W8. No Games

He smiled. I helplessly smiled back.

"This is unacceptable behavior."
I stepped aside to let him in. Black. He was wearing black dress shoes.

"Well, it bothered me how over the edge you were." He turned to look as me as I closed the door. "I was worried, Sue me!" As I locked the door again, he made his way to living room which was only a few steps away to the right.

"Mennnn, It's been a while." He looked around as though taking things in again. "I kinda missed this place."

Six months ago, Shafa was a free boarder here. It wasn't like we were living together, but he was always here. More often than not, he'd buy food, do his laundry here, work from here, go TO work from here...BUT we were not living together. It was just a matter of convenience. I mean if we were going to be sl-

"Er..Where's Puny?" He had walked by my now empty aquarium at the other end of the living room, near the entrance to the kitchen. The few weeks after Shafa left, I had neglected a lot of things, Puny, my little gold fish being one of them. He had died before I had come out from my depression. I feel so bad, because I had really liked Puny. He'd added life to the aquarium. Shafa had given me Puny for last birthday.

"He has gone to be with the Lord." I smiled a sheepish smile. I really should just sell that aquarium. It's not like I'm going to get another fish.

"I see..." He walked back to the sofa and flopped down. "Soooo...." I sat down on the opposite love seat. A pre-cautious move. He seemed to smile at that.

"So..what happened?" he was asking me about tonight I guess.

"You really didn't have to come, I just had a very rough day at work." I started looking for the remote for the TV. It was way too quiet in here, I could hear myself breathe!

"Yale, rough days " he used his hands to emphasize the quotes, " cannot make you stress like this, it's something else and you know it." The remote was on the stool beside him.

"It's nothing really Shafa, I just need rest, I'd be fine tomorrow. Could you please turn on the TV, the remote is beside you." I was NOT going to go near him to get that remote. Lai lai.

"I didn't come here to watch TV" He took the remote but did not turn the TV on. "I came here to find out whats wrong with you. I hate seeing you stressed like this." I almost believed him.
But thinking back on previous incidents, the statement just felt empty.

"Really Shafa." My sarcastic tone applied. "Anyways, I'm fine, no stress." I adjusted my Monalisa sitting position to a more relaxed one. If I kept showing I was tense he won't drop this subject. Engage him in small talk Yale. "So, how was your mini vacation in the land of hot bodies and heat?" I meant Miami.

He laughed "I was working o, don't get it twisted, and this shit was Hard! Those guys were brutal." he shook his head as if he was remembering the experience " But it was fun and it definitely makes my portfolio even sexier so I can't complain"

"A ya. So you're back for good?" Not that it mattered to me, but it just seemed like the next question to ask.

"Do you want me to be back for good?" Trust Shafa to start playing this game.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm only wondering" I started picking at invisible flint on my still barely visible stained, but now crumpled from lying in bed, skirt.

"It's the plan, I already have a few contracts lined up. Them Miami guys gave me a good reference and links. So.. things are looking good. Men Yale, I understand there might be some animosity here, but at least offer me a drink!" Freak I forgot my manners.

"Sorry, forgot. What do you want? Coffee? Pop? Juice? Water?" I stood up. I had to walk by him to get to the Kitchen. So much for trying to avoid being remotely close to him.

"What kind of juice do you have?"

"Pineapple, Apple and Orange."

"Is the orange home made?" Why the hell was he asking so many questions?

"Yea..." Hmm, I guess he remembered that I had a thing for making my own orange juice.

"I like the juice you produce" he smiled and wiggled his eyebrows perversely.
Ewwwwww. Yes, Shafa could be gross like that. I should have known where he was going with that unnecessary Q&A!

"I'll just get you water, you nasty something!!!" I threw one of the couch puffs at him as I started to make my way to the kitchen. "I just remembered I ran out of juice!" I said that in my attempt to be smart. He laughed out loud. I decided to be specific so he can know I wasn't as filthy. "THE DRINKABLE ONEE!" He laughed even harder, Oh shoot. I should have just shut up! I slapped his head, painfully, when I walked past him.

I pause for a moment in the kitchen. Shafa is smooth. Very.
He's can be so manipulating, not in an evil way, but in a way that he can steer things to favor his desires. Shafa knows the effect he has on me and I'm sure when he was coming here, he knew I would not turn him away that's why he just showed up. No warning. He knows how frustrated I was, I am, and he knows how much I'd have loved to talk to him in my state. That's why he showed up. As frustrating as it was that I wanted to talk to someone, preferably him, I know I can't be setting myself up for disaster like that again. For all I know, we still wanted different things. It may seem like I was jumping the gun, from "tell me what's wrong with you" to "let's get back together", but the truth is, I know that talking to him will bring up things I'm still , apparently, trying to suppress. I CANNOT let him do me wayo again. He can take his fine ass self and go shove it ......I was looking for an appropriate abuse.... Shove it up Miss Stunna's -

"Na wa for this your water o? Did you run to a well??"

I quickly get the glass of water, grab a coaster and go back to the living room. Shafa had moved to the couch closer to mine, the one right in front of the TV. I stopped.

He looked at me then. "I just wanted to see the TV well" he said guiltily.

"Sure." I dropped the glass, beside his phone, on the center table in front of him.

"But my Jui-"

"If I kpot u ehn!" he laughed and shifted on the couch. I guess he was expecting me to sit beside him. Lead us not into temptation, Deliver us from evil...I walk around the coffee table to my former seat. Yes O! I shall not succumb.

"Ok o!" he takes a sip of his water as I settle back. " So yea what were we talking about sef..."

It took me a moment myself to recall...staying. Yes. It was about staying... before Shafa decided to fall into his foolery.

"You were mentioning how it's looking good that you're back in town for good."

"Oh Yea, so yea, the jobs are looking great. You know me. I'm where the money's at."

"Yea... well that's good to hear." I looked at the clock, it was 12 midnight.

He followed my eyes. "I know, you have work tomorrow morning. Me too..." Sharp guy. ",I really just wanted to make sure that you were OK, I felt really bad for fueling you frustration today" He licked his lips like he was preparing to say something serious. I guess he was serious. His eyebrows furrowed together. Perfect eyebrows by the way. That was Shafa's serious face. "I really wish you'd just talk to me, or something. Cause it's bothering you big time..."

Well, I know what you are up to Mr. Johnson. I'm two steps ahead hunny.

"Shafa, I'd be real with you, because quite frankly, I'm exhausted and not in the let's-start-playing stupid-games mood..."

"I don't get..."

Guess it's time to lay my cards on the table, No time for games.

"Of course you don't get. But me I get it. I get very well. From what I recall, as of the last time we had a full out conversation. I was of the understanding that, we were not on the same page when it came to us. You showed me quite clearly as a matter of fact. I mean it is good to see you again, doing well ad stuff, but do you seriously expect to walk here and kind of like kick if off like nothing ever happened? Do you REALLY think we are still close like that?" I didn't wait for him to answer... if he intended to. "Well, I don't think so. Yes, there IS something bothering me, but it is MY business. We are not cool like that for me to just share what's bothering me with you, like your my best friend. No Shafa, that's not how things work. You may be used to your good looks and swagga getting you most things, but this is me. It's Yale. You should know I refuse to roll like that. I might have been your play thing before but a lot has changed since then. A lot. "

I wasn't angry. I was just...I needed to nip this at the bud. Didn't want any misunderstandings.

"Wow..." He had been staring at me the whole time, now he just cocked his head, like he had just realized something, then sat back. It looked like he didn't expect this. I guess he didn't know me that well after all....

"Babe, I just want to know what wrong with you...it's bothering me. Of course I know we weren't just going to hit it off..." he ran his hand over his face. "I hoped??" Hoped what? He let out a loud sigh, "Yale, I just want us to go back to being friends at least. I really miss just hanging with you..." He sat forward and rested his hands on his knees. He had an intense look on his face. This would've been a good photo for a magazine.

"Well, it's not going to happen overnight Shafa"
I won't lie I was kind of happy that he still wanted me...in some way.

"So you would still kind of give us a chance? Not even for anything intimate, just...getting back to getting used to each other?" He raised one perfect eyebrow. Aww, the boy is cute.

"Maybe..."

"I like the sound of maybe...." he smiled a satisfied smile. Then all of a sudden, he stood up. Like his mission was accomplished. Er................?

"Er...what is it?"

"I'm going now, shebi you don't want to talk to me." Is this guy serious?

"Well..." I stood up too..

"Yes?" this joker was smiling again. I shall not give him the pleasure.

"Nah, nothing... I'll walk you to the door" he just shook his head.

"Before nko." he gulped down the remaining of his water before he turned to head to the door. Instead of turning left to go to the door, he turned right, in the direction of my room, like nothing was wrong.

"Where do you think you're going?" Small panic was in my voice.

"Washroom now, or I can't pee again?"

"Oh, Sorry...."

I just stood awkwardly at the door waiting for him, and marinating on this our very interesting, make-up? conversation. I don't know.



Femi Kuti's '97' song started playing. Sounded like it was coming from a phone.

Oh, Shafa's... he had forgotten it on the coffee table. I went into the living room to get it.

"Can you please get that Yale.." he yelled from the washroom.

Lailai... because of what? I picked up the ringing cell phone to carry to him.

"I'm not your secretary" I couldn't help but just look at the phone, habit I guess.

Caller ID read, Miss Wright. Who the..?

Shafa must have heard his ring tone coming close because he came out of the washroom at that point.

"Who's it?"

"Iono, it say's Miss Wright." I handed the phone to him.

"Oh, Jackie..."

Oh Really?

W7. Reconsidering

"Yale...?" Would it be childish to hang up now? "I can hear you breathing jo, answer..."
Oh yea, I forgot that.

"Yes Shafa." I made it a point to sound very unhappy to be on the phone right now.

"I'm sorry..."
Well isn't this something.

"First off, how did you get my number?"

(PAUSE)
----

When things had been forced to a stop about six months back between Shafa and I, I had made sure I got rid of everything connecting us, call me childish, but I deleted him from my facebook, MSN, I stopped hanging with his crew, and I changed my number. It's funny how life can change when you actually make serious changes.

Six months ago, at the point when I got tired of being his little plaything, he mentioned getting a contract Job in Miami for six months. I had expressed my wants to make things official. Like I'm not one to push for a relationship but we had been playing this game for a year and some, I was not getting any younger. I needed clarity. So I had asked him what he thought of us making it actually official. He had laughed, and said "Aren't we official enough?" After I gave him my "this is not a joke" look, he had gone on to say something even more stupid and in my eyes degrading. He said "Let's not ruin what we have, Yale, with definition" To some extent this makes sense. But for the most part it was a bag of BS! I mean, when two people mutually agree, no words being said, to coincide as a pair with no real definitions it's fine. Until something that requires definition happens and then you really see where you stand.

Our own main occurrence happened when after my "Let's make this official" spiel, I noticed we weren't coinciding as comfortably as we used to and at that time he was leaving in like a week. I'm freaking out now because here I am becoming stalkerish. Calling his phone and leaving messages way too many times in one day, going by his house just to see if he was home and know for sure if he was avoiding me, and then to ice this humiliating cake, for his send-off party Shafa darling comes through with a random white chic. I think her name was Stephanie, but who cares. He came, gave me a peck on the cheek like a flipping acquaintance and told me to have a good time. Not once did he talk to me during this crucial event.

I left early.

My eyes had opened to something that I didn't want to see before. I was "just another babe" on his list. I was hurt, big time. For like a week and some I was not myself. Thank God for Suni and work. I buried my self deep in those two, that from afar you would think I was ok. Suni was the only one who knew the extent of this hurt.

Now, aparentlllyyy, Shafa started to call Suni about 2 months ago talking about how he felt bad about the way he treated me and how he was scared to really define things then and all that nonsense, but I was very much getting over him. Or getting over the whole issue. I can easily say I loved Shafa, but it was obvious he didnt even like me at the end of the day.

Tough world we live in huh?

---

"I bribed Suni" he sounded proud of himself.
Suni,I'm sure, didnt ask for much to give him my number, she has been vouching for the man since.

"Really." I was determined to keep this conversation short.

"Yale, for real though, I didnt know you were frustrated to that point. But I honestly just found it a bit funny remembering little details about you... "

Silence.

"I am really sorry, I hope you're feling better. What's stressing you like this sef? I know you to be Superwoman"
Was this man going to try and carry on a conversation like we have been padi's for the past six months?

"C'mon you know you want to talk " I guess he was. " And you know I always come up with good solutions" That he did. I remember when I'd have an issue and we'd talk and he'd solve it like it was nothing - "So what's eating you Miss Dairo?"

"Shafa, I'm honestly too tired to play games. I'm too tired to tell you to leave me alone..."

"Cause you know I won't-"

"Yet, I'd still ask, because I really would like to just sleep and wake up tommorow morning refreshed and just...Happy. So pleaseeeee...free me!" I crawled out form under my covers, talking was taking up all the oxygen.

"Who's holding you now?" he giggled.
See, Shafa might come off to others as a smooth talker, but he's a such a joker.

"Shafa please."

"Can I come in?"
Ehn??????

"Excuse me?" For real, Wtf.

"Can I come in?...... Like indoors?"
See me see trouble.

" I still don't understand, like, into my house?" I jumped out of my bed. I don't know if my, all of a sudden, increased heart rate is because of my anger or my excitement.

"Men, it's like english is hard for you sha. Yes Yale, can I come into your house?"

It took me literally 5 seconds to run to my living room window and peek through its curtains. I saw a black Audi parked behind my Yaris. I couldn't make out the person in the car, but I don't think it takes a genius to know it was Shafa. Shit.

"What the hell!..." All the fatigue wiped from my voice.

"I felt really bad the way you ran off today, but seriously Yale, can I come in , I feel like a stalker, if not sef a killer sitting out here. Abeg, help me out..."

"I... er.. fine. I'm coming."
I don't know what I'm doing o! As much as I don't want to talk to him, I know I'd like to see him. Shhheeet. I frantically turn around in circles because I'm really confused as to what to do now. Fire on the mountain!!

I run to my room taking off my shoes in the process, looking in my corridor mirror as I pass it to make sure my face look's fine. I'm nervous.

I hear the doorbell.

Breath check.
Ye! Where's my Trident?
I lounge for my bag once I get into my room and fish out my pack of gum pretty fast.

Doorbell again!

"I'm cominggg!!" I yell, hoping he hears somehow. I'm running back to the door now.
As I get in front of it I slow down and take a deep breath, there's no use in him knowing I was frantic because of his one small insignificant presence.

Door bell again!!

"Shafa! You can stop now o..." I didnt open the door yet. I peeked through the peep hole, cross checking again. Yup. It was him. He was wearing the same outfit from this evening. Blue shirt, he seemed to have taken off his tie, a grey one he was wearing this evening, black slacks and ...I couldnt really see his shoes.

Mhmmnn...Focus, Strength. Focus, Strength.

"Errrr................." he looked up.

Well there goes my strength. I opened my door.

W6. Running is not an Option

"Oops! My bad..." she now giggled!!

I just stood frozen, letting the remnant from my drink dribble down to the floor. Meennn, Juju would have been useful now. I just imagined myself shouting "Odenshi!" and disappearing into thin air!!! Haha! I almost laughed myself.

"Ohmigod Ma'am I'm so sorry, I really apologize, I-" Oh Shuttup!

"It's ok, if you stop fussing I can get to the washroom fast enough to get this stain out..." I smiled one of those fake "thank-you-very-much-or-NOT!" smiles, and awkwardly exited my booth, almost sprinting towards the bathroom. I knew Shafa was still looking at me. I wonder if he was going to tell Miss loud-mouth-Stunna that he knew me. Hmm...

Since I was already at the back of the place, the ladies washroom was only a few lounges away. I was there in a split second. Slamming, or rather trying to slam the door, I took a deep breath as I leaned back against it. "Ok, You've been nabbed Yale...just chest it and stop acting like-"

The door flung open, and since I was still pressed up against it like it was my shield, my head took a good thwarting!

"Ye!!!"

" Ho-oly, I'm really causing you grief today aren't I?" Devil sent this girl!
Miss Stunna started trying to make sure my head was ok and everything, all up in my space like we were friends.

"You don't say..." I kind of stepped back to nurse my head myself.
She must have gotten the hint because she gave me some space then.

"I'm really sorry, my friend and I-" Friend ni, Uncle ko! *hiss* "-we're just in a hurry and we needed to get our order's in fast. My impatient alter-ego took over". She was talking so fast and she was very animated. If I wasn't the jealous ex...or past shenanigan...I might actually have found her entertaining.

"It's cool..." I made my way towards the sink because I didn't want to be jammed again with the heavy door and I really didn't want to be around Miss Stunna. She's really pretty. She had those "Wow" features, you know, big brown eyes, full head of good curly hair, perfect make-up... for sure she was a high-maintenance chic. I turned on the tap with so much anger that the force of pressure from the faucet made the water splash. The clumsy feeling that settled was just making things worse. My voice was shouting in my head "Ohhhhh-hhhh! What kind of nonsense is this noow!!!" Hiss.

I guess I hissed out loud because Miss Stunna spoke again "Really, I'm sorry..."
If I hearrrr srry one more time ehnnn!!

"Ok, you need to stop apologizing" I let out an uncomfortable short laugh "It's really not making matters better. I'll be fine. You can go continue your evening, thanks for your concern."

She carried on like I didn't just blatantly dismiss her "What drink were you having? I'll replace it"

Ah ah! Bigs Gex*! I'm sure she thought I'd be like "No...It's fine" , Ha! She never jam! I AM frustrated as hell and she IS the core reason why my frustration isn't reducing. So why the hell not? Make the girl pay jo.

"Baileys."

"Done! Let me go tell the clumsy waiter we both got the night! It'll be waiting for you once you get out. Again.." I gave her a warning look. " Fine... just so you know how ...you know... I am." She smiled and left me to cater to my skirt, disturbed mind and very frustrated evening.

I finally got most of the stain out and proceeded to strip myself so I could hold it underneath the hand dryer. I swear I didn't even care at this point if someone walked in. Like, I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm thirsty, and I'm in a place where I'd love to just have peace of mind, but instead I'm here!!! This is so not my kind of scene! Like I'm a stress free kind of babe for real!

I walk out of the bathroom and spot my drink before I even get to the table. She really came through sha. Because I'm hell bent on avoiding Shafa tonight, I fast-walk to my booth and quickly slip in. I don't even know where to continue from. I real don't feel like problem solving tonight anymore men. I jsut want to go home.

"You know herrrrr???" Freak. It looks like - "Why didn't you say anything...sheesh Shafa!" Yup, I've been casted big time. You know what? Screw this! How can I be moving around like a wanted criminal? I gulp down my Bailey's pack my stained papers and slip out of my booth again. I'm going to have to walk by them anyways when I'm heading out. There's absolutely no escape, so might as well face them.

"Oh-oh, she's coming..." Did this girl really think her loud voice could pass as a whisper? Dunce!

"Hey Shafa" Hearty smile Yale, hearty smile.
Because I refuse to look directly at him, from the corner of my eye it looks like he's laughing.

"This is so weird, I didn't know you knew him, why didn't you say so?"

"It would have been out of context"

"Yale, men you don't look too happy at-all!" He WAS laughing at me. The bastard. "Your nose is flaring small small, so I better shuttup." More laughter. "Her nose flares when she's frustrated" He was saying this to Miss Stunna.

"Aww that's so cute!" I wasn't liking her copycat smile. "Oh, but you're already leaving, did you inhale the drink? C'mon stay for a bit. By the way I'm Jacqueline. Jackie for short." Again this girl was running with her words. She extended her hand.

"Hi, I'm Yale." I shook her hand not because I wanted too, but because my mother raised me well. Shafa was still giggling on the side. It was REALLY beginning to piss me off. I really needed to get out of here. Now.

"Well, my night is already messed up enough so I really would like to get home now instead of stand here and be the freaking comedian of the night. Forgive my french. And I'm sorry we had to meet under such awkward circumstances Jackie. Erm... so ya, have a good night." And I walked out.

I couldn't wait to get home. I've never craved my bed so bad.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*grrr grrr*
"It's your Birthday so I know you want to ri-i-i-ide out, Even if we only go to my-y-y house..."

I was tucked way under my covers. Fully clothed. I currently did NOT want to talk with ANYBODY. I still felt very unhappy from this evening. So I ignored it.

My phone rang again, and again. Ugh! Freee me noww! I crawled my hand out of the covers and stretched to reach into my bag which I had dropped on the floor at the side of my queen size bed. I rummaged through the bag blindly until I felt the vibration of the phone as it started to ring, AGAIN! "I'm coming jo!"

I answered the phone as I retracted my hand back underneath the covers.

"Yale..." Great. What does he want now?

W5. Just a Freaking Moment!

After I dropped off Ronke, I decided I still had time to roam about and free up my overheated mind. So I drive down to this lounge downtown called Sparks, that's where I always find my peace of mind. Live Jazz bands play everyday of the week, so it's the perfect place to relax and unwind. Yes, I know, my presentation is still lingering at the back of my head, so I won't be unwinding for long. But I really need to step back for a moment, recuperate and come up with a game plan.

Cults, juju, sacrifice? Hmm... definitely in need of drink.

I wasn't expecting the place to be packed. It is after all a Wednesday night. Marcus , the bouncer, knows me so he doesn't even ID me anymore. Shafa and I used to come here so often they adopted us as part of the family.

"Horrible day at work Yalee?" He pronounces my name like the typical Oyinbo guy, Yahlii, it's actually kind of cute. "You look beat."

"Trust me Marcus, a drink would do me a whole lot of good right now..." He steps aside to let me through. I start making my way towards liberation.

Blank Checks & Liquor, a local band is on tonight. I like them. The first time I heard their name I was like 'shuuu..?', but they turned out to be pretty decent. I settle down in a booth at the back of the lounge. The layout of this place is genius. See its done in a way that when you enter the lounge the first thing you see is the small stage, but the rest of the lounge is sectioned off in high-framed booths. It's very private, but public at the same time. It's hard not to find peace in a place like this.

I order a drink and start to get my mind working while my order comes through. I pull out my pen and paper because every time I'm confused I do pro's and con's. I make lists. I draw charts. I guess I'm kind of like a visual person. BlankChecks tunes fade into a humming noise as I begin to evaluate. "So Pro's of getting Suni to pause and re-evaluate....- No wait, Pro's and Con's of chances that this juju stuff is even real" Frustration towards the way my mind couldn't find the right place to start problem-solving made my head snap up. In the process my eyes went to the door, not because I wanted to see who was coming in, but because.....just because.

A stunning lady, she looks mixed, is laughing quite loudly as she's coming in. That's a sicccck suit, Im thinking to myself. It was dark, clean cut and the skirt was like tiered in the slit area and-

Well look who the cat dragged in.

Miss Stunna, with her loud ass laughter and sick ass tailored suit drags in...Shafa.

Instinctively I duck my head, then it occurs to me that they would have to really be looking for me to find me. I relax. They are walking towards my booth, but stop a few feet away, about 2 booths I think... but I'm too chicken to stretch my neck to check. I scoot further into my booth so I'm really hidden, If you don't look close enough, you'd think it was empty. Above the now audible again music of BlankChecks, I can barely make out the lady's conversation, or monologue should I say, but trust me, I'm straining real hard.

"Shafa, you're too funnny!" More very irritating laughter "I can't believe you know that bouncer too! It's like you own the place the way he just let you in! Gosh we should do this all the time, I won't have to pay to get into anywhere again..." Shafa was smiling like a-....Ahh... it was a fake smile. See I know Shafa like that, when he smiles and his eye's squint like that, its fake. VERYYY aba-ish. He was helping her out of her tailored jacket. "Oh wow Shafa, it's crazy in here. I loveeee the decor...." The monologue get's even less audible as they disappear behind thier booth frame.

Who the hell is that? Ok, I find small comfort in the fact that Shafa had on his fake smile, but yo. I haven't seen that girl around town. Trust Shafa to be the first to tap the JJC babe. Argghh! I reach for my drink, which i notice hadn't even come. Menn, don't let me shout here o! I wave the waiter over as he's making his way to Shafa's table.

"Don't tell me you want to serve new comers when I ordered a small drink like 10mins ago and I'm still waiting?" I didn't mean to sound so sharp.

"Sorry Ma'am, coming right up" He shuffled away back in the direction he came from. Oops. Now he's going to forever think I'm a bitch. Oh well...life goes on. While he was catering to my alcoholic demands, I tried straining again to see hear what was going on. I feel sooo amebo-ish now.

"I already love it in this city, I was scared I wasn't going to fit in, but thank goodness we met" Miss Stunna was still talking? Kai, she's going to frustrate Shafa soon. Hehehehe!

BlankChecks seemed to have finished for the night because they were packing up and there was a light applause from the guests in the lounge. The waiter brought my drink along with unwarranted apologies for the wait. I felt bad.

"No, no it's fine. I'm sorry I snapped at you, I've had a terrible day "

"Oh, I totally understand, again I apologize for-"

At that point a sharp "Excuse me..." from around Shafa's booth caused my waiter to look up and in the process misplace my drink. Now I have Baileys all over my disorganized thoughts, and quite quickly, my beige skirt.

"Shiiittttt"

I don't even have to look up to know that the lounge's guests eyes are on me.
Even worse, Shafa's.

W4. Gist

"Even when I did not beg you to come and pick me, you still show up late! Since I could have been at home faaa"
This was what the child used to enter my vehicle. See disrespect.

"I don't know which city you live in sha, but in most there is something called traffic. And by the way I was held up at work"I waited for her to settle into her seat and put on her seat belt as she was ranting off something about being used and then inconvenienced and so on.

"I'm hunnnggrrryyyyy meeeen!!!"

"Shebi I'm carrying you home now..."

"Ehnnn? There is no food in my house o! You have to buy me dinner...."
Life is about give and take right?

"McDonalds. That's all I can afford"

"Gr-roooss!!!!" You would think the girl would not eat the food when I buy it , with a reaction like that. "So what's this information that you so desire that is making you be nice to me like this?"

There was no use beating around the bush.

"Ok you know Toba right?" Ronke smiled, but not one of those happy smiles, more like an 'uh-oh' kind of smile. I sense gist. "The guy Suni is dating?"

"Ehen what about him?" she was still smiling. Hmm...

"Well you know I'm not one to poke nose, especially when I don't see reason too, but I'm getting suspicious of this guys motives. Like so far he seems cool, but he's doing things that's making me question his authenticity you know..." I took my eyes of the road for a second to see her face. Ah, Ronke definitely knew something.

"Why? What did he do?" Either she was fishing for gist from my side, or she was leading me on. Either way I was more desperate for information so ...

"Ok, Ronke this is some extreme down low stuvvs, if it get's out I would KNOW where the leak came from and I swear I'd have your head, so keep it shush shush, no coded blogging-"

"Yea Yea.....whattt did he do???"

"Chill, I'd tell you now, let's quickly order."

As we were making our order Ronke kept on laughing and saying "Hmn...." and"Ha..." We got our "clogged artery ready" meals and I parked the car in an isolated spot. I didn't want any disturbance. This was going to be good gist, and good gist cannot be interrupted.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" that's me blowing out a long sigh. How d I begin?

"Oya, what did Toba do...?" This girl was already attacking the junior chicken, who does that? Eats the burger before the fries??

Just be straight. "Well, it looks like he proposed to Suni..." Her burger didn't make it to her mouth "Yes... that was my expression too." Apparently this was REALLY news to her.

"Shottttttoopppp!!!!" she dropped her burger down again "What did she say???"

"What do you think she would have said that would make me start to find you to get proper info?" I let the salt from the fries melt in my mouth before I chewed.

"Ye! See gbese live oo!!" she started doing her excited gist dance.

"So there is a story righhhtt?? Like this is not right, right?" My body starts to warm up when I'm about to hear something I don't want to hear, It's like an alarm. My ears become warm.

"Yo, Yale if you know whats good for you better take Suni straight to church let them pray for her. Ahhhhhhhh... hmn! Infact" she dropped her burger back in the wrapper like it was too hot, put it on the dash board and adjusted her self so she was facing me directly. Me maa, I lost my appetite and put down my fries.

"What do you mean, like are you joking?" I was waiting for the laughter that would tell me she was just being sarcastic.

"Look, Yale, Toba is a sketchy guy..."

"Er duhhh!!!"

"Ok remember Tunji? Adekola? We used to date back in Nigeria!?" I think my blank stare was annoying her, I couldnt recall anyone by that name. "The one my mom used to report to your mom about???? Cult membbberrrr??"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Ah... where was this going?

(PAUSE)
----

Tunji, if I remember clearly was one of Ronke's numerous boyfriends that she had back in Nigiera, in fact he was the last one before they shipped her here, mainly to save her life and cut her off from all the bad company. This boy was trouble, I had met him once and it was when I went back to Nigeria like 5 years ago. He was like 27 then. Ronke was 17. I remember my mom always asking me to pray for her deliverance because she under Jazz...It may sound funny now but it was serious back then.

----

"Eheennn, Ok Tunji was actually really in a cult." She looked at me like she was expecting this to be news. Me I was waiting to hear something more serious. "Well Toba was in that cult too o." Be careful what you wish for.

"Whatever"

"I swear, I don't know if he's still involved, but Yale that cult was not to joke with o and they had very strong fetish ties......" She shivered. Me too, I shivered in reaction. " Like... human sacrifices and stuff..." Ronke actually looked spooked.

This was too much for me. It's not like I don't believe in Juju and all but, I've been here way too long for it to be of importance in my life. This was too much like a Nigerian film.

"This is bull shit" I adjusted my self and reached for my fries again.

Ronke reached for her food too "Yo, I don't know how to advise on going about this. But really consider church men. Temi was gisting me sometime ago about all the stuff they were finding out about Tunji. Apparently in their cult, they look for women, get married to them spiritually and then sacrifice their souls. The bodies are used to make the charms they wear, like necklaces, belts, and what not." She was not looking at me anymore but I was looking at her well!

All of a sudden I didn't want to know this ish anymore.

"They call themselves Olode, meaning the Hunter......" We were both silent for a minute. Then something occurred to me.

" Why didn't you tell me this before? Like when I first introduced you to Toba?"

"Like you would've believed me... well I've erased that experience from my life, I don't even think I want to believe it anymore, but what your telling me sounds a lot like a pattern that Olode boys follow, but then again I don't know... Cause he might have left the cult and everything. Maybe he just really likes her. But seriously... you wanted the gist. Well you have it."

She finally picked up her burger, but didn't attack it like before. Just nibbled it. My phone beeped then. It was so loud we both jumped.

"Thanks for spooking us both out, Ronke"

"Shebi na you dey find gist."

I didn't look at my phone before I picked up "Hello-o??"

"Are you stalking us! Who's that with you in the car?" It was Suni. I peered out the window to check where she was spying from.

In the drive through lane I saw her waving like a mad woman from Toba's very un-missable Infiniti. "It's just Ronke, just picked her from school. Going to drop her home." I waved back.

Ronke whispered "Talk about the devil, abeg let's poof men, I need to study anyways."
I nodded in agreement. Toba was the last person I wanted to see now.

I started the car "We were just leaving though... "

"Are we still on for tonight? We have much to discuss you know" I could see from my rear view mirror Suni was still looking at my car. And so was Toba...

"Man Suni I have to cancel, huge presentation tomorrow. I promise we'd talk after though..."

"You've come again...."

"Sorry noww.... but I Have to go. Tommorow k? You guys have fun, don't get too fat."

"Never! Byee...."

I reversed and tried to drive as far away as possible from Toba's car just so we didn't have to see. But it was like I could feel Toba staring at the car.

"You feel it too se?" Ronke was looking at me when she said that...

"Haha you're a freak! Feel what????" I merged into traffic as fast as I could.

What the hell was I to do now?

W3. Plotting.

I guess it's only appropriate that I stop looking at him like he's the anti-christ and say hi. Suni whispers something excitedly to Toba, I don't have to be a mind reader to hear what she said. Toba's face tells me.

I put on my happy face and wave excitedly to Toba, as if I really want him to come over and join us. Right.

The ten seconds it takes for the "happy couple" to make their way back to the table ,I use to comport myself. I can't be letting him think I'm completely against their marriage....yet.

"Yale..."
Haha. I think this boy knows my mindset already sha! Is that defense I hear in his voice?

"Tobaascccoooo Saucee!!" I give him a hearty handshake, "How far now, nice surprise!", I fire an accusing look at Suni,"Didn't know you were joining us for lunch", then I smile back.

"Yea, spontaneous decision. You know how me and Suni roll"
Oh, the boy is feeling deep.

"Apparently not! So 2 week's huh? You guys definitely don't waste time!"

The three of us sit down again, Suni of course, feeling like she's now got backup, scoots so close to Toba its like she wants to enter him.

"When you've found the one, you've found the one" I giggle, not intentionally. Suni gives me the cut eye. "I've let many good things pass me by in the past, just because of my formerly indecisive nature, but I refuse to let that happen again. I'm..." he looks at Suni, who of course is already staring at him like he's the messiah, " We...are sure about this"

Oh Puke. This is really grossing me out. What's wrong with these two idiots?

"Toba, it's as if you're using me to practice what you'd say to you guy's folks, but it's ok. I can act that part easily-" My alarm beeped. Shit it's 3:55 already, breaks over. "But unfortunately, I don't have the time for practice, dress rehearsal this evening?" Me and Suni giggle, Toba stares at me. Why so serious??

Suni uses this opportunity to jump in "Damn I forgot your not your own boss, like me"

"Well forgetting is just one of the many symptoms of a porous brain, we should check that out"
She slaps my hand. "So can we meet after work, we gotta start working out the details. 2 weeks is a VERY short time"

"Yea yea, just call me, I'd be home." Suni stands with me so we can hug.

"We are going to have a very long talk Akusuni. And DON'T bring Toba!" I manage to slip the message in her ear before our hug broke.

"So Tobasco we shall be seeing right...."

"For sure For sure" he's rubbing his nicely lined beard like he's a mafia don. Ode!

"Ciao!"

I don't bolt off fast enough to hear Toba say to Suni "Sooooo...ssssheeee's not happy."

No Kidding.

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The thought that's on my mind when I sneak into my office 10 mins over my break time isn't that I'm late. Nahh. It isn't even that I still have a million phone calls to make before day's end and neither is it that I have to finalize a presentation for tomorrow morning at 9. It 's not dwelling on either of these very pressing issues but on Suni's mental condition and how I could save her from herself.

There's something that I'm missing here. Either Toba is shady as hell, my personal favorite and most logical reason, or Suni is hiding something from me. Something like the main reason why she's throwing out all logic and jumping the broom with "He's the oneee" Toba. The girl CAN be spontaneous and she CAN be irrational, but..... hmm. Verrrry sketchy. I really need to get on this tip of what's going on......fast.




Ronke.
Haha.. that's soo my highway to clarity.

Ronkus Ronkus. I love this girl, she's my cousin and all but Jesus, this girl can TALK! She embodies "gossip". How she knows everything and everyone's business to the most secret detail beats me. It's like shes omnipresent.

She would know something, hell anything, about Toba.
Her numbers saved as "Amebo" on my phone, it didnt take me long to find her number.



"It's before 6 oh! What is is with people not understanding the phrase "call me after 6?""
Her voice always sounds like shes complaining. Which she always is.

"Is that how to greet your elders?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh Yale I'll drop the phone on you oh! My minutes!"

"Cheapo! Ok ok ok, are you in the library for long today? Want me to pick you up?"

"Errr...I have a paper due tomorrow, but I'm almost done sha. What's this about? Cause I don't know since when did you started INVITING to pick me up?" She's sharp this one.

"Oh-hhh, must everything be give and take? Ca-"

"Yes...it must be give and take"

"Finne! I just want to find out something important"

"Sure sure sure, ask me after 6. Or when you see me at 7, I should be done by then! Muahs!"
And she was gone.

Well, hopefully she can give me some answers.

*knock knock*
Without even waiting for me to say 'yes?' Rita the office secretary popped her head in "Bossman needs you"

"Thanks..." more to myself cause the woman had vanished.

Ok time for work. Suni and her unwarranted disruption in my life and mind would have wait. Later this evening Ronke is going to download all the info I need about Toba and I'd know what to do from there. I might even be lucky enough to get the kind of info that would get me to either push the wedding further or excuse me entirely from planning a disaster.

I need luck today God... Luck.

W2. This is Madness.

It took me a moment I wont lie. I was blank for at least 30 seconds. there were actually no words to express my shock.

"Close your mouth before fly enters!" Suni was beaming, but staring at me, I could tell she was waiting for an answer.

"Wow....." that's all I could muster.

"It's gorgy right?"

"Wow...Suni.......give me a moment"
I grabbed her hand and took a closer look, not that I doubted the rock was real, but Wow! Talk about size?

"Suni it's beautiful............" I was still turning her hand this way and that, but it was a distraction for the gazillion thoughts running through my head.
"I mean I am very happy for Suni. Like this is a huge deal and -

"But what?....Yale" She pulled her hand back "Stop turning my hand like that before you break it abeg" I still tried to act shocked.

"But what Yale? Cause the way your doing as if God just struck you dumb, I know you have something to say, in fact I know what it is, but just humor me and say it"

So I finally looked at her
"Suni, I'm happy really. Toba seems like a nice guy..."

"But....?"
I gave her the "but seriously look"

She laughed a not confident laugh "But we've dated for only 6 months and he's a recent divorcee, Yale, you've sounded this cymbal in my head one million times, but I'm telling you this is it. Toba is the one"

"And you know this how? Because he threw a few good words here and there and bought you a flipping asteroid for a ring? Suni..."

"Yale Please. I didn't come here to ask if you approve. I called you to ask if you can be my chief bridesmaid, but if your bent on making my life a living hell because I've chosen to marry the man of my dreams then maybe I should reconsider my offer"

Na wa o.

"Suni relax. I just want o make sure you know what you're doing. God forbid if something should happen -"

"Oh you're hoping something happens se-"

"Can you let me talk?" I waited for the little anger ball to relax. "I know you love him. Hell it seems like he loves you too, but 6 months is a short time to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody. Somebody who already failed at marriage before 30. Somebody who just showed up and started spitting game. You don't even know his history well -"

"He told me -"

"He told you what? His "bad" pasts right? Everything ....and you believe all he says without doubt because he's Jesus ba? Suni if Toba ends up being a tout. There's no going back o. You know how your daddy feels about divorce. " It seemed like sense was registering in her mind. Or maybe that was just anger I saw.

(PAUSE)
----
See here's the deal. Toba is a nice guy. He comes off as a settled established young man. He waltzed into Suni's life 6 months ago when he moved into town from Prune Valley or one small village like this. He got a new managing job with one of the huge marketing companies here and is all pimped out and stuff. He drives one of those nice SUV's. I think it's an Infiniti. He dresses well. He is on point. But I'm very wary of men like that. Seeming all good, but I'm sure the skeleton's in his closet are not even dead yet. And I don't think Suni knows about them. Or all of them.
----

"I know how 'I' feel about divorce Yale, forget my dad. But I digress... Toba and I aren't getting a divorce. Are you going to be my bridesmaid or not abeg, this lecture is getting old fast." She started fiddling around, closing her purse like arranging it like she was about to leave. I decided to let the topic rest, I'm sure I had a few months under my belt to really settle down and seriously investigate Toba.

"Rellaxxxx jo, whens the date?" Suni dropped her angry face and became excited.

"2 weeks!"

"You must be CRAZY! 2 weeks how?"
Ahh there was definitely something fishy.

"Yup, we don't want to waste time, hence why I need-"

"Waiiiiiit there! My friend where do you think you are? Are you forgetting who you are? Because you're overseas you think you're acting film now. You can just marry anyhow? My friend will you return to earth!" I almost slapped her o!

"What? He said we should -"

"Suni. I can see jazz in effect."
This was starting to scare me cause she was serious.

"I'm serious Yale, we want to start our lives now. He says he can get his mom here by next week and..."

"Have you told your parents?"
She seemed unsettled now.

"Tonight...I'll tell them tonight. We are going to pay for all their expenses to fly down and we...."
Suni's voice trailed off in my head.

I think the girl has gone mad. Yes. there is no explanation for this kind of behaviour. Marry in 2 weeks? Because of what? Why?? What was happening here? What kind of marriage was this meant to be sef? The Bello's are huge back home so Suni marrying would be a big deal. Her parents would NEVER agree to this. Never -

"Yale!"

"Yes...." I returned back quickly.. "What?"

"We are just doing the court wedding now. We'd do the main one Nigeria. Stop freaking out please." She sounded so calm. Like a REAL crazy woman.

"And you can't just wait because.....?"
I was really lost.

"Well...." she trailed off, her eyes were looking behind me. She looked like a mad woman I swear. It just remained ragged clothes and dreadlocks.

Then she jumped up, startling me to look at what got her up.

Toba emerged through the entrance.

Great!

W1. "START HERE": News

It's Monday again. The national worst day of the week. But somehow I seem to like it. Bittersweet feelings though because it's not as if I look forward to Mondays, in fact 95% of the time, like everyone else I'm always complaining the night before as to how I don't want Sunday to end, How I wish Monday's could be eliminated forever, blah blah blah. But once, I open my eyes (Thank you Jesus) it's like I always have this new energy, this new determination. Sort of like "well it's here so better deal with it with Joy if you want to have a good week" type of mentality. So...*beep beep beep*

Ugh that flipping message tone or whatever they call it, I don't even know how to change it.
But I'm rushing, as usual, so I quickly glance to see if its important enough for me to drop my shoes and stop for a split second, which I don't have!

Ah it is o! It's Suni. (Pronounced Sue-Nee).

See whenever Suni texts me its important. VERY. Because the girl doesn't know the difference between delete and enter. She's so not computer literate, I had to pay her to get a cellphone. Imagine? So you can see how highly important & probably urgent it is that she took the time to try and understand her contraption of a cellphone to text me. I drop my shoes and open the text message.

"abCal me."

Lol.... Suni. You won't kill me.

She's on speed dial so it only takes another split second that I don't have to call her while I try to complete the task of wearing my shoes.

"So, you mean to say "abcal me" is all you could get into a simple text? Are you an illiterate? Oh yea, you failed English..."

"Don't let me scratch your tongue Yale"
She sound's a little bit, not herself... but then again its Suni, Mrs.drama queen.

"Always so vicious...see, make this quick, I'm running late"
Don't worry I'm not being rude, you have to handle Suni with a strict fist if not...she will just do you wayo.

"Ok, obviously you don't have the time to see if I'm OK or not so just meet me for lunch at 3"
Can you see? She's already trying to manipulate me...

"Are you pregnant or dying?"
2 very serious issues that can make me appear at her heels before yesterday.

"You're a fool...no, but we really need to talk this afternoon, serious stuffs"
Mhmn Suni, very serious.

"So this is why you raised alarm? See don't be texting me for foolishness at critical hours! Ok, then see you at 2"

"Bye binch.. you're buying"
Suni won't kill me sha!

So now I'm all shoe'd up and ready to roll for work.
Where the hell are my keys?

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****************************************************************************************************

Tim Horton chairs disgust me. And I hate waiting. Where is this heifer? It's 3:05 already!

"Yale.."
No way... it's can't be. There is only one person that can say my name like it's his last breath. Shafa.

I take my time to compose myself before I turn.
"Shafa..."

"Wow...today must be my lucky day" I see he was still very easy on the eyes.

"And mine, my unlucky...." this is not a joke

(PAUSE)
----

So Shafa is my ex-something. We never really dated, but we were an item. Briefest story of what happened: We had our little shenanigans and I realized, not to anyones surprise, that that was all I ever was. Shenanigans!....

----

"Ahaha! You got jokes right..."

"Wassup Shafa" I made it a point to look at my watch and obviously scan the room for that bofun who's tardiness has now put me in this VERY unwanted situation.

"Are you waiting for someone.." He was looking at me again. See there's a way Shafa looks at me that makes me feel he's inside me head. Its very unnerving. I look away.

"As a matter of fact... yes." No sign of stupid Suni yet, a quick glance at my watch lets me know its 3:10 now.

"You're still as impatient as ever I see..." What was THAT meant to mean?

"Yes Shafa, waiting for no reason still pisses me off" He laughs, but he's still piercing me with those eyes.

"What?" I swear if Suni does not show up in the next 30seconds she's toast when I see her.

"You're looking good Yale" why did I just blush?

"Did you expect different" from the corner of my I see that mongrel waltz in like the whole world was waiting for her. She spots me and Shafa very quickly. Apparently when we are together it's very obvious.

"Shaaaaafffyyyyy" I swear, if I could mute the binch.
Suni and Shafa were, are good friends.

"Are you terrorizing Yale with your good looks ?" Oh God, give me restraint, help my anger Lord!

"Suni?? No way! You're still short ? You refused to grow ba!"

"Free me, I'm not the one competing with mount Everest" Shafa is 6'3.

"So this is who you were almost breaking the floor waiting for?"

"I'm sure you can understand my impatience now" I really would love for this happy-let's catch up- conversation to end now. Shafa was not on my "people to see" list today..or EVER. If wishes were horses.

"Oh come off it, I couldn't find my keys"

"As usual" me and Shafa said together.
We all laughed, you would not have known Shafa was the last person I wanted to see. And he rally was.

"Well as much as I'd like to sit and chat with you beautiful ladies" So why did he have to look at me like that when he said it "I have to jet. Gotta make that paper so I can pay Yale's bride price"

"Haha! Very funny Shafa"

Suni was quick to whine about our "unbearable loss" "Ohhhh Shaffy! it's not fair, ok, call me later o..."

"Will do..Bye Yale"

"See ya."

I'm trying not to stare after him, but God damn the devil to hellfire the boy is hot.




"Please buzz me when you get back to earth"

"Sorry jo. First off.. you're a horses ass for keeping me waiting, secondly make this quick I need to get back to work, some of don't live off of daddy's money."

"Can I at least buy a coffee?"

"No...."

"Ok..."

I don't like when Suni becomes serious...seriously. "What happened?"

"You mean who happened..."

"Ok..?" She adjusts her self and puts her hands on the table.

"Toba proposed."
That's when the gleam of the HUGE rock on her finger caught my eye.