the pro-life, pro-choice argument time and time again. She was pro-choice, I was pro-life. I was simply not able to comprehend the idea of playing God. She had understood that, or so she claimed. I remember, I always said, "let's just hope we don't find ourselves in that situation."

She was considering abortion. Because of what? She CAN'T do it? BECAUSE OF FLIPPING WHAT?

I got out of the car.

"You must be insane Suni." She was sitting on the sidewalk. "If you can give me 3 valid reasons for considering such a... such a..." I couldn't even find the word. This girl had NO GOOD reason. not a SINGLE one... to consider abortion.

"I'm not ready." she used her fingers to count. "I can GUARANTEE you Toba isn't either " she counted number two on her hand. "and I AM NOT READY" Finger number three.

"Wow... you mean our selfishness has reached this level?"

"Please Yale, don't start with your mother Theresa talks-"

"I shouldn't start? You think you have not caused enough stress? You now want to go and endanger you life because of some selfish streak you refuse to curb?"

"What stress am I causing?"

"Are you kidding me right now Suni?"

"No enlighten me, miss I am perfect I can do no wrong."

"Oh wow."

"Yes now... shebi you're the one that has to make "ethical" decisions, you're the one who's faced with this problem and can make REASONABLE decisions" she stood up "Oya. Tell me the stress I'm causing for you!!"

How pointless was this? I'm here trying to talk sense and she's here trying to turn the whole thing around. How is it that she can stand here and say I'm being unethical when I say considering abortion is selfish. Because I'm not in that situation? What STUPID nonsense is that? Its just like asking me how do I know fire can burn me when I haven't stood inside?

"You know what. Never mind... we need gas."

"No now.... talk? Cause I'm confused as to how you're so sure I might be making a wrong decision"

"Abeg enter the car let's go. I'm tired." I walked back to the car.

"That's what I thought." She followed.
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"Don't tell Shafa....." We hadnt said anything to each other from the gas station. We were at her house now.

"He's going to ask me."

"Well don't say anything."

"I'll tell him you said that." I turned into her drive way. she paused before she got out.

"Yale, I didn't say I'm going to do it, but I have to think. I can't just accept this without weighing my options."

"It's not just YOUR option anymore...." She didn't say anything. "If you need anything call me k?" She nodded and started to get out of the car. "Don't forget to make an appointment." She nodded again. "Like NOW!"

"Yes mommy."