W7. Reconsidering

"Yale...?" Would it be childish to hang up now? "I can hear you breathing jo, answer..."
Oh yea, I forgot that.

"Yes Shafa." I made it a point to sound very unhappy to be on the phone right now.

"I'm sorry..."
Well isn't this something.

"First off, how did you get my number?"

(PAUSE)
----

When things had been forced to a stop about six months back between Shafa and I, I had made sure I got rid of everything connecting us, call me childish, but I deleted him from my facebook, MSN, I stopped hanging with his crew, and I changed my number. It's funny how life can change when you actually make serious changes.

Six months ago, at the point when I got tired of being his little plaything, he mentioned getting a contract Job in Miami for six months. I had expressed my wants to make things official. Like I'm not one to push for a relationship but we had been playing this game for a year and some, I was not getting any younger. I needed clarity. So I had asked him what he thought of us making it actually official. He had laughed, and said "Aren't we official enough?" After I gave him my "this is not a joke" look, he had gone on to say something even more stupid and in my eyes degrading. He said "Let's not ruin what we have, Yale, with definition" To some extent this makes sense. But for the most part it was a bag of BS! I mean, when two people mutually agree, no words being said, to coincide as a pair with no real definitions it's fine. Until something that requires definition happens and then you really see where you stand.

Our own main occurrence happened when after my "Let's make this official" spiel, I noticed we weren't coinciding as comfortably as we used to and at that time he was leaving in like a week. I'm freaking out now because here I am becoming stalkerish. Calling his phone and leaving messages way too many times in one day, going by his house just to see if he was home and know for sure if he was avoiding me, and then to ice this humiliating cake, for his send-off party Shafa darling comes through with a random white chic. I think her name was Stephanie, but who cares. He came, gave me a peck on the cheek like a flipping acquaintance and told me to have a good time. Not once did he talk to me during this crucial event.

I left early.

My eyes had opened to something that I didn't want to see before. I was "just another babe" on his list. I was hurt, big time. For like a week and some I was not myself. Thank God for Suni and work. I buried my self deep in those two, that from afar you would think I was ok. Suni was the only one who knew the extent of this hurt.

Now, aparentlllyyy, Shafa started to call Suni about 2 months ago talking about how he felt bad about the way he treated me and how he was scared to really define things then and all that nonsense, but I was very much getting over him. Or getting over the whole issue. I can easily say I loved Shafa, but it was obvious he didnt even like me at the end of the day.

Tough world we live in huh?

---

"I bribed Suni" he sounded proud of himself.
Suni,I'm sure, didnt ask for much to give him my number, she has been vouching for the man since.

"Really." I was determined to keep this conversation short.

"Yale, for real though, I didnt know you were frustrated to that point. But I honestly just found it a bit funny remembering little details about you... "

Silence.

"I am really sorry, I hope you're feling better. What's stressing you like this sef? I know you to be Superwoman"
Was this man going to try and carry on a conversation like we have been padi's for the past six months?

"C'mon you know you want to talk " I guess he was. " And you know I always come up with good solutions" That he did. I remember when I'd have an issue and we'd talk and he'd solve it like it was nothing - "So what's eating you Miss Dairo?"

"Shafa, I'm honestly too tired to play games. I'm too tired to tell you to leave me alone..."

"Cause you know I won't-"

"Yet, I'd still ask, because I really would like to just sleep and wake up tommorow morning refreshed and just...Happy. So pleaseeeee...free me!" I crawled out form under my covers, talking was taking up all the oxygen.

"Who's holding you now?" he giggled.
See, Shafa might come off to others as a smooth talker, but he's a such a joker.

"Shafa please."

"Can I come in?"
Ehn??????

"Excuse me?" For real, Wtf.

"Can I come in?...... Like indoors?"
See me see trouble.

" I still don't understand, like, into my house?" I jumped out of my bed. I don't know if my, all of a sudden, increased heart rate is because of my anger or my excitement.

"Men, it's like english is hard for you sha. Yes Yale, can I come into your house?"

It took me literally 5 seconds to run to my living room window and peek through its curtains. I saw a black Audi parked behind my Yaris. I couldn't make out the person in the car, but I don't think it takes a genius to know it was Shafa. Shit.

"What the hell!..." All the fatigue wiped from my voice.

"I felt really bad the way you ran off today, but seriously Yale, can I come in , I feel like a stalker, if not sef a killer sitting out here. Abeg, help me out..."

"I... er.. fine. I'm coming."
I don't know what I'm doing o! As much as I don't want to talk to him, I know I'd like to see him. Shhheeet. I frantically turn around in circles because I'm really confused as to what to do now. Fire on the mountain!!

I run to my room taking off my shoes in the process, looking in my corridor mirror as I pass it to make sure my face look's fine. I'm nervous.

I hear the doorbell.

Breath check.
Ye! Where's my Trident?
I lounge for my bag once I get into my room and fish out my pack of gum pretty fast.

Doorbell again!

"I'm cominggg!!" I yell, hoping he hears somehow. I'm running back to the door now.
As I get in front of it I slow down and take a deep breath, there's no use in him knowing I was frantic because of his one small insignificant presence.

Door bell again!!

"Shafa! You can stop now o..." I didnt open the door yet. I peeked through the peep hole, cross checking again. Yup. It was him. He was wearing the same outfit from this evening. Blue shirt, he seemed to have taken off his tie, a grey one he was wearing this evening, black slacks and ...I couldnt really see his shoes.

Mhmmnn...Focus, Strength. Focus, Strength.

"Errrr................." he looked up.

Well there goes my strength. I opened my door.